Friday, November 26, 2010

Album Review: Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday

I love Nicki Minaj. I’m not afraid to admit it. The first track I heard from her, I said to myself, “Remy must be pissed off that she’s locked up.” Now in the here and now, I think they are drastically different artists. Remy just can’t hold a flame to Nicki. Now many people, especially those of us in our twenties don’t respect Nicki. Most of them aren’t listening to her. I’m a music head, I actually will listen to a lot of material before making a judgment call. Other people, will say, “I haven’t been impressed in the music I’ve heard.”

Same people herald Jay-Z as the greatest rapper of all time and don’t listen to his lyrics. Jay-Z himself said,

“They only know what the single is, and singled that out, to be the meaning of what he is about. And being I'm about my business, not mingling much, running my mouth, that shit kept lingering. But no dummy, that's the shit I'm sprinkling, the album width to keep the registers ringing…”

That’s the perfect way to describe Nicki Minaj.

Anyway, about the album…

I always expect very little from a debut album. It’s sort of your demo to the entire industry’s fans. I’m not looking for you to be lyrically superior than anyone in the game, I just want you to prove that you belong here. Pink Friday not only proves that Nicki belongs here, but that she’s doing a damn good job at it too. I think most listeners will be surprised with what the body of work consists of, however, when you listen to this album you can’t hate her for not letting her pop music or singles define her as an artist. It’s refreshing to see that you won’t always get the same Nicki for 13-16 tracks on an album. You get to see all of her.

Yes, all of her various different personalities that she has.

I won’t compare Nicki to Lauryn Hill, I don’t think that’s fair. The artists are very different, their content and their brevity are different. They cast very different nets in terms of the fan base and as individuals they stand alone and are great without competing with one another. I will agree with a fellow blogger, NC17, that I have to go with Nicki over Lil’ Kim, only because Biggie wrote 95% of Lil’ Kim’s content, and Nicki is original. (Aside, no one outside of NYC cares about Rah Digga.)

I think it’s also fair to say that Nicki isn’t a female rapper, she’s just a rapper. She’s banging elbows with everyone else in the industry. She doesn’t get the sixteen left for a female because you want to have a female voice on the track, she’s on the track because people respect her lyrically and enjoy her refreshing sound to hip hop. I wanted to compare the album to Drake because she mixing the rapping with singing, but in that thought I realized that indeed Nicki was not a female rapper, she was just a rapper.

The usual metrics…

Lyrically, you can tell that Lil’ Wayne is a great mentor and encourages all of Young Money to be as creative as possible all the time. Nicki has the ability to outdo everyone on everything she’s on. Missing is Lil’ Wayne, but you can tell he was in the studio screeching, “Let that bitch breathe!” Can’t be mad at her lyrics at all. And her songs are touching, emotional and will connect with all.

Production? I have to be honest the production of this album is intentionally for everyone. It has its pop moments, and it’s hip hop moments. I like that when she’s actually making a point, she doesn’t overshadow it with an overbearing beat. The use of reverb and echo throughout the album only assist and don’t carry. And let us rejoice, there’s no autotune.

I have to tell you, I thought Pink Friday was refreshing. It was a great rookie album. Leaves much room for growth and that’s all you can ask an artist to do. You will not be upset if you go to a Nicki concert because you can take this album content, all of her featured verses, and lastly her mixtape material and be thoroughly entertained.

Hard rating: 85.6.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Morning Mail - 11.22.10

Narrator: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

Narrator: There's only two kinds of people in the world. There's women, and there's men. Summer Finn was a woman.
(Source: 500 Days of Summer)

There’s a post that I’ll never post because you know what, I just can’t stand to explain to women something men keep under wraps. Any man who claims he’s never had his feelings hurt by a woman is either lying, or he’s not the type of guy you ever want to be in a relationship with.

I referenced Dexter last week, (new episode was the BOMB dot COM), but you know one of the things that Dexter struggles with is a lack of emotion. Can you imagine how to teach your children how to deal with pain if you’ve never experienced it? If you’ve never rode a bike, how do you know how to teach your son how to ride his bike? So that’s why I think that every man has to understand heartache in order to be a better man. Those people who go around saying; “I’ve never been cheated on,” “I’ve never been dumped,” or “I don’t love these hoes.” Those are the men who are not winning in life, it’s just not possible.

And on the real, a lot of dudes never surprise me with the caliber of women they end up dating. I’m just like… yeah you might never “simp” and you ain’t “tricking” and all types of things that you consider to be soft and whatnot, but I look at the caliber of women that you are pulling and I’m like, “Ennn, I guess so.”

So you reply to me, “My chick got a fat ass. I stay f*cking bad b*tches”

Yes, because that’s what’s important. You know how I can tell you’re full of shit, because I’ve never once referred to a woman I even remotely care about as a b*tch. I have this rule, I elevate my women so that my peoples will respect her, therefore, they will be like, “Damn, Jay is really doing something.”

Now why would I respect your chick if you say, “I stay f*cking bad b*tches”?

Anyway, if you look at Tiger Woods he’s a great golfer, because he limits his mistakes… on the golf course. He has made all the shots and all the mistakes. And the experience makes him better for it. I’ve had some really bad relationships, some of them were my fault, and sometimes I had to admit that it wasn’t my fault. Accepting failure in a relationship might be the hardest thing you ever will have to do. I’d like to think that those experiences help me to be great now. Or at least I don’t make all those same mistakes, and I don’t want anyone to feel what I have felt in the past.

Life is good. God is good.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Morning Mail – 11.15.10

[who will get the last brownie?]
Anna Scott: Wait, what about me?
Max: Sorry, you think *you* deserve the brownie?
Anna Scott: Well a shot at it at least huh?
William: Well, you'll have to fight me for it, this is a very good brownie.
Anna Scott: I've been on a diet every day since I was nineteen, which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a series of not nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. Ah, and every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment. And it's taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this.
Honey: Really?
Anna Scott: Really. And, one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can't act and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
Max: [long pause] Nah, nice try gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone.
William: Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.
(Source: Notting Hill)

Love this movie for several reasons. Everyone loves a good love story. Have you ever been seeing someone and found out they had a significant other? That’s got to be the worse. I am wondering what’s worst, if you were to start dating and getting to know a person, then you find out they have a significant other. Or, if you notice them from afar and know them platonically and would like to try and date them, then you find out they a significant other. Have you ever met the perfect someone and then found out you couldn’t be together? Do you have unbelievably bad timing with a certain someone in your life and it leaves you thinking like what if? I’m from the school of thought that if it’s meant to be, it will be. Mind you, this is coming from a guy who deleted a girl from his life because he thought he had found the woman he was going to marry, and didn’t want that clouding his goals and plans in life.

Then we have those people in our life we know we shouldn’t be talking to. People who may have a significant other and we just ignore it and proceed anyway. I’ve talked to people I know I shouldn’t have and I’ve stayed away sometimes because I was afraid of hurting or being hurt by a person. I think that there is something to be said for those people who know they will hurt someone and they continue to deal with them anyway. Like there are truly Praying Mantis females out there who know that they have a tendency to date a man, sleep with him, enjoy it for a little bit, but then they’ll want to move on. They are just never content and they know it. And women have men like this in their life too. Keep it real, every woman has her kryptonite.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sympathy Sex

I got to thinking one day about the pathetic reasons why women have sex with men. Like sometimes I feel bad for people with vaginas, because it’s like a gift and a curse. On one hand, you run the entire universe, on the other hand, men act irrational when it comes to wanting to shove things into that vagina. So from time to time, I get into conversations with the women in my life about why they let some dude smash and I came up with this idea to write a post about sympathy beats. I’m not trying to bash women, but I think that it needs to be said, (and filed in the NO MA’AM library in the “Don’t put the p*ssy on a pedestal section.), there are several not so ideal reasons why women will sleep with a man.

And maybe some of you weaker men, will come to grips with yourself and realize she probably didn’t even want to have sex with you.

Obligatory sex –
So basically after a while, a woman feels the need to have sex with you because she’s obligated to. For example, the third date. She may not really want to have sex with you, she may not be ready, but she knows that it’s time that she have sex with you. But wait, that’s not where it ends. This is also reserved for when she’s in a relationship. Like if you ask women you will get mixed opinions, but some women will have sex with a dude when they are not in the mood just for the sake of the relationship. They will blame it on things like “love” and “keeping their man happy,” but in reality they just feel obligated to have sex with him.

She Let Everyone Else Smash –
Well, I’d love to say this wasn’t true, but sometimes a girl just feels bad for a dude. You know that saying, “A ho f*cks everybody, a bitch f*cks everybody, but you.” That’s true! But like, think about this if it’s a crew of about 4 guys, and she sleeps with 3 of them, how does that last dude feel? He’s probably wondering what it is about him that she won’t let him hit. Women know how this affects a man’s self esteem and they break him off in sympathy.

He Put In A Lot of Work –
Sometimes dudes just go too far and the woman gives in. This is a little different than obligatory because she may not even feel like he’s done the right things, it just may be a lot of activity. A dude that’s constantly taking you out, doing nice things for you, took you on vacation and bought you a Balenciaga prom dress is putting in major work. Sometimes, out of sympathy, even though his breath stink and he has crooked teeth, she’ll give him some.

Because She Doesn’t Want to Give Him Head –
Everyday, b. I hear about this one everyday. A lot of women think that head is more intimate than sex, so they will rather a guy have sex with them than give him head. I’ll tell you right now, in Storytellers Magazine for Men, getting head is a distant second to beating. Like if a guy tells his boys, “Oh she gave me head,” THE FIRST QUESTION OUT THEIR MOUTH IS, “But did you beat?”

Hopefully, men and women will read this today. I hope that a few of the men will read this and avoid bragging. There’s nothing like a girl letting everyone know she only had sex with you because she felt sorry for you. And at the same time, I know that a few women were reading this post today in agreement. It’s okay though, sympathy beats are a part of life.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Trust Issues, We All Have Them

I struggled for years with the fact that I don’t trust women. I just always had some sketchy things going down in my relationships. Could it be that I’m just a little too lenient when it comes to women? Probably. I’m never going to be the type to read your text messages, or ask how you know dude. My advice is, come up with what you think the truth is based on their behavior, and then see if you can live with that. Man, I’ve had it in my mind that a chick had been with 50-11 dudes, came to find out she had really only been with a handful.

Yeah, this is about to be an emo post.

I think the main reason why I don’t believe anyone is because in my younger years, I used to lie to women a lot… about everything. That whole thing about suspecting people to do the things you would do in a similar situation is actually the truth. If your girlfriend said she was going out, Why isn’t she responding to text messages? Doesn’t she keep her phone right next to her? In my past, I was that guy who thought I was being cheated on. Because I know that at one point in my life, when I was with one chick I would just ignore my cell phone. Like straight up ignore it.

I think the other reason why I don’t trust women is because a lot of messed up shit has happened to me since I started dealing with women. First, I lost my virginity to a little freak who has two kids now and works at Footaction in PG Plaza. I didn’t even want to do it, but she said everyone else was doing it and we had to. Later on after I stopped talking to her, she would be having sex with one of my best friends. Then, the next girl I was with had a threesome with some older dude that lives in my neighborhood. I understand that most of these hypersexual activities were the result of people under the age of 16 having sex, but… le sigh. College didn’t help, I was trying to build some shit with who I thought was going to be the girl of my dreams until she wrote me a letter and broke up with me, to be with some dude who ended up playing her. This is when I started to believe that not only was she not to be trusted, but she wasn’t that smart either, and it bothered me that she wasn’t that smart because I was attracted to her.

And let me tell you, it doesn’t get any better from there.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been trying to talk to a girl and shoot the straight one only to find out you’re like her #2 option. The messed up part about it is, your #1 option treats you like a #2, and your #2 option, probably feels the same way about you. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been deaded and the next dude your shorty was talking to was a complete dirtbag. Makes you wonder why she would rather that than you. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been flat out lied to, like right to your face. The messed up part is that often times when you know you’re being lied to, you can’t even tell the person how you know because you did some psycho shit. Raise your hand if you’ve ever decided to give it one more chance and that person let you down, just like all the rest of the ones before did.

My hand has been raised this entire post.

So yeah, I just don’t trust women, because I haven’t interacted with too many women, romantically, that I can trust. I think that people do what’s best for them, when it’s best for them. I think that if someone thinks they can get away with something, they just do whatever they want to do. That’s how life is, I’ve came to grips with it. I’ve tried all the remedies and suggestions and none of that shit ever worked for me. Trust is given, or trust is earned, I think those are both bullshit. My strategy works best, I don’t trust you as far as I can see you. I’ve had several conversations with women up until this point in my life where they ask me if I trust them, and I say, I don’t need to trust you. At the end of the night, if I’m not in bed with you, you could be anywhere in the world, doing whatever. People have told me that they were going to sleep and come to find out they were in their car, so I have been led to believe that more times than not, I shouldn’t have been trusting the person. So I don’t trust them.

I’m working on my shit though. I’m getting better. It’s a work in progress. I force myself to trust now, and hope that it becomes habit later. Can’t say that I can actually feel it working, but I think that I’m not likely to do anything psycho, and I’m not liable to blow up anytime soon.. That’s progress right? Closer today than I was yesterday. (This is actually a motivational quote I learned. Try it out sometime.)

Friday, November 5, 2010

Morning Mail - 11.5.2010

There are several things that women can do that can make a man crawl into a hole and never come out again. Some times, these things aren’t even mean or insulting. They can just be the realization that you aren’t on the same page, or that you need to make changes in your life. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that my development has been grossly impacted by the women I’ve dated. I just didn’t have all the answers from birth. I had to get out there try some things, if it worked, it worked, and if it didn’t, it didn’t. And then I had to learn that not everything works with everyone.

Women have power over men, some think they have great power. I can tell you right now that if you think you have power, you have no power, and you think you have no power, you have a lot. Women influence men to do just about everything they do, but men just won’t publicly admit that. We’ll make up all types of excuses for why we do the things that we do but we won’t admit that it’s because of women.

Left to our own devices men would be playing sports. Men are raised from birth to do things that will get women. All signs point to money. We go to school to get an education or play sports. We get good jobs based on how great our schooling is, and then we start buying stuff. So we can attract women. Listen, men don’t buy nice suits because they want their male friends to see them in it. Honestly, my boys can see me in gym shorts and chancletas for all I care. I don’t drive a nice car because I want my boys to see it either, we can pimp it in the Escort. If you leave the decision up to men they will spend their money on sports, beer, porn and gadgets.

But there are more subtle ways that a woman can influence a man’s decisions. Have you ever met a man who starts to dress differently once he’s dating a certain type of girl? Are you one of those guys who used to be decked out in Iceberg Jeans and an Avirex jacket, but now you look like a model for Ralph Lauren? It happens. Women learn how to jump double dutch in grade school, men are born with that skill. Simply put, men have perfected the art of “getting in where you fit in.” Men like the things that women like. Men start to read books that they think women like, so we have something to talk to them about or show we have something in common with them.

Here’s a secret: The only thing a man wants his woman to have in common with him is an appreciation for his d*ck.

Women force men to stay out of clubs and bars, finish school, buy a house and get their credit up to 750. How can I be sure of this? I repeat, men = sports, beer, porn and gadgets. The next time someone says, you can’t change a man, I’m just going to send them this link and say, please read Dr. J’s Morning Mail.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Morning Mail – 11.03.10

Nothing really ever upsets me about Halloween, because at the end of the day, I’m a shrugger. I shrug just about everything off as, hey not me, I won’t complain. We all know that women get dressed on Halloween like sluts. That’s just a fact. You show me the place where the majority of the women have on costumes with clothes on, and then I’ll believe you. But as long as we have the majority of establishments with women dressed up as flight attendants, school girls, avatars, body paint models, Lara Croft, and the nineteen girls dressed as Nicky Minaj, I’m not buying one piece of your ish. This Halloween was special for me because I figured out a way to counter this movement.

I decided to be Kanye West for Halloween, but no not the Runaway Kanye or the 808s and Heartbreak Kanye, no I decided to be the VMA Kanye. Why?

Now, the thing is you’ll go out on Halloween and women will get offended when you stare at their scandalous outfits. Like if your breasts are hanging out of shirt and halfway down the street, what did you expect me to do? And if your ass is hanging outside of your “shorts” you can’t get mad at a dude for trying to grab you. So why be Kanye? So I could act as INAPPROPRIATE as possible and write it all off as being Kanye from the VMAs, the most inappropriate man to ever walk the earth. So I had FUN for Halloween. The best part, was that people knew exactly who I was before I even opened my mouth. And then there was the girl who told me, that I look like a normal person dressed to go to the club, but the fact that I have on sunglasses indoors and Timberland boots ANNDDD a bottle of Henny makes it so obvious who I am. Anyway…

Here are the highlights of my night:

There was the Black girl who wore a corset so tight that her breasts kept popping out. Now here’s something I’ve never understood about women. When you left your house you knew that ish wasn’t fitting correctly. When you LEFT YOUR HOUSE you knew that if that safety pin didn’t hold up, or that double sided tape, or you didn’t keep pulling down your skirt, shit would go crazy. You knew! But you left anyway. And then what happens? You get drunk and you forget about all of those things. Or just the simple fact that if you’re holding on by a thread that’s no way to start your night. Anyway, her breasts kept popping out, so she figured since everyone had seen them already, she’d just leave them out.

Of course there was one person who realized that their night started too fast and they couldn’t slow down for nothing… like for nothing. You ever show up somewhere like before 10 and somebody is throwing up outside. Real talk, I was driving around DC at like 3PM and this chick was hurling in her front yard!!! Oh I forgot to tell you the Rally for Sanity was this weekend. And my quick thoughts on that, I commend them for doing that, but it just turned into a big party. And everyone was drunk. There’s something weird about seeing a can of beer on the National Mall, noting that there isn’t a bar or beer store for a good mile or so.

Lastly there was the, did you know it was going to be 35 degrees out here outfits? So many Princess Jasmine’s with those see through pants on… I’m looking like, “girl you know you cold.” But there were dudes out there with no shirts on too. I would like to state for the record that it was my idea to be an actually Avatar and go around “touching”. I realized that this was going to go horribly wrong and I decided against it and chose ‘Ye instead. But there’s nothing like looking at some nitwit and saying what your momma told you several times in your youth, “You are going to catch Pneumonia.”

What can I say, I had fun though… I realized that Nightmare on M Street is the only way to go. I had an infamous conversation with Nicky Minaj outside of a popular lounge where they serve overpriced drinks about why Black people do the stupidest things at times. My point, if you’re going in there to find a man, fine go, that might work out for you. But you and your friends want to get wasted, and every drink that I’m going to have tonight costs $2 or $3. In my opinion, that’s a great deal! It makes no sense to pay $7 or $10 for the same exact drink at that lounge. I can go to any of these bars in this 1-mile radius and have that same special. At the end, she and all her friends agreed they were being stupid.