Basic Broads Out Here Winning

I hope don't none of y'all know this guy, but this go to show you even light skin girls be basic like sh*t.

I’ll keep it real, there’s about as much ghostwriting going on in the blogsphere as there is in hip hop, so it shouldn’t surprise you that I thought about ghostwriting this post and giving it to some female out there to post on her blog.  But then I thought to myself, the people want fire give them fire.  The people want the Ratchet Music Label shit, give them the anthems.  Before I get started I want to say that Most touched on this topic over at his blog The Lower Frequency, when he said, Lames Dudes Out Here Winning.  I liked that post, but I thought that I would borrow his instrumental and do my own piece.  Anyway…

Almost got punched in the face the other day for telling someone that his girl was “a good look” and “a solid 5.”  I didn’t think I was being disrespectful or anything, but what I was saying is that she wasn’t ugly and she held him down.  She was a good girl, she wasn’t the prettiest girl in the room, but she had other things that made up for it.  It’s a lot of women like this out there too, and people sleep on them.

Now I want to define a basic broad for everybody because it’s kind of confusing.  A basic broad doesn’t have anything that really stands out that puts her ahead of the pack at first glance.  In fact, even when you dig deep there’s probably someone who does every thing she does better than she does.  But what makes a basic broad a basic broad is that she scores “basic” on so many categories that it makes her serviceable.  Of course there are all types of broads out there, you have pretty ass broads, ugly broads, and you even have bad ass broads.  Now a bad ass broad, she basically scores high on every category, her only weakness is; she knows she is a bad ass broad.  And as a bad ass broad she makes you work a little more than you want to, just to show you that she’s worth the world.  But a basic broad, no no no, they aren’t that stupid, they know that you could do better, they just want to do what they got to do to keep you around.

Here are some characteristics of basic broads:

Nobody likes a close talker, except for this girl...

Every man has his faults and his pet peeves, and we’ll do just about anything to get our way, for that reason a basic broad succeeds because she’s willing to coddle her man.  A man needs for a woman not to flip out about the fact that he might do some real questionable behavior.  This may come in the form of liking something just the way his mother used to prepare it for him, or maybe he has a character flaw that make him go into complete silence for months on end.  If she flips out a him as some other broads would do, he’ll immediately drop her like a bad habit.

Have you ever looked at a chick and said, “She’s not a looker” and so you wondered, well why is he with her?  It’s because basic broads are undercover freaks.  When you think about it, every dude out there has been involved in some real weird or freaky sex, it had to happen with someone.  I’ll be the first to tell you, I haven’t.  That’s because dime pieces have a tendency to not do what they don’t have to do in the bedroom.  And since that’s all I have ever been with, I can’t comment.  But that’s a basic broads call to fame is her bedroom activity.  She’s willing to go above and beyond to make sure that no stone is left unturned. 

He was in jail for three years, somebody made him a basic broad.

I’m a resident expert at Law & Order.  I’ve seen every episode about six times, (and still continue to watch repeats even when I know I’ve seen it before.)  But anyway, every time a dude gets in trouble and he needs an alibi he asks his girl.  And you can bet your bottom dollar if it’s a bad ass broad, she’s not copping to shit.  If the cop asks her where you were, she replies, “You got pen and paper, I’ll tell you were he’s at right now, where he was last week, I’ll tell you where he’s going when he die.”  Not your basic broad though, your basic broad has no problem telling the police that you were with her last night, or that the gun was hers and not yours.  She’ll even take a bid for you too.

One thing you can count on from a pretty ass chick is that she doesn’t go to you for any type of validation.  So unless you got one of those Ginger shorties from Vegas, chances are you ain’t going to be able to control her every move with a little coke or any other wack shit like love.  You can rely on your basic broad to never change it up too much.  I know men who come home one day and his girl done chopped off his hair, he’s got this look on his face, what in the …  Not those basic broads though.  You see once a basic broad finds something that works, she sticks to it.  She won’t have an ugly stage, neither will she have a fly stage, she’s just going to keep it basic and steady.

She can go head and fix her face, she not serious.

You can ask a basic broad to do something that she doesn’t want to do and then she performs with great attention to detail.  Personally, when you ask me to do something I don’t want to do, I either don’t do it, or I half ass it.  Now a basic broad is different, she knows that, what? … you will drop her ass like a bad habit.  So even though she might hate doing something, she’ll do it anyway because she knows she has to stay in your good graces.  You might have a driver and car outside your crib, but if you tell your basic broad to get on Metro and travel an hour to get to you at 2AM, she’ll do it.  She won’t even bitch about it when she gets to the crib either.  She’ll just laugh and say, “You know you wrong right?”  But she there though…

You ever said something almost completely disrespectful to the point that you were expecting to get in a fight or for your life to end up like Kane on moving day?  If you did that and lived to see the next day it was because you were dealing with a basic broad.  You can’t just tell any woman, “baby you know your ass is too big.”  But if she’s a basic broad, she’ll go change.  Yep, remember in Why Did I Get Married, when he told his wife to drive up instead of flying?  That’s because Jill Scott’s character was a basic broad.

Last but not least this is what a basic broad does best; she blends in.  She blends all the way in like Mystique.  She’s not ever interested in being the prettiest girl in the room, she’s never loud, nor does she ever fall out in the middle of the dance floor.  Your best basic broad convinces everyone that she doesn’t exist.  And you know what?  That’s what makes it real easy for her to get a man and keep a man.  That fool don’t even know he got a girl half the time!  All he knows is that if he needs something he can snap his fingers once or twice and magically a girl appears to take care of all his problems.

That makes basic broads strong, that make basic broads wise, and that makes basic broads the second most likely group of women to get married or in a relationship.  You don’t have any downside to the basic broad, but there’s no upside either, don’t get it twisted.  She’s reliable because you know what you’re getting in her.  Overall, people may say, she’s a 5, but most men know, there’s a lot of shit that comes with those 8-10 females, and the 6s and 7s get taken off the lot quicker than Priuses.  (You never peeped that did you, a Prius is the fastest car off the lot, it ain’t the best joint that Toyota got, but it’s serviceable and it has a great gimmick.)  So sometimes you get stuck with that Camry, but a Camry can do you service for a long time and nobody is mad at you for driving a Camry.

PS – I know what you’re thinking, but in terms of Toyota, the 8-10 would be the Lexus.