Have you ever listened to a couple in an open relationship explain it to people? Your face is always screwed up. I’ll be flat out honest with you, I’ve never believed both people when they explain it. Will and Jada have been explaining their relationship to people for years. Black folk pushed back in their seats trying to figure out if that’s something they could ever do, make it easy on yourself, you can’t. But since like Day 1, I’ve always thought, does anybody remember that Jada is a lesbian? Remember that episode when Tupac came to visit Jada on Different World? As soon as he appeared on the screen just about everybody watching busted out laughing. They knew wasn’t no way that little girl was dating Tupac, she wasn’t into men like “that”.
Anyway, here’s the gist behind open relationships; basically since you never stop being attracted to other people there’s no reason to suppress your inner desires. There’s a chance they’ll come out at any moment, so rather than running from your feelings, you just manage them in a mature manner. Now this was best explained to me by my boy Columbus, “That’s like those guys who swear up and down they not gay, but then his wife come home and catch him with his ass up in the air. No reason for him to be trapped in the closet, just bring your ass out so we can all see you. Not ass first though.” A few things, we call him Columbus because he’s horrible with directions even when holding the GPS. Two, it wasn’t until we had this conversation that I realized that Trapped in the Closet was about more than R. Kelly being trapped in a closet. Point is, when you suppress your real feelings ain’t no telling when they will show their face.
|You should try it. ;)|
|Read: NOT HAPPY|
An open relationship is like Pandora’s Box, or more accurately described as a capitalistic relationship. And we all know that you can’t regulate Capitalism, there’s no way to control chaos. You just have to let it go. One you open your relationship up and you agree not to be monogamous, then you can’t try and regulate free trade. That’s nonsensical. I can see it now, “oh because you dipped out on the relationship on Wednesdays and that’s supposed to be our day, I’m setting up a P*ssy embargo.” Do you logically think that’s going to work? It’s a damn open relationship, the man will just go eff another chick. And you can’t be mad about that? You know why, because he’s allowed to! And please don’t think I haven’t thought about men in this situation who think it’s a good idea to open their relationship up. It’s all fun and games until you slip in a little too easily one time. Yeah, I said that shit. Men need to stop acting like we are not territorial as all hell. The only way someone like Will Smith agrees to let Jada go outside of their relationship is because it’s supposed to be so she can sleep with other women. The second he found out that Marc Anthony was not another woman, he went bat shit. No man wants anyone parking in his garage. None. Not me, not you, not any of us. You ever have a FWB that you keep around for years. (If you are a man, that means a chick that you mess with but you know in your head she really want to be with you. She willing to take a piece of you, rather than nothing at all, so you just give her FWB.) What happens to your ego when you find out she had a man for the last six months that you decided not to talk to her because you were banging some other broad? It shrivels and then all of a sudden she ain’t all that attractive no more. You cannot regulate chaos. Women and men are not able to deal with open relationships like that.
|This is what Babyface was talking about in "Our Feelings"|
|So glad I found this exact picture to put it in perspective.|
As I close, I just want to say, I don’t think that cheating is a wise thing. I just think that if you’re going to cheat, do it like all the rest of us. It’s like when someone drops a mixtape. I can’t respect a hot mixtape like I can a hot album. I want to see that you can do it like all the rest of the people you compete with. Anybody can get someone to listen if it’s free. Anyone can find multiple people to sleep with if it’s allowed. I respect that woman who can get away with it even though it takes hard work and determination. Prison Break would have been a wack TV show if the front gate to the jail was open. It was the fact that it was closed and it wasn’t allowed that made it a great show. Open relationships are like halfway houses, they don’t have any real purpose. Just let the man go, or keep him locked down, you can’t have it both ways.
And then there were three...