Everyone knows that when a woman says, “I’m fine” they really don’t mean it. And if they say, “Don’t worry about it” they really mean, “I’ll take care of it.” However, do we really know what women mean when they say what they say to us? I mean we all realize that men and women speak very different languages. You know, Venus vs. Mars? Well, I’m going to spill the beans on four important terms you need to know about your woman.
1. If your chick said she, “snuggled or cuddled” or cuddled with someone, that’s to be interpreted as spooning with stroking. Now if she says to you, “He was my cuddle buddy, but nothing ever happened” you should probably drop her. That’s almost as bad as, “my dog ate my homework.”
2. Now if you ask your chick about a guy and she says anything involving the word, “interesting.” It is INTERESTING. Meaning they probably used to sleep together under some shady circumstances. Expect a story along these lines, “Well, my homegirl liked him, but he was really into me. Since she was my roommate we had to keep it on the low.”
3. I hate when a girl says, “I’m sure I’ve been somebody’s jumpoff.” You know damn well you were a jumpoff when you was doing jumpoff behavior. If a dude only calls you for sex and doesn’t ever suggest taking you out in public. You’re his jumpoff. Now let me caveat this and add, some women don’t mind having this type of relationship. However, women got to recognize real and be real, you were a jumpoff. And that’s okay, you gotta do what you gotta do.
4. “Hooked up.” Everyone as far as the negrodom reaches has wondered what this means. It means they slept together. Deductive reasoning here, (look it up dummies); if she kissed him, she would say we kissed, if she made out of with him, she would say we made out, and so on and so forth. That leads you to the final result, she just doesn’t want to say, “we had sex.” She probably doesn’t want you to know that she is capable of having sex with a guy and there not being a relationship or even a second time. The majority of women have “hooked up” before. #kanyeshrug.
Now here’s what’s going to happen, a few of you are going to say, when I say I cuddled with a guy I meant just that we cuddled. But never the less, I’m interested to hear what you guys have to say on the topic.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Open Letter to My Sisters, by April Rogerson
My homegirl posted this on her site and I thought it was a great read. I have to admit, every woman in a relationship was like this to me. It kind of made me believe that the author must have a little Dominican in her, but um... let's not go there.
Written by the most phenomenol April Gross-Rogerson! Enjoy ladies!!! I know it's long but trust me it is worth it! I broke it up a bit because I know you guys see too much type together and start to glaze!
Ok so i've been hearing this just about everyday either on television or in print. Each and everyday there is some black woman moaning about the no good men/man she encounters or is dealing with.
Why she is higher and better than all the black men available and how they need to do better. Then the 20/20 piece speaking to African American women who are not willing to "settle." I feel compelled to speak on this.
I am a happily (most times) married black woman (and that is not without its ups and downs) and have found that we as black women do not want to accept our responsibility in what is going wrong in relationships/marriages and why they're not working. (POW! Carrie's 2 cents)
Far too often we beat our chest and say that we are not settling, sounds good to all our ears but is not reality. You will need to settle in some form or fashion because there is no perfect man/person out there, and we ourselves are not perfect. Yes our men have issues, yes they have some growing up to do, yes they have to learn how to be good husbands, fathers, and lovers for us. But our men have made great strides and we continue to beat them down and say how much they aren't doing enough. (Preach April!!!)
I have learned in my marriage to praise my husband and hold him up for even the most minor things. I make him dinner, serve his plate, and within our household try to make sure I am treating him like a "man". I try my best to make him feel loved, valued, and appreciated. Do you think my husband feels I am any less educated, intelligent, strong, sassy, and all the other "qualities" us as black women have come to love and signifies us?
When I explain this to both my married and unmarried friends, the overwhelming response I get is "I'm not praising him for something he's supposed to do! - I am not raising no boys! - "I'm not his maid!" This is what most men want/need. One day my sister-in-law did a status update saying how great her husband was one morning for helping her out with an issue with their child. I wasn't shocked by the amount of women that responded "that is what he's supposed to do". Really?!?
BUT When any of us make a status update about all that we've done on any paticular morning/day for our families, we get a parade of "superwoman" "you go girl" catch phrases. I had an older woman who asked me (trying to get some handle on the state of young black relationships) "When did it become a problem to take care of your mate??" I did not have an answer for her.
As for us women, I think one of the problems is that we have taken great strides to become great women in our careers and motherhood, but I think success in those areas does not necessarily lend itself to being a successful WIFE.
Women, we are our own worst enemies. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!! my 2 cents again)
Whenever you have a girlfriend come to you with a problem she had in her relationship or date, most of us will not call that woman on the carpet and ask her what she may have done to ellicit that response from her significant other/date. Most times they will be patted on the back and told "Good riddance girl! - "He wasnt the one for you" - "Oh no don't deal with that, you deserve better!"- "Kick him to the curb" and the like.
Most of the women who are great in their careers and great mothers think they are a fabulous catch for any man and dont see how he could resist marrying her.
Do you make him feel like you need him - or do you let him know everyday and every way how much you can and have been doing things on your own? Do you tell/show him you appreciate the father he is - or do you do a check list of the things he doesnt do? How are we as women striving to help each other be better spouses thereby creating better homes and futures for our children? Have we learned how to be happier more amicable and loving towards our spouse, even when we're mad?
I have been with my husband for 14 years and trust me we have been through hell. He has not always been a good mate to me. But I also had to start to look at myself and start making changes within me and hope that led to positive changes within him. I was angry, I was hurt, I felt betrayed, but I stayed. When I made a decision to see our marriage/relationship through, I realized I was always angry and looking at him sideways.
Literally one day I decided to be happy.
Whether he was doing things to make me happy or not.
I began to talk to him and treat him in a loving way. What I found was, although I had a right to be angry, didnt mean that it was RIGHT to be angry - forever. Most of us are angry, we wont admit it to ourselves, or each other, but we are. Our men have been listening to angry black women all their life - their mothers, grandmothers, aunties, sisters...on and on. Why do you think he wants to listen to your angry-ness non-stop? How many of us fall on the crutch of being a "strong black woman" "HE JUST CANT HANDLE A STRONG BLACK WOMAN" never thinking that...
maybe - just maybe, YOUR ASS IS A LITTLE TOO DAMN STRONG AND NEED TO TONE IT DOWN A BIT! We say our men don't have any examples of how to be a good husband, however, many of us don't have good examples of how to be a good wife EITHER . We have watched our mothers, grandmas, aunties and such run their men right out the house with their mouths and actions. Rarely do any of the women in our lives sit us down and say "dont be like me, I didnt respect and appreciate your father, I ran him out and I dont want that for you".
Be a woman of virtue, loving, loyal, and appreciative, you'll be surprised how much your personal life/relationships can change. Deal with your baggage and issues - we all have them - figure out how to exist in the dating world while working through them. We are all looking for this great man. There are very few great men out there (if there are any).
My advice, find a DECENT MAN. Sometimes he will be great, there are times where he may be horrible, but most times he will be decent. Also, being a good husband/father is not mutually exclusive. Just because a man drinks doesn't mean he is not a good supportive father to his child (that child may remember him drinking every night but also remembers him being at every baseball game or recital). Just because he gambles doesn't mean he is not a good father or supportive spouse, etc. A man is not a "bad" man because he has a vice. Let he without sin cast the first stone. These are things the man will have to work on and have the support of his wife to be better and do better. I think the question you have to ask yourself, is whether on not you are capable of dealing with whatever your man's vice happens to be.
Believe that this is in no way making excuses for what men do/don't do, but we as women have a lot of power in our words and actions that can make a decent man strive to be a great one. Stop resigning yourself to being a victim of all the horrible, "bad" men out there. There are still decent black men out there (lets face it some of us will never marry a black man just based off the sheer numbers). However, if we continue to delude ourselves that the problem is only the men - and as soon as they get their acts together we will all be better off...we will continue to the be unhappily unmarried.
***FYI
de-cent - (adj)
1. conforming to the recognized standard of propriety, good taste, modesty, morality.
2. respectable; worthy.
3. adequate; fair; passable.
4. kind; obliging; generous.
5. suitable; appropriate.
6. of fairly attractive appearance
POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM TO APRIL!
xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl
Ok so i've been hearing this just about everyday either on television or in print. Each and everyday there is some black woman moaning about the no good men/man she encounters or is dealing with.
Why she is higher and better than all the black men available and how they need to do better. Then the 20/20 piece speaking to African American women who are not willing to "settle." I feel compelled to speak on this.
I am a happily (most times) married black woman (and that is not without its ups and downs) and have found that we as black women do not want to accept our responsibility in what is going wrong in relationships/marriages and why they're not working. (POW! Carrie's 2 cents)
Far too often we beat our chest and say that we are not settling, sounds good to all our ears but is not reality. You will need to settle in some form or fashion because there is no perfect man/person out there, and we ourselves are not perfect. Yes our men have issues, yes they have some growing up to do, yes they have to learn how to be good husbands, fathers, and lovers for us. But our men have made great strides and we continue to beat them down and say how much they aren't doing enough. (Preach April!!!)
I have learned in my marriage to praise my husband and hold him up for even the most minor things. I make him dinner, serve his plate, and within our household try to make sure I am treating him like a "man". I try my best to make him feel loved, valued, and appreciated. Do you think my husband feels I am any less educated, intelligent, strong, sassy, and all the other "qualities" us as black women have come to love and signifies us?
When I explain this to both my married and unmarried friends, the overwhelming response I get is "I'm not praising him for something he's supposed to do! - I am not raising no boys! - "I'm not his maid!" This is what most men want/need. One day my sister-in-law did a status update saying how great her husband was one morning for helping her out with an issue with their child. I wasn't shocked by the amount of women that responded "that is what he's supposed to do". Really?!?
BUT When any of us make a status update about all that we've done on any paticular morning/day for our families, we get a parade of "superwoman" "you go girl" catch phrases. I had an older woman who asked me (trying to get some handle on the state of young black relationships) "When did it become a problem to take care of your mate??" I did not have an answer for her.
As for us women, I think one of the problems is that we have taken great strides to become great women in our careers and motherhood, but I think success in those areas does not necessarily lend itself to being a successful WIFE.
Women, we are our own worst enemies. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!! my 2 cents again)
Whenever you have a girlfriend come to you with a problem she had in her relationship or date, most of us will not call that woman on the carpet and ask her what she may have done to ellicit that response from her significant other/date. Most times they will be patted on the back and told "Good riddance girl! - "He wasnt the one for you" - "Oh no don't deal with that, you deserve better!"- "Kick him to the curb" and the like.
Most of the women who are great in their careers and great mothers think they are a fabulous catch for any man and dont see how he could resist marrying her.
Do you make him feel like you need him - or do you let him know everyday and every way how much you can and have been doing things on your own? Do you tell/show him you appreciate the father he is - or do you do a check list of the things he doesnt do? How are we as women striving to help each other be better spouses thereby creating better homes and futures for our children? Have we learned how to be happier more amicable and loving towards our spouse, even when we're mad?
I have been with my husband for 14 years and trust me we have been through hell. He has not always been a good mate to me. But I also had to start to look at myself and start making changes within me and hope that led to positive changes within him. I was angry, I was hurt, I felt betrayed, but I stayed. When I made a decision to see our marriage/relationship through, I realized I was always angry and looking at him sideways.
Literally one day I decided to be happy.
Whether he was doing things to make me happy or not.
I began to talk to him and treat him in a loving way. What I found was, although I had a right to be angry, didnt mean that it was RIGHT to be angry - forever. Most of us are angry, we wont admit it to ourselves, or each other, but we are. Our men have been listening to angry black women all their life - their mothers, grandmothers, aunties, sisters...on and on. Why do you think he wants to listen to your angry-ness non-stop? How many of us fall on the crutch of being a "strong black woman" "HE JUST CANT HANDLE A STRONG BLACK WOMAN" never thinking that...
maybe - just maybe, YOUR ASS IS A LITTLE TOO DAMN STRONG AND NEED TO TONE IT DOWN A BIT! We say our men don't have any examples of how to be a good husband, however, many of us don't have good examples of how to be a good wife EITHER . We have watched our mothers, grandmas, aunties and such run their men right out the house with their mouths and actions. Rarely do any of the women in our lives sit us down and say "dont be like me, I didnt respect and appreciate your father, I ran him out and I dont want that for you".
Be a woman of virtue, loving, loyal, and appreciative, you'll be surprised how much your personal life/relationships can change. Deal with your baggage and issues - we all have them - figure out how to exist in the dating world while working through them. We are all looking for this great man. There are very few great men out there (if there are any).
My advice, find a DECENT MAN. Sometimes he will be great, there are times where he may be horrible, but most times he will be decent. Also, being a good husband/father is not mutually exclusive. Just because a man drinks doesn't mean he is not a good supportive father to his child (that child may remember him drinking every night but also remembers him being at every baseball game or recital). Just because he gambles doesn't mean he is not a good father or supportive spouse, etc. A man is not a "bad" man because he has a vice. Let he without sin cast the first stone. These are things the man will have to work on and have the support of his wife to be better and do better. I think the question you have to ask yourself, is whether on not you are capable of dealing with whatever your man's vice happens to be.
Believe that this is in no way making excuses for what men do/don't do, but we as women have a lot of power in our words and actions that can make a decent man strive to be a great one. Stop resigning yourself to being a victim of all the horrible, "bad" men out there. There are still decent black men out there (lets face it some of us will never marry a black man just based off the sheer numbers). However, if we continue to delude ourselves that the problem is only the men - and as soon as they get their acts together we will all be better off...we will continue to the be unhappily unmarried.
***FYI
de-cent - (adj)
1. conforming to the recognized standard of propriety, good taste, modesty, morality.
2. respectable; worthy.
3. adequate; fair; passable.
4. kind; obliging; generous.
5. suitable; appropriate.
6. of fairly attractive appearance
POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOM TO APRIL!
xoxo
Carrie Pink
Pretty World Inc
Modern Day Supergirl
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Lakers Are Fine
You rarely get a topic out of me that’s not about relationships, but I’d like to talk about the greatest sports team in the history of professional sports the Los Angeles Lakers. If you don’t believe me, consider this fact, the Lakers have been in roughly 50% of all the NBA championships, half the time they are in the championship! Anyway, a lot of people are looking at my Lakers thinking that they don’t have it this year. I’m telling you right now, the Lakers are going to repeat.
Is Dr. J making guarantees? Hell yes. Here’s why, the Lakers are currently one of the most unhealthy teams in the league. Pau Gasol is not at full strength. Ron Artest is not at full strength. And it’s no surprise to anyone, but Kobe Bryant is falling apart at the seams right now. You mean to tell me that the Lakers have the best record in the NBA and three of their superstars are not at full strength. Did I mention that the bench has been sucking wind and not playing up to potential? Or maybe the fact that Bynum is getting so good it’s quite ridiculous at this point?
It all comes down to this as I said last year, the only team that can beat the Lakers in a seven game series is the Boston Celtics. The Cavs can win two games, but can they win four. The Lakers are the best at making adjustments in the league. Why? Because they have the greatest basketball player of all time playing for them. I’m not getting into this argument again today, Kobe is the best, period. He’s lights out from 27 feet and in, his basketball IQ at his age is far more superb than anybody in this league ever. All of the best players in this league will tell you. LeBron didn’t win an MVP until he spent the summer with Kobe getting tips on how to take his game to the next level. And people say Kobe had Shaq, but the reality of the situation is Shaq had Kobe. With 4 championships and likely to get 5, he’s the best. If you would like to compare Kobe to Jordan I’ll tell you to explain this to me, from 1991-1998 please tell me the other superstars in the NBA and I’ll compare that to 2000-2010, and you’ll see that Kobe has dominated this league in a time where the talent has never been higher.
The Lakers are on a road trip and once they return back to the Staples Center we’ll hopefully give Kobe less minutes or a few games off. For the love of the game, you have to let that hand heal. The supporting cast has to step up and Kobe has to let them do that. Ron Artest has to step up and play more efficient and if he does he can carry the team to a few wins without Kobe for about 10 games. And also he is poised for a great season in 2010-11, you’re not ready. Look at Rodman’s second and third years in Chicago. Watch them.
Too positive? Maybe. I’ll tell you the teams that concern me against the Lakers. The Nuggets, Celtics, and Thunder scare me. Why? The Nuggets play too physical and the Lakers have never and never will be a physical team, they also have enough firepower to withstand the Lakers and play decent defense. That’s why the Suns don’t make the list, they don’t play defense. The Celtics have proven leadership and they’ve been to the mountaintop and know how to get back and how to win. You can’t ever count them out. Dr. J why thee hell do the Thunder scare you? Because they can slip into the playoffs and give the Lakers problems. Kobe’s weakness is getting into shootouts with other players. I’ll let you know right now, Kevin Durant is the truth. He’s actually the MVP right now and no one is giving him credit. You take Durant off his team and that team goes KAPUTZ. They are the type of team to sneak in the playoffs and take the Lakers to seven games and maybe pull out a win.
But in reality, these things aren’t going to happen. The Lakers are stinking it up right now, but once we start clicking after the all star break, you’re going to remember this blog. The Lakers will repeat, in fact, they will three peat. And I’m not just saying this because I’m a fan, I’m saying this because there is just isn’t any better team in the league. If you don’t believe me, give me an argument why they won’t win.
Is Dr. J making guarantees? Hell yes. Here’s why, the Lakers are currently one of the most unhealthy teams in the league. Pau Gasol is not at full strength. Ron Artest is not at full strength. And it’s no surprise to anyone, but Kobe Bryant is falling apart at the seams right now. You mean to tell me that the Lakers have the best record in the NBA and three of their superstars are not at full strength. Did I mention that the bench has been sucking wind and not playing up to potential? Or maybe the fact that Bynum is getting so good it’s quite ridiculous at this point?
It all comes down to this as I said last year, the only team that can beat the Lakers in a seven game series is the Boston Celtics. The Cavs can win two games, but can they win four. The Lakers are the best at making adjustments in the league. Why? Because they have the greatest basketball player of all time playing for them. I’m not getting into this argument again today, Kobe is the best, period. He’s lights out from 27 feet and in, his basketball IQ at his age is far more superb than anybody in this league ever. All of the best players in this league will tell you. LeBron didn’t win an MVP until he spent the summer with Kobe getting tips on how to take his game to the next level. And people say Kobe had Shaq, but the reality of the situation is Shaq had Kobe. With 4 championships and likely to get 5, he’s the best. If you would like to compare Kobe to Jordan I’ll tell you to explain this to me, from 1991-1998 please tell me the other superstars in the NBA and I’ll compare that to 2000-2010, and you’ll see that Kobe has dominated this league in a time where the talent has never been higher.
The Lakers are on a road trip and once they return back to the Staples Center we’ll hopefully give Kobe less minutes or a few games off. For the love of the game, you have to let that hand heal. The supporting cast has to step up and Kobe has to let them do that. Ron Artest has to step up and play more efficient and if he does he can carry the team to a few wins without Kobe for about 10 games. And also he is poised for a great season in 2010-11, you’re not ready. Look at Rodman’s second and third years in Chicago. Watch them.
Too positive? Maybe. I’ll tell you the teams that concern me against the Lakers. The Nuggets, Celtics, and Thunder scare me. Why? The Nuggets play too physical and the Lakers have never and never will be a physical team, they also have enough firepower to withstand the Lakers and play decent defense. That’s why the Suns don’t make the list, they don’t play defense. The Celtics have proven leadership and they’ve been to the mountaintop and know how to get back and how to win. You can’t ever count them out. Dr. J why thee hell do the Thunder scare you? Because they can slip into the playoffs and give the Lakers problems. Kobe’s weakness is getting into shootouts with other players. I’ll let you know right now, Kevin Durant is the truth. He’s actually the MVP right now and no one is giving him credit. You take Durant off his team and that team goes KAPUTZ. They are the type of team to sneak in the playoffs and take the Lakers to seven games and maybe pull out a win.
But in reality, these things aren’t going to happen. The Lakers are stinking it up right now, but once we start clicking after the all star break, you’re going to remember this blog. The Lakers will repeat, in fact, they will three peat. And I’m not just saying this because I’m a fan, I’m saying this because there is just isn’t any better team in the league. If you don’t believe me, give me an argument why they won’t win.
Friday, January 22, 2010
18 Months Without Sex
I was watching the Proposal this past weekend. It’s a funny and cute movie with Sandra Bullock and Van Wilder (I don’t know his real name, but that’s who I know him as.) In the movie she explains to him that she hasn’t had sex in 18 months and his facial expression was classic. He had this look in his face as if he had just met a 40 year old woman who wasn’t marry, just kidding. But he looked totally shocked and also had this look as though something was wrong with her. It got me to thinking… what’s wrong with her? And what is the presumption that something is wrong with her? It led me to this question, how can men be so adamant about women not having a lot of partners, but at the same time surprised when they haven’t had sex in 18 months?
I have had long extended periods of time where I went without sex. But I must admit, I’d be surprised if I found out a woman hadn’t had sex in 18 months. (Let me qualify this argument, this is assuming she’s not a virgin.) I have these assumptions about women and their sex lives. I think that my one big assumption, which is just how I feel so I am not looking for affirmation or disagreement, is that a woman is in complete control of her sex life. If she wants to have sex, she can have sex, so what is wrong with her that she hasn’t wanted to have sex in 18 months.
So inside of the mind of a man, especially Dr. J’s mind here’s what I am sitting in my chair with a pen and pad waiting to figure out; Did you choose not to get laid or Is it that you can’t get laid?
If you chose not to get laid and you were able to do the 18 months, I’m actually proud of you. If you chose not to get laid because you have realized that you prefer to be alone I’m wondering why you feel that way. I have met plenty of women who through their travels realize that they are better off alone. I think that some of them are selfish, but some of them feel that they really don’t want to bother a man with their faults. I’m not mad at a woman for assessing herself and realizing this is who she is, but I will recommend that she is not stagnant and that she spends her time working on her problems. Maybe she chose to not get laid because she has had some recent problematic relationships and wants to wait for a substantial relationship before doing it again. I’m going to go against the grain, but has it been 18 months since you’ve met someone who you could build something substantial with? I’d need more information on the expectations of this relationship.
Maybe she can’t get laid, and in these desperate times of glits and glam that’s very possible. I can see how a girl would be rendered without because she can’t keep up with that image every guy is infatuated with. Maybe she’s hot the give. (Got the HIV.) In which case, she ain’t getting no ass until the Bills win the Super Bowl. Maybe she is crazy, maybe she squirts and is really embarrassed by it, whatever the reason is, there are reasons.
But even despite these two perspectives, here’s what I think… I think you should go get laid. Listen, I’m going on wax as saying this publicly, I do not care how many men you slept with as long as you don’t care. If I ask you how many people you’ve had sex with and you don’t have a problem telling me, then I know that you’re okay with it, if you have a problem with it then you’re ashamed of it.
So yeah, go get laid.
I have had long extended periods of time where I went without sex. But I must admit, I’d be surprised if I found out a woman hadn’t had sex in 18 months. (Let me qualify this argument, this is assuming she’s not a virgin.) I have these assumptions about women and their sex lives. I think that my one big assumption, which is just how I feel so I am not looking for affirmation or disagreement, is that a woman is in complete control of her sex life. If she wants to have sex, she can have sex, so what is wrong with her that she hasn’t wanted to have sex in 18 months.
So inside of the mind of a man, especially Dr. J’s mind here’s what I am sitting in my chair with a pen and pad waiting to figure out; Did you choose not to get laid or Is it that you can’t get laid?
If you chose not to get laid and you were able to do the 18 months, I’m actually proud of you. If you chose not to get laid because you have realized that you prefer to be alone I’m wondering why you feel that way. I have met plenty of women who through their travels realize that they are better off alone. I think that some of them are selfish, but some of them feel that they really don’t want to bother a man with their faults. I’m not mad at a woman for assessing herself and realizing this is who she is, but I will recommend that she is not stagnant and that she spends her time working on her problems. Maybe she chose to not get laid because she has had some recent problematic relationships and wants to wait for a substantial relationship before doing it again. I’m going to go against the grain, but has it been 18 months since you’ve met someone who you could build something substantial with? I’d need more information on the expectations of this relationship.
Maybe she can’t get laid, and in these desperate times of glits and glam that’s very possible. I can see how a girl would be rendered without because she can’t keep up with that image every guy is infatuated with. Maybe she’s hot the give. (Got the HIV.) In which case, she ain’t getting no ass until the Bills win the Super Bowl. Maybe she is crazy, maybe she squirts and is really embarrassed by it, whatever the reason is, there are reasons.
But even despite these two perspectives, here’s what I think… I think you should go get laid. Listen, I’m going on wax as saying this publicly, I do not care how many men you slept with as long as you don’t care. If I ask you how many people you’ve had sex with and you don’t have a problem telling me, then I know that you’re okay with it, if you have a problem with it then you’re ashamed of it.
So yeah, go get laid.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Gilbert Arenas is No Thug and Guns in DC
Let’s be clear Gilbert Arenas is not a thug in the least bit, so the way he’s being treated right now by the NBA and the Washington Wizards concerns me. To be honest, if Blatche had done this, I’d be all for suspended him for the rest of the season because I’ve seen him around and although he’s a pretty cool guy, his circle concerns me like Zo’s did when he was with the Hoyas. Gilbert is a joker and probably went too far, but we are not talking about some thug. And I actually buy his excuse that he didn’t want the guns in the house after his kids were born.
But this reminds me of something I said back when Plax got caught up, I feel sorry for professional athletes. You basically have free access to information about their finances and they stand out as some of the richest people in a city most times. In order to avoid violent situations they have to protect themselves and often times that comes in the place of a firearm. I think that the NBA could potentially solve this issue by doing two things I think eliminate excuses from professional athletes. Provide a security detail, and tell them that if they want a firearm it cannot leave a lock box in their house. That way they can’t complain about not feeling safe when they go out. Second, provide them with a driver. This way when someone gets a DUI they have no excuse and they should be suspended for a minimum 25 games with no pay. It makes no sense for a guy making millions of dollar to not spring for a driver, but the NBA/NFL can eliminate this excuse by just providing it. After all the owners are stacking enough bread to do so anyway.
Few people know this but DC’s ban on guns actually makes sense. A lot of people complain about the right to bear arms, but let me be honest with you the NRA is not complaining about this because they want to protect their homes, they just want to go hunting. If safety is a concern you have to understand that DC is dumb small and you are never too far from police authorities who can respond to a situation. (I won’t make any comments on whether they will actually show up, that’s another issue.) But in a major city like DC, to have a handgun in your crib is excessive.
I also think that no one owns a gun without planning on using it. In addition I don’t live in fear. I lock my door every night before I go to bed and if someone really wants to get in they will. But I won’t keep a firearm because I don’t want to live in fear. The mere presence of the gun says, I’m concerned that someone may try to take ill will against me. And I’m not ready to give up on the Creator just yet, I believe that he has a plan for every one of us and if it’s your time to go then it’s your time to go.
What I hope comes of the Gilbert situation is that he is able to reach a plea deal and avoid jail time, he’s no hard criminal. I also hope that his suspension is lifted and he’s made to do a rack of community service and be an example in the community. He should be going around talking to everyone about why guns are a bad thing and in addition he should be at the forefront of the Metropolitan Police Department’s efforts to collect hand guns off the street. But let the man play some basketball and get back to life as planned, right now, he’s not in a safe place because he’s just sitting at home doing nothing and nothing good can come of that.
These are just my thoughts.
But this reminds me of something I said back when Plax got caught up, I feel sorry for professional athletes. You basically have free access to information about their finances and they stand out as some of the richest people in a city most times. In order to avoid violent situations they have to protect themselves and often times that comes in the place of a firearm. I think that the NBA could potentially solve this issue by doing two things I think eliminate excuses from professional athletes. Provide a security detail, and tell them that if they want a firearm it cannot leave a lock box in their house. That way they can’t complain about not feeling safe when they go out. Second, provide them with a driver. This way when someone gets a DUI they have no excuse and they should be suspended for a minimum 25 games with no pay. It makes no sense for a guy making millions of dollar to not spring for a driver, but the NBA/NFL can eliminate this excuse by just providing it. After all the owners are stacking enough bread to do so anyway.
Few people know this but DC’s ban on guns actually makes sense. A lot of people complain about the right to bear arms, but let me be honest with you the NRA is not complaining about this because they want to protect their homes, they just want to go hunting. If safety is a concern you have to understand that DC is dumb small and you are never too far from police authorities who can respond to a situation. (I won’t make any comments on whether they will actually show up, that’s another issue.) But in a major city like DC, to have a handgun in your crib is excessive.
I also think that no one owns a gun without planning on using it. In addition I don’t live in fear. I lock my door every night before I go to bed and if someone really wants to get in they will. But I won’t keep a firearm because I don’t want to live in fear. The mere presence of the gun says, I’m concerned that someone may try to take ill will against me. And I’m not ready to give up on the Creator just yet, I believe that he has a plan for every one of us and if it’s your time to go then it’s your time to go.
What I hope comes of the Gilbert situation is that he is able to reach a plea deal and avoid jail time, he’s no hard criminal. I also hope that his suspension is lifted and he’s made to do a rack of community service and be an example in the community. He should be going around talking to everyone about why guns are a bad thing and in addition he should be at the forefront of the Metropolitan Police Department’s efforts to collect hand guns off the street. But let the man play some basketball and get back to life as planned, right now, he’s not in a safe place because he’s just sitting at home doing nothing and nothing good can come of that.
These are just my thoughts.
I Hate These Women The Most
I have a random rant this morning. I seriously have issues with women who constantly #swindle guys into buying things for them. I think it’s so tacky, I think it’s even more pathetic that simps fall for it. I think most everyone knows that I personally do not believe in making women pay for things, but it’s all about tact. As I was talking with some of my boys recently, guys who know how to date and have a track record of good dating, we don’t want her to pay for dinner, but we do want her to at least reach for her purse. (After all, I probably gave the waitor my credit card when I gave the menu back to him.)
This past weekend in DC it dawned on me why there are so many women in the club who when not in the club claim they want a man but can’t figure out why these men want to bed them but don’t want to wife them. It’s about what you bring to the table, absolutely nothing but good looks. So therefore the guy is like, okay, I’ll trick for a bit to hit for a bit, but I’m not wifing you down. Am I asking that women buy guy’s drinks? No, not in the least bit, but how about having a drink in your hand before a guy offers to buy you a drink?
The other thing that women should watch is their company. It is not the fault of any woman if her network is composed of mainly high rollers, but it is. Hear me out, you need some men in different tax brackets especially if all the men in your network are in a tax bracket ahead of you. People can only assume you are a gold digger. (Now I know that some women will defend herself to the death, but listen to me carefully as I will repeat, “if all the men in your network are in a tax bracket ahead of you.”)
Lastly, this annoys me but it doesn’t really affect me, I don’t date women like this. But women are always asking me where do the good guys hang out and what type of women are we looking for. So this is a bird’s eye view into the way we think, we are not dumb, we can see you. Just as I don’t date women like this, the only type of men who do are dumb. So if you are reading this and you are thinking "damn am I one of these types of women?", and you are single, maybe this blog was written for you.
This past weekend in DC it dawned on me why there are so many women in the club who when not in the club claim they want a man but can’t figure out why these men want to bed them but don’t want to wife them. It’s about what you bring to the table, absolutely nothing but good looks. So therefore the guy is like, okay, I’ll trick for a bit to hit for a bit, but I’m not wifing you down. Am I asking that women buy guy’s drinks? No, not in the least bit, but how about having a drink in your hand before a guy offers to buy you a drink?
The other thing that women should watch is their company. It is not the fault of any woman if her network is composed of mainly high rollers, but it is. Hear me out, you need some men in different tax brackets especially if all the men in your network are in a tax bracket ahead of you. People can only assume you are a gold digger. (Now I know that some women will defend herself to the death, but listen to me carefully as I will repeat, “if all the men in your network are in a tax bracket ahead of you.”)
Lastly, this annoys me but it doesn’t really affect me, I don’t date women like this. But women are always asking me where do the good guys hang out and what type of women are we looking for. So this is a bird’s eye view into the way we think, we are not dumb, we can see you. Just as I don’t date women like this, the only type of men who do are dumb. So if you are reading this and you are thinking "damn am I one of these types of women?", and you are single, maybe this blog was written for you.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
How You Living Dr. J?
I am really excited about the New Year. As an update I’ve just returned to DC after being gone since the 30th of December. I had a great time in NYC and Mexico and now am back at work. With this New Year, do not come any resolutions, but many new solutions to issues I grapple with everyday. Each year, the poem Invictus means a little more to me than the last. This year I plan to really start taking some things into my own hands and I’d recommend you do the same.
Some things of note over the last few weeks that I was unable to blog about;
- There are some hoes out there and do not be fooled. Birds of the same feather flock together. I will no longer believe any chick that tells me her crew is loose but she is not.
- Shoot, I’m tired of telling you people this, “The key to a great sex life is discretion.”
- I will be working harder than ever this year to do big things. I am forewarning you, that there will be blood. I just do not have time to waste with people who ain’t about skit.
- It is so damn cold in DC it’s not even fair. I pray that everyone is keeping warm.
- Do something for someone else for a change. Seriously the $25 you would have spent on something random you didn’t need or drinking your sorrows away, donate that to help someone less fortunate.
- It’s tax season. I hate this time of the year.
- I really hate a certain type of female and I fear there’s not much she can do about it.
- I am working on going to Greece now.
That is all for now. Now let’s enjoy some NFL Playoffs, Big East Basketball, and MLK weekend in DC. Nobody does holidays like the District of Columbia. Notice I did not say DMV. I think it’s time to rid ourselves of that term, because seriously, nothing ever really happens in Maryland and Virginia. Have you ever been invited to something at a club/lounge in MD/VA that was popping? Nope, not never.
Some things of note over the last few weeks that I was unable to blog about;
- There are some hoes out there and do not be fooled. Birds of the same feather flock together. I will no longer believe any chick that tells me her crew is loose but she is not.
- Shoot, I’m tired of telling you people this, “The key to a great sex life is discretion.”
- I will be working harder than ever this year to do big things. I am forewarning you, that there will be blood. I just do not have time to waste with people who ain’t about skit.
- It is so damn cold in DC it’s not even fair. I pray that everyone is keeping warm.
- Do something for someone else for a change. Seriously the $25 you would have spent on something random you didn’t need or drinking your sorrows away, donate that to help someone less fortunate.
- It’s tax season. I hate this time of the year.
- I really hate a certain type of female and I fear there’s not much she can do about it.
- I am working on going to Greece now.
That is all for now. Now let’s enjoy some NFL Playoffs, Big East Basketball, and MLK weekend in DC. Nobody does holidays like the District of Columbia. Notice I did not say DMV. I think it’s time to rid ourselves of that term, because seriously, nothing ever really happens in Maryland and Virginia. Have you ever been invited to something at a club/lounge in MD/VA that was popping? Nope, not never.
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