Friday, January 28, 2011
Quentin: Yeah, for the last 20 years? I'm just not trying to hear all that stuff, you know? Dealing with complaining-a guests, unions, and payrolls, and all that...
Harper Stewart: Yeah, too much like a real job, huh?
Quentin: You know what, nigga? Fuck you. You're my judge, right? That's your job. You judge me.
Harper Stewart: No, I'm just playing, man...
Quentin: No, nigga, you... it's just amazing how you've always analyzed everybody else's shit and then you don't do the same thing for your own self.
Harper Stewart: Will you chill?
Quentin: No, because you've done dirt too, motherfucker, and you're doing more dirt! That's right. You're fucking Jordan tonight, remember? Jordan. See, you ain't any better than the rest of us, got it? Your shit just ain't caught you yet.
(Source: The Best Man)
Everyone knew this as soon as they got to my blog.
I have been told that in life, I’m Quentin. In reality, I’m actually a lot closer to Lance, but that’s not really important. Anyway, I loved this part of the movie because it’s usually so true. The people who blame you for shit the most are not saints themselves. I never have a problem telling someone they’ve done dirt too, when they try and rise up on me.
Another thing about this passage is that it speaks to something that plagues bloggers. Trust me when I say this, most bloggers do not follow their own relationship advice. They give tons and tons of advice about everything under the Sun, but when it comes down to it, they are still disturbed individuals. Ideally, you’d think that someone who analyzes relationships all the time has their own lives together, but if you do the math. Most bloggers are single, most bloggers are not married, and most of them come across as pessimistic about the dating scene.
Last thing I’ll touch on is how people validate or qualify their “dirt.” Your girlfriends might have told you that you were loose for sleeping with two guys in the same crew. Your excuse was, things moved fast with A, and then you found out you really liked B, but both the relationships ended anyway and A is a real gentleman. That same friend, piped three dudes when you guys were in Vegas for a week and blamed it on “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Next time, one of your friends tries to call you on some shit, throw it back at them.
Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night!
I truly believe that “fuck you” and “good night” should always follow each other. It’s the best way to end a conversation and it’s so on point. I say it to my friends all the time when they accuse me of doing something wild. For example, my boy said, “Why are you on Facebook going through another man’s Facebook page to compare yourself to him? Just because that chick is dating him instead of you, don’t mean nothing. You sad, ain’t you?”
My response, “Fuck you, good night.”
You know what word came after that, but I’m not going to say it here.
Robin: Did you sleep with her?
Harper Stewart: No.
Robin: But you were going to. You wanted to.
Robin: I am so disappointed in you. I know you feel like shit now, but I'm not going to lie to you. You compromised yourself, our relationship, and Lance and Mia's.
Harper Stewart: I know. I know.
Robin: [sighs] I'm glad you told me. At least now I know where I stand with you.
Robin: No. Baby, you know that is not true.
Robin: [Sharply] Don't! I may not be perfect, but I'm strong. I hope you can make this right. The wedding starts soon.
Harper Stewart: How? I've been looking all over for Lance and I can't find him. And even if I was to find him, how am I supposed to convince him to get married?
Robin: I don't know. That's your bag. I have a plane to catch.
Shout out to the Black women who stand beside their man in times of peril. Most men don’t do that, they will drop you in a heartbeat without even thinking about it. I admired Robin for staying with Harper in this time of peril, but I didn’t like the fact that she accepted his proposal in the end. THIS MOVIE SET THE WORSE PRECEDENT IN THE HISTORY OF BLACK MOVIES. Harper got to bang everyone, and I mean everyone. He may have didn’t seal the deal with Jordan, but it was offered. And this was after she already knew he banged Mia. That girl Jordan was … a … hoe. And he still had his main chick in Robin.
Sidenote, who has a bathtub like the one in the movie? I don’t. I can’t see people taking baths together in those in-wall tubs, it just don’t seem to make sense to me. I mean, I’ll do it, if she asks me to. Oh and baths are inherently nasty unless you shower first. Is that weird of me that I have to shower before taking a bath? I can’t sit in my own filth, that’s just too much for me. Plus, I have way too many arguments with people who pee in the shower to ever sit in the bathtub with a girl. In my opinion, when I buy my house I’ll make sure to get one of those official bath tubs like from the first episode of the Game. #seewhatididthere. Let me be clear, I have taken baths with women before. Well, woman and women. Shit happens. Funny story, I was telling some of my brothers the other day. Have you ever been doing something "sexually" and had an epiphany and it bothered you? Like if you're having sex in a bathtub and you're about to let one loose and then you think to yourself, "Wait a minute... how many other... aahhhh!"
Have a good weekend. Do something crazy.
Freshmen … Freshmen.
Life is good. God is good.
Georgetown bar scene, we own the night.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Hal: See, the problem is I'm kinda picky
Tony Robbins: What do you mean, picky?
Hal: Well, for instance, I like 'em real young. Like, did you ever see Paulina in her first "Sports Illustrated" layout?
Tony Robbins: You're looking for a young Paulina type?
Hal: Well, that face, but with better headlights. You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? Heidi Klum's beams would do. And her teeth. Or, ooh, that Britney Spears girl. She's got great knockers. But she's a tad muscular. Uh, actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grill. Like, uh, Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did "Grease 2". But she'd have to be a little smilier than Michelle. Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. You know what I mean. Someone like that.
(Source: Shallow Hall)
I can’t lie, this movie has a good premise, but it won’t work for me. I’m just not big enough to date a really big woman. The funny thing about this movie is that Gwyneth Paltrow makes this movie. The fact that she’s so hot, makes this movie so entertaining. It turns down really slowly once the spell is broken. But I still like the premise of the movie. My takeaway? Work harder to find hot women with great personalities, they do exist.
I remember one time my neighbor told me, “Keep it real, you date pretty women. Not just pretty, but extremely pretty women. I think you like for people to say, “You’re girl is hot.” Give it up, it’s true.”
There are certain movies that I want my son to see. One of them has got to be Wild Things. It just goes to show you that an ugly chick can also be a freak, but don’t pick on her too long or she’ll end up shooting you with a bow and arrow.
Best Lesbian Scene Ever in a movie. The best lesbian scenes come from when the women aren’t really lesbians, but they are bicurious. It gives it more of an edge. In my opinion, Neve Campbell and Denise Richards in Wild Things is only surpassed by Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in Black Swan. Close third would be Ellen and Sharon Stone.
The L Word changed lives man. Showtime.
How do you feel about a man who dresses his woman? I don’t know. I’ve always thought like, I don’t know if you want your girl to be super sexy. Like I know that 95% of most video vixens is just they put themselves together the right way. You can find those bodies and those looks on a few women out here on the struggle. But would you want to teach your woman how to be Rosa Acosta? Nah, because then you know some other man might try and f*ck her. That’s not cool, b. But onto a more realistic level, there are women that you see everyday on your commute to work and you say, “Damn she’s sexy.” But do you want to go home and suggest that your girl wear those types of clothes? What I like to do is to just stand on K Street and Connecticut Ave. in DC. I’m a grown man and I have a job. So I’m not looking for the way chicks look in those emails promoting events that occur from 10PM – 3AM. These women right here in front of me, in the most affluent district in Washington, DC. These are the women I find sexy. If you stand there for long enough, you can learn everything you need to know about how to be sexy.
As a follow up to my New Year’s Resolution to brush my hair everyday and wear hard soled shoes Monday – Thursday, I have broken it only once and that was on the day it was too much snow outside to be playing around. However, I’ve kept up with it. I keep my hair cut so the brushing is easy, and I am dedicated to busting my ass at least once a week to wear hard soled shoes. This morning was no exception. Now I understand why women take such short strides in heels. I slide about 6 feet on the sidewalk before I stopped.
I did it like a G though, some women saw me, so I just yelled out, “FLOCKA!” That’s like African American for “Arriba la Raza.”
Special shoutout to my favorite subtweeter. “Coldstone...”
There’s not really much to say about the State of the Union. Last night, some people might have thought that my tweets were ignorant like I was trying to make a joke or something when this is serious and we should pay attention.
That’s exactly how I feel when the President is making jokes during his State of Union address. There ain’t shit funny about what’s going on in America right now. If the unemployment rate is 9.4% in America, that means in Black America it’s damn there 20%. And if 30% of Americans do not complete high school, then you know that number is damn there 50% for Black America. So again, what’s so funny?
With all that said, Monday is the 31st, so I get paid on Friday.
Life is good. God is good.
PS - Arriba la raza basically means above the race. Now scroll up and read that part again, lol.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I watched this movie last night after I told myself I was going to bed. WIM effed up a lot of people’s night yesterday by sending us a link to this site with this photographers portfolio of all these video vixens. That was cool though. I stayed up late and watched this movie about two hustlers who fell in love. This movie also reminded me of why I need to move to Los Angeles as soon as possible, and why if I live in Los Angeles I refuse to be single. I just wouldn’t make it.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall was on television last night. Have you ever been dumped and then you ex proceeded to get their feelings hurt by the person after you? Or have you ever left a person for another person only to find yourself in a nightmare?
Nikki: When a girl tells you you're not getting any, before you ask, before you even try, you're getting some.
This is funny. But you know what’s really funny, this piece of Dr. J advice. “If a girl tells you she’s not f*cking, ignore that shit.” The funny thing is these quotes basically mean the same thing, and they are right like 90% of the time. It’s like they want to speak it into existence. But I tell you one thing, I’ve chased women who never said this, and didn’t tell me until the end of the night they weren’t going to sleep with me. And you know what I did, I came back for more the next day. But like when a chick was like, “I’m not sleeping with you.” And I didn’t even ask… my entire goal in the interaction was to have sex with her. And as a result I had no intention on anything else, but switching the power dynamic.
I’m going to start writing my next eBook.
Not every man is afraid of marriage or wants to be single until he’s 45. Some men are very much sure they want to be married, but are confused as to who they want to be married to. I think a man struggles with it. And that’s natural. Some people will tell you they have it all figured out, but I’ve seen some of the most wisest and kept together men going through divorces, so all that to say, everyone makes mistakes. I think that some men are struggling with, does he want a trophy wife or does he want a woman who is smarter than him? Like, there’s nothing wrong with a woman who supports her man like Mike Epps and Eva Mendes in the movie, All About the Benjamins; but at the same time some people desire to have relationships like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And you know sometimes a man just hasn’t reached a final answer on that, so they want to get married, pretty soon actually, but they want to make sure they marry the right person so they can do it the right way.
Oh and as an addition, some unsolicited mail. Today, I saw my ex on the train. The last conversation we had let me know that she is always on some high school ish. Yeah, she’s never graduated from college, although attending, so a little is to be expected. Except she’s a year younger than me and she needs to grow up. I’ve told you about this girl before, all that to say, she has a kid right now. And in a conversation we had, she found a way to blame me for that kid. She’s that type! She’s the one who expects you to do things that you would never do because it’s the man thing to do. For example today, I saw her waiting for the train, and in my head, I was wondering how I could get away with not speaking or acknowledging her presence. It would just be awkward. Well … that didn’t work. And I had an open seat next to me, so I could see she was going to come for my seat. After all she probably just dropped her son off at daycare and is tired already. Anyway, as the doors opened from the exit behind me a man with a big puffy jacket in 2011 came and sat down in the free seat. So I looked up at her with this look like, “What do you want me to do?” So she’s smirking at me… as if to say, “You should have told him the seat was taken, or you should jump up from your seat and give that one to me.” I don’t speak to this girl anytime but when I see her, why would I do that? Better yet, how much of an idiot will I look like doing that when she’s not the only woman on this train right now, she’s not even the oldest? She stared me down for one stop and then rolled her eyes and got off at the next stop. I don’t think I was being rude. First of all, 50 Cent rule is in effect, “I might smile and say what’s up, but I don’t f*ck with you.” Second of all, I never hear from you unless you need something, today is a perfect example. Third and last, this should sum up a big reason why we don’t talk … there’s no way she’s going to read this because she doesn’t like computers. Who refers to them shits as computers anymore anyway? “I don’t know how to use computers.” It’s 2011. We’re so different and yes, she still frustrates the hell out of me. I’m allowed.
Life is beautiful.
Guido: What kind of place is this? It's beautiful: Pigeons fly, women fall from the sky! I'm moving here!
(Source: Life is Beautiful)
God is good.
Why did my coworker ask me a day after he offered candy from another country to the office, if I had any? What type of awkward question is that? Am I allowed to say, No because I don’t know where you got that shit from?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Morley Clarkson: Of course I did... but when you ask a girl to marry you, do you want her to just consider it? Or do you want her to just know?
Morley Clarkson: And then there's the whole thing with my parents' horrible...
Reed Bennett: Your parents, wait, hold on, wait a second, just because your parents had a bad divorce doesn't mean that you're going to have a bad divorce. They're not hereditary, it's not like it's contagious.
Morley Clarkson: You're not getting it. You know the first phone call I made after you proposed was to my office, to confirm my ten o'clock meeting..
(Source: Valentine’s Day)
Valentine’s Day is on the horizon.
The quote above reminds me of something else, so before I touch on it, I’d like to share a quote that I’m sure I’ve shared before, but it just reminds me of that.
Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.
(Source: (500) Days of Summer)
Valentine’s Day was not so heavy dialogue and very cliché, but it was worth watching. 500 Days of Summer is probably one of the best movies about a relationship I’ve ever seen. Although, The Break Up still has the best dialogue ever. Those arguments were real, most people watched that movie in awe of the exchanges.
David Duchovny has announced that next season, the sixth season of Californication will be his last. That really sucks because there are so many stories and plots that need to be filled. Either way, it will be a heck of a season and I’m already excited to watch all the last episodes that we have left.
It is so cold. Like, you can’t get nothing done out here it’s so cold. It’s cold that I want to physically harm a small child or animal because I’m frustrated about having to be out in it.
What does it say about a man who doesn’t have any gay friends?
This weekend, my phone decided to nuke itself. For those of you who do not have Blackberry’s, that means, it just decided that it was going to turn off and not turn back on. This happened on Saturday, but saving the fact that my mother was trying to get in contact with me, I really didn’t miss being off the map. In fact, I got a few things done and didn’t mind spending time by myself.
I got in an interesting conversation about things we are too old to do anymore. Mainly, it is the opinion of this court that if you are still a groupie after the age of 25, something is wrong with you. Like, grow up.
And stop cockblocking. There’s just so much of that going on these days it’s ridiculous.
You know what I’d really like to see I’d like to see some real Hoarders or TCAP shows. Like what about those people who horde friends? Ever had a friend who always insists that someone is trying to make his friends their friends? That’s funny to me. I think this happens to women more than men. Because never in the history of man have we ever been possessive of our male friends. I actually saw this one time, but it was real dumb because the dude couldn’t really articulate why he was upset that another one of his friends kept crashing his network. It was hilarious though. He would be at happy hour and then one of his new friends would get a text and say, “Your boy is coming through.” Then he would be like, “Why can’t I have my own friends?! Shit.” (Gotta love the unnecessary shits in life.) Or TCAP, like, what is to be said about dudes who still try and get girls drunk and take them home? Who does that still though? That’s so weird to me when a man who is older than 21 is going at the drunk girl. Dudes who scheme on poon at an older age weird me out. In all reality, you can organically find women to have sex with just about all the time. At least that’s how I feel. But then again, I’m not like everybody else.
Life is good. God is good.
And my Blackberry is fixed, and I finished the morning mail before noon!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Congressman #1: Break it down, Camacho!
President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy, Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING.
My view of politics may be confusing because I am from and live in the District of Columbia. There’s nothing I can do about that. What bothers me the most is when anyone whether they be left or right starts talking about politics off the top of their head. A lot of times people don’t have a clue what they’re talking about, they just talking about something they read on CNN’s ticker. I’ll have to admit that I was a starch supporter of all things Democratic because I thought the GOP was just racist. Until one day I said to myself, I’m going to sit down and read the GOP’s platform. And I sat there and read the whole thing, cover to cover. And you know what, there were some really good points in it. As I began to build my political I.Q. I learned to research how members of Congress vote on policy. This was also an eye opener as I learned that a lot of people who claimed to be so liberal, voted against policies and laws proposed that would have aided in their alleged agenda. This was all like in 2000. The catalyst was a girl on my floor freshman year who told me that Christians are in no place to judge anyone because they’ve never even opened the book of another religion or know what they’re about.
I guess what I want to say is, people inform yourselves before you run into a debate about politics or start ranting. Your passion is good, but if you don’t know what you’re talking about no one can use you in the fight. This isn’t a contest of fanhood, this is politics. My biggest problem with Obama supporters is that they don’t have a clue how politics work anyway. You ask them what they think of Fox News and they say, “It’s the devil” but they’ve watched every Youtube video of Obama ever. THOSE SAME PEOPLE claim to know what the GOP thinks. That’s why I watch Huckabee, because I need to see what this crazy man has to say, so I can address it. (On the low, if the election was held TODAY, Huckabee would have won.) I had to stop a group of people the other day and ask them, “Hey, do you actually know what the Tea Party believes in?” Not Sarah Palin, but the party as a whole. The person said something similar to when Christians refute everything not Christian as “devil worshipping.”
We live in a world of choosing sides, that’s fine. But then the passion makes people look stupid. At the same time that we are saving the auto industry, are we saving agriculture? Allegedly, our constitution says that we have freedom of religion. Well, then there are these things like gay marriage and abortion. In my opinion, I have my personal views, but if someone’s religion says they don’t believe in that. That’s fine! They’re allowed. If they aren’t allowed to speak against that stuff, then our Constitution needs to be amended to say, “Freedom of religion, provided you don’t mind gays settling down, and you believe in a woman’s right to choose, and it would be nice if you let us teach evolution in school, but everything else is cool.”
It’s like my boy says, “You can tell a lot about a country based on the languages they speak. Americans don’t know shit but English.” People believe in freedom, but only their opinion of what freedom is.
Also, I don’t take people seriously who spend most of their time talking about Obama and Capitol Hill, but don’t have a clue what’s going on in their local political setting. That’s how the changes are made, at that level. You can talk about Obama until your blue in the face, but he doesn’t make decisions that affect you on a daily basis. Your city council, your school board, your local officials make those decisions that affect you daily.
I can go on for hours about this.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s not about winning and losing on Capitol Hill. The guy I voted for promised change. I didn’t agree with the steamrolling that was done by the Democrats, so I wasn’t surprised or upset about the outcome of the midterm elections. I have been in DC long enough to know that nothing productive happens because every 8 years we just switch pace and direction. We have to meet in the middle.
Next week I’ll touch on why I think our country is inherently Socialist, maybe I will, I probably won’t. I don’t really like talking about politics because I hate when idiots show up to talk.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
(Source: Vanilla Sky)
Have you ever had a dream that didn’t make any sense to you? I have a recurring dream that always bothers me to this day. I’m sure many of you will try and diagnose it, but trust me I’ve seen several people already about it.
I have this dream that I’m at this huge indoor/outdoor party. I’m there with my best friends and all of my exes are there. It’s almost like a rave because I go in and out of hanging out with them. At a certain point of the night, I start trying to convince my friends to leave with me. Almost like there’s another party going on. However, all of them keep asking me why I want to leave. Anyway, my oldest friend comes with me, or so I thought, but when we get to the station where the free drinks are, he decides to stay. So I walk back inside and out to the lobby where I see my last ex again, and I tell her to come with. She looks at me with this blank stare. LOL. Classic blank stare. And then it seems like the crowd is pushing towards the door, I reach out to grab her to come with me, but I can’t reach her. Almost like a stampede I’m forced outside, but as soon as the door opens all I see is bright lights and then flashes and I can hear cameras shuttering. I look around for anyone I know, but I don’t know anyone and everyone who is talking to me is speaking a different language than any I understand really well.
Is that a dream or nightmare?
What does it mean when certain people show up in your dreams? Do you follow up with them? I’ve read books of people who keep diaries of their dreams. Keeping a journal next to your bed and when you wake up, jotting down everything you remember. It was weird as they started to notice that there was some prophetic nature to their dreams. I’m fascinated with dreams. The oddest thing is I have the most epic dreams ever. Ok, it’s not the PCP people! I think it’s what contributes to me not being a morning person, it seems that my alarm interrupts my dreams and then I’m upset and go back to sleeping.
And what does it mean when someone appears in your nightmares? I had a series of nightmares for a long time where I was trying to save someone who would do the dumbest things and make me risk life and limb to save them only to end up worse off than before. This of course all ended one day when I had a dream that I saw them and didn’t care either way. The dream bothered me a lot, like I wondered was I becoming cold-blooded. At the time of my life, I was. Intentionally, but it was working. I had the same dream for a few days pondering what it meant, it wasn’t until a cold summer night I was walking home and See You In My Nightmares came on my iPod, and it made perfect sense. I had always said a previous situation I allowed myself to be a part of paralleled 808s and Heartbreak. I swear that time of my life was like a fever.
Anyway, who said this would be personal Tuesdays? Here’s some other questions:
Have you ever been laying in bed with one person and dreaming about another?
Have you ever had a dream about a future point in your life? I once had a dream about my son running across the sanctuary and my wife going to pick him up and take him out to avoid an disruption. I followed her, but couldn’t find her. I just wanted to see her face, but I couldn’t. And for a long time, I thought it was one girl that I was dating at the time, but it turns out it was the next, and now I’m not with either so who knows what that means.
Have you ever had a dream and then it came true? Have you ever truly experienced Déjà vu? Real talk, this happens to me all the time. Like ALL THE TIME.
Lastly, have you ever been so convinced that a dream was real? I’ve had instances where I would swear to a person that they said something or did something that definitely never happened. Or, you wake up angry at someone for something that happened in your dream? Yeah, that’s crazy.
Life is good. God is good.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Gary: Why didn't you just say that to me"
Brooke: I tried. I've tried.
Gary: Never like that, you might have said some things that meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader...
Brooke: It wouldn't matter you are who you are. Just leave me alone ok? Right now, just shut my door.
Brooke: Alright Gary just please, just leave the room. Gary just... I don't want to be near you right now, please just shut the door, please.
(Source: The Break Up)
I still think that Brooke was the reason this didn’t work out. She spent 75% of this movie talking about how she wanted him to just realize that he needed to make some changes in their relationship. Her solution was to break up with him and then put him through a bunch of twisted little games. In the mind of a man, mainly because we see things as black and white, he thought they were broken up. The takeaway, don’t play games, don’t sabotage your relationship to show your partner something about themselves.
What is to be said of women who just cheer for the other team because they think that’s an indirect way of flirting with you? I don’t expect women to like sports, I don’t expect them to know anything about football or basketball outside of knowing the basics like; who’s playing and how teams score. What bothers me is when someone is trying to be cool and they say, “Oh who are you cheering for? The Lakers? Okay, I’ll cheer for the Thunder.” Then they get mad when you ignore them for the rest of the game.
People in NYC swear people in DC are weird and incompetent, people in DC think people in NYC are too radical and wishy washy. Who knows if we’ll ever come to a consensus? I’ve spent considerable amounts of time in both places and I don’t think either has an argument. The thing is we’re different, but that doesn’t make one better or worse. NYC maybe the fashion capital or the money capital of the world, but the governing body of the entire free world sits in Washington, DC. Depending on how you see things, you can say either or.
My last point, when people say that people in DC can’t drive, it’s completely nonsensical. 1) Most people in DC who are driving aren’t from DC, so you’re not talking about anyone who is from here. 1b) Because you have so many driving styles in one city, you’re destined to have a mess, 2) No city in which insurance companies have declared it a “no-fault” city can talk about anyone else and their driving habits.
Is there anything more annoying than hugging someone and coming away with a collar full of makeup?
What is to be said about those women who approach men in nightclubs? I guess that solves that.
There was a cheerleader in the Pitt-Cuse game last night… oooh wee.
Would anyone be interested in me posting a recipe or something I cooked recently every week? I was thinking that once a week I would do a day where I talk about something I cooked and give a recipe or some cooking tips.
Geoffrey was killing them on Fresh Prince. Dude was on the low stealing the show on the regular.
Another reason why Hank Moody is the man… so if you’re following he’s been arrested for statutory rape, he’s going to get off though. Real talk, this chick trapped him, f*cked him, punched him and then stole his book idea. Anyway, that girl was 16 and his ex-wife was her father. In the end, he took his ex-wife back from her fiancé, that girl’s father. So that dude has to sleep with this, Hank stole his woman and f*cked his daughter. And that burns…
Smash and bang!
Life is good. God is good.
Friday, January 14, 2011
“I really love you, but we’re not right for each other...”
Sometimes you have the realization that two people just aren’t right for each other. I find that a lot of power couples run into this breakup scenario a lot. Two Type-A people cannot be together, and sometimes the statistics of your relationship just aren’t enough to keep you together. Go back and listen to Babyface – Our Feelings, (“Jesus take the wheel, I’m dating myself again.”). And sometimes, the personalities are just not right for each other.
“We’re going in two opposite directions...”
If I hear about one more professional woman who is dating a DJ, I think I’ll scream. But really, sometimes careers are just not compatible. He may work too much and she works freelance so she can pick her schedule. And sometimes the distance becomes too overwhelming. He’s lives in LA and she lives in NY. It’s hard enough to make a relationship work in the same city, two can be impossible.
“I just want to be single...”
I once came to a point in my life when I just wanted to be single again. I wasn’t dating a bad girl, but I felt like being attached to someone was just not for me. I felt bad because when you are being relied and depended on, you should want those things instead of having to force yourself to want them. You start feeling like hanging out with your girlfriend is a chore, chances are you just want to rock it solo.
“Sometimes you come to a point in life, where you have no choice but to part ways...”
There are these things called life changing experiences that almost always end in a breakup. For example, an engagement, after the engagement is broken most couples have to call it quits altogether. The emotional baggage of someone calling off a wedding is just too much to continue.
“All we do is fight...”
You ever felt like all you did with your significant other was fight and argue. Well when you start to feel like everyday there will be a fight, you know that you are just losing the energy to keep coming back for more, it’s time to call it quits.
“I left like a thief in the night...”
No one wants to know that they caused someone to feel like they couldn’t even have a conversation about leaving them, they just had to go. And it’s hard on the other side too, as you have to plan your escape without being noticed.
“Please lose my number...”
I was dating this chick one time and it got to the point where I was convinced that she was completely crazed and possessed. You know how a guy says, “I don’t take off my shirt because I have a nice body, I do it because it’s the only move I have left.” Her motto was, “I don’t cry because my feelings are hurt, I do it because it’s the only move I have left.” I deleted her from BBM and gmail, we haven’t spoken or seen each other since.
“No really, all we do is fight...”
I heard a crazy story the other day where a chick seen her boyfriend’s text messages and flipped out. His response? He proceeded to beat her like cake batter. Wait… Well, in that case, it’s time that you throw the #deuces, no pun intended. But there’s no reason why a man or woman should have to catch a jab to the face because they want to watch football, instead of Say Yes To The Dress.
I’d like to make an amendment here to this one to include causing harm to one another. If you are dealing with a dude and he gives you Chlamydia, and you go get tested and treated… and then he gives you Chlamydia AGAIN… throw him the peace signs. I wish people would stop believing when their sexual partner says, “You’re the only one I do this with.”
So there you have it, that’ show Dr. J sees breakups. I’m making light of a serious situation, I know. And if you are going through a breakup right now, I wish you the best. Moreover, if you know you need to break up, I pray for you wisdom and courage.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Matt: [patiently] And two?
Ryan: Two - are you out of your fucking mind? You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich! You think you can go 40 days? Four... Do... This isn't normal. Did your brother put you up to this or something?
Matt: No. You know what? He's about as supportive as you are. And what do you care, anyway? This doesn't affect you in any way.
Ryan: You... This affects everyone.
Mandy: [Mandy describes to Matt the importance of women's power of abstinence] Women have been doing this since, well, forever, so we know all about the power. See, us having the power, that's part of the system, and by you taking the power, you're fucking with the system. And I think you see why we can't let that happen.
(Source: 40 Days and 40 Nights)
How much do you like to have sex when you’re in a relationship? Like, once a day, twice a day, three times a week, every so often? People get in relationships and just straight up stop having sex. People move in together and start to get focused on everything but sex. It’s really weird to me. You would think that now that you’re in the same place you would be like rabbits. Kids Know My Name by Dr. J, if you asked me.
And when you have sex, what turns you on the most about sex? A lot of people like to get a nut, but what about the other people who like to see another person get a nut? I think it’s tragic when women talk about not getting theirs every time. That’s not right.
I’ll give you some advice on keeping your relationship or just the person you dealing with happy. Have sex with them as often as possible.
I dated a chick who told me that she wasn’t all that into sex, didn’t need to have it everyday. That shit led to me drinking too much. I’m not even joking. I wonder what women who feel like that do when their man wants sex all the time. At night sometimes I lay in bed and I think, “What about all those women who are having sex right now and really don’t want to be having sex right now?” It’s funny to me how some women treat sex like it’s their job. It’s not funny, it’s attractive.
At the same time that I was writing this post I realized that it’s starting to bother me that I think about Kobe so frequently in the day. But does Vanessa have sex with Kobe every night? Like after a game. That must suck when he loses. I meant, hurt. What about after a road trip? That’s what sucks about dating an athlete right there. You have to bone him when you know he’s been boning some other chick. And if he rolls with Tiger, that means he prefers his women “rare.” Vanessa probably just be waiting at the door to see what Kobe bought her after a road trip. But on the real, he met her in high school, she’s probably into everything Kobe has told her to be into.
Random fact that I haven’t shared before. In the past three years I’ve been a life coach to eight people. Out of the eight, two were told that I would no longer be helping them because they don’t listen and they lie. The other six are all in relationships, one is engaged.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
"And that's the truest shit I could ever had written. Cause these niggas in Mobb Deep is little kids. When I was in jail, when they came out with that song, when they was like, "Thug Life, we still livin' it"... you know in that song that they have. I took it as a dis'. So from jail, I'm calling my lil' homies in Atlanta and was like, "yo, they got a show out there, get with them bustas". So my homeboys roll and was like, "what's up?", them niggas cowards. In the car looking forward like they didn't see my homboys going, "Thug Life muthafucka, what's poppin?". You know what I mean? So I hate niggas like that. And these is some young bustas who gettin' souped up by they block to come up against a muthafucka they don't even know. Mobb Deep, you know like I know I'll swallow them. Now if this was somebody I could fuck with, would I tell you? but Mobb Deep, I'll swallow them niggas. I would have a train on them niggas. You know what I mean? One of them niggas got sickle-cell, he barely breathing. He don't even want to see me. He would have a fuckin' seizure. They both weigh like 100 pounds, my lil homies is attackin' them. That's why I'm not even addressing the Mobb Deep issue. They're not even on my level. I find it disrespectful that they would even think they can attack me or the West Coast. So I don't even address those busta ass babies, and PLEASE print that.
Because it is on and poppin'. And when I say it's on and poppin', I mean when I see them niggas in the spot, it is on and poppin'. I'm not one of them fake diss record writing muthafuckas. Only time I won't rush a muthafucka, is because he straight up told me, he got respect for me, he don't want no drama. Because I ain't no bully. I'm not just gonna beat no muthafucka up because the crowd want to see it. If you don't see me rushin' them, that's because they Bowed Down.
Now them Mobb Deep fools they don't want it.. Chino XL, Mobb Deep , Bad Boy, Biggie , Lil Ceasar, Junior Mafia all of them is on our hitlist and I'm getting with them with my new click called The OUTLAWZ. It's some Jersey dudes who are keeping that east coast flava poppin'. It's some west coast dudes, southern dudes. It's the epitome of what I represent. you know what I mean?"
If Tupac was alive today, it would be unfathomable.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Hank: People… they don’t write anymore – they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.
Watching Californication makes me want to move to Los Angeles like tomorrow. It’s amazing how in California, you can do nothing and still have fun and get mad chicks. To date, people who sleep on Californication need help, that show is hilarious.
For my male readers: Watch the first episode from this season on your DVR tonight, or leave work early and go watch that. There is something so epic in that episode. Please believe me!
The Lakers beat the Knicks. Is anybody surprised by that? It doesn’t make much sense to be surprised, I mean, they were supposed to beat the Knicks, that’s what happened.
I felt really bad for Michael Vick yesterday, but I was glad he didn’t throw David Akers under the bus. Don’t get it twisted though, that was Michael Vick in that game this weekend. And I didn’t bring this up since everybody was on his nuts, but he threw Kevin Kolb under the bus to get that starting job.
Some people don’t make any damn sense when they talk and it annoys the hell out of me. It’s one thing to disagree, it’s another thing to be legitimately dumb. Have you ever talked to someone and they didn’t make any sense to the point where you were shocked at their stupidity? You can’t say anything, so you just have to let them keep on keeping on.
I don’t think that LeBron is a villain, but I don’t think people like him anymore. I mean, at the end of the day going to Miami was a real bitch move. (Sort of like, how Georgetown won’t release these tickets for the Syracuse game in a few weeks.) I don’t know why people are still so upset with Kobe. A lot of it goes back to things that women don’t even care about anyway; white groupies, the cold, and wooden chairs. I don’t know any women who like wooden chairs, they’re just uncomfortable. What really trips me out is people who love Magic, but hate Kobe. That’s got to be weird. I’m a Laker fan so I can say this… Magic had that press conference and told America that he had contracted HIV. Magic was raw dogging these hoes at an all-time bat out of hell rate. Think about THIS, he tested positive after being tested. Think about all those women he was raw dogging at the time, they never mentioned them out of respect for Cookie. Think about that. Then think about if you still care that Kobe had sex with that white girl, who had two other men’s fluids inside of her. Think about that Magic stuff. And don’t even forget about AC Green and the fact that he was 38 years old and a virgin, and Magic’s roommate on the road. And then Magic came up with the monster and AC Green disappeared and allegedly started having sex with women. That shit don’t make no sense. Like at all.
Yes, this is the beginning of when I tell you that Kobe will never be as great as Michael, but he will be the clear #2 when it’s all said and done.
“Rehab is for quitters.” – Hank Moody
Life is Good. God is Good.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Gina: What are you talking about, Reggie?
Reggie: There was some kind of diamond heist near the beach today, right? Bucum, chasing me. I'm running. I accidentally hid in the back of the damn crooks' van.
Gina: A diamond heist, Reggie?
Reggie: Then they tried to kill me.
Gina: So, what happened after that? How did you escape?
Reggie: How did I escape? You know how I escaped. I fought my way up out of there.
[wildly hitting at the air]
Reggie: I hit about five dudes, knocked about three bitches down. You know I don't play, Gina.
Gina: Baby, you can't fight.
Reggie: Who can't fight? I was knockin'. I hit this one dude. He ran up on me. I was like, "Mmm!" [wildly hitting at the air]
Reggie: He hit me in the head twice. And I did... Look. And I grabbed. And then he hit me one more time. You can't tell me. See, I'm nervous and paranoid, man.
(Source: All About the Benjamins)
I’m at SingleBlackMale.org today, check me out here.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Ebony: What did she say?
Dollar Bill: Baby, them white bitches looked that white man dead in the eye and told him, "Fuck that. Pay me!" Ha ha! That's why I get 30 percent.
Ebony: When can I start?
Dollar Bill: Immedjately.
(Source: The Player’s Club)
And that right there, this shit right here, is why Kim Kardashian is a smart ass woman.
I swear to you right now, I had an epiphany about plastic surgery… this has nothing to do with Kim K. either. Wait until Black people can afford that joint on the regular! See Black people used to be teasing white people for their parties and their club activities of going out and just getting wasted. That was because we was spending $3 on a pack of Black & Milds, $1.25 on a 40 of O.E. (Chicks got the Mystic for $2.25 – Peep that Black women’s drinks always been more expensive!), and recording the Hot 7 and 7 on cassette tape and having house parties. We was broke. Now that we got money, man we in the club more than white people. Now think about coke. Black people outside of like Rick James and Richard Pryor was too broke to afford that shit, so they never did it. Nowadays, shoooooot, you can’t go nowhere and not see some Black people coked out of their mind. Kid Cudi… Kanye West… Rick Ross… all your friends that be in the club until 5AM just standing there without any ill effects.
When Black people can afford breast augmentation on the reg, watch what happens. Ain’t gonna be no more Black women out here with fat asses and no breasts, they gonna get that fixed. And actually every Black woman is going to get a fat ass just be normal or something. Or maybe, just maybe, Black women will get ass reductions to start a new trend or something, because they are trend setters. But I tell you one thing, Black women are going to get nice legs, lipo and get rid of them I eat fried chicken on the reg guts they be having. Soon as they can afford it. You know how many baby mothers pray they could get a tummy tuck EVERY DAMN DAY?! Wait until Black people can afford plastic surgery all this talk about Coco and Heidi Montag is going to go right out the door, trust me on dat.
Is it plastic surgery if you take stomach fat and put it in your ass? Around here we call that recycling.
Smokey: Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen...
That line gets me every time.
Happy Founder’s Day to the Kappas. They still stealing our hoes, I mean, women.
I find myself in the moodiest of moods on Wednesday.
Looks like my Niners have hired a General Manager. Shut up Vernon.
The Lakers won last night, the Syracuse Orange could beat the Detroit Pistons, but that’s neither here nor there.
I still believe deep inside that the reason Waka Flocka is the hottest emcee in the game is because he speaks to a part of us that we know exists. Maybe we should stop ignoring it. While I’m on the subject of hip hop, this Trina and Lola Luv bond is awkward to me. NOBODY ever thought Trina was a good rapper, she was just good to look at, and you know she probably slept her way to a deal. I can see the irony in her putting Lola Luv on. I’ve met Lola she’s actually a real person. I just wish she would go back to modeling and doing music videos. I would tell her that to her face too.
Think about this, MLK day is coming up. You know that DC does this better than anyone in de world. You should buy a ticket, heck buy two tickets and bring a friend.
Here’s a secret that most women need to know about Facebook. You want to know why he didn’t ever message you after you became friends on Facebook. (People believe that all dating is predicated off Facebook connections nowadays.) Because when a man becomes friends with you on Facebook, he goes STRAIGHT for the Spring Break or vacation pictures of you in a bathing suit. If you don’t have any pictures showing some skin, he thinks things.
As a man, let me tell you what I look for:
- Spring Break pictures
- Mutual Friends
- Does your weight fluctuate?
- You better have pictures with you and another dude in a relationship or hugging or something because if not, I’m going to think you’d never put up those pictures just to keep your pimp hustle clean.
- Who are your friends?
Life is good. God is good.
Question: If you found out that Heaven was going to be boring and there was no bar and you had to listen to hymns for the rest of eternity, would you elect to go to Hell. Now, Hell is a non-stop party, there’s a bar and various different stages where all your popular DJs can be seen spinning. It looks like Rehab in Vegas. And Heaven looks like a retirement home. What would you do? (I’m going to blog about this, so don’t steal my shit.) But let me see your answer.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
(Source: When Harry Met Sally)
Do you think there’s a time limit on falling in love? We all have friends who fall in love too quickly, but some people fall in love because they’ve met a really perfect match for them. Do you think there’s a time limit on falling in love? Probably not, but I don’t know if you should say it too early.
Sex, when is too early to have it? Let me go dig up this gchat conversation…
Amina: What's a respectable amount of time for a girl our age to wait to have sex? Back in the day it used to be like 3 to 4 weeks. Lol but that was in college where u was in someone’s face everyday for 21 days. I've talked to dudes recently who say that anything after the first day is cool now lol. What are your thoughts?
Amina: I think its 14 days of hanging out. Not nec. consecutively
Amina: Lol. Idk I think that's reasonable
me: I'm trying to catch a bus. Hold on.
me: Well I think you should do it whenever you feel comfortable. If you believe in love at first sight or under certain circumstances the first date is fine. Just don't make it easy.
Amina: Yeah I mean I pretty much always feel comfortable lol. BUT its better to wait
Me: Like if he says send me a pic. And you smash the next time. Hoe, no whore. I think you have to focus on the other thing. The real question is what makes you comfortable.
If I get pregnant or is he clean?
Short term or long term outlook here.
Amina: True true
me: Time is almost irrelevant. Like what if its long distance and you talk all the time for months? Amina: Yeah but the only reason it might be is to check for consistency.
me: Build a bond. Then he comes to visit or you go visit. If you've already established that romantic bond. You can have sex.
me: Consistency. That's key.
Amina: It really is. I've learned my lesson with a popping in and out ass fool.
Natalie Portman is still a sexy animal.
I'm sorry but if you are over the age of 21, you cannot be on the train listening to go-go so loud that I can hear it through your headphones.
Does anybody else find the intro to Two and Half Men to be extremely disturbing?
Harry Burns: It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.
(Source: When Harry Met Sally)
Life is good. God is good.
Monday, January 3, 2011
(Source: Love, Happens)
Love, Happens is a great movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought the story was tragic, but also it was one that we can take a lot away from. Mainly, thinking about the fact that the main character had his own demons with which he battled, but chose to spend most of his time helping others deal with theirs. I know that many relationship bloggers are the exact same way. I tell people to stay talking to, or stop putting themselves in positions all the time, that I haven’t convinced myself to stay out of. This is why I’ll always caveat my messages by saying, “Listen we wouldn’t be here, if we weren’t here, because we all know that these things happen.”
Also, saw Up In The Air. I think this movie is the male version of, “Devil Wears Prada.” Same concept, same outcome.
Gale: Looks like we've got a serial killer on our hands!
Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley: Well, a "serial killer" is not really accurate. Gotta knock off a couple more to get that title.
Gale: Well, we can help, can't we? I mean, we certainly don't have any leads. Have you located Sidney's father yet?
Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley: No, not yet.
Gale: Well, he's not a suspect, is he?
Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley: We haven't ruled him out as a possibility.
[He becomes aware that he is gazing too long at her eyes]
Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley: If you'll excuse me.
[Dewey turns away, but Gale pursues and grabs his arm]
Gale: I'm sorry, am I keeping you?
Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley: [Turning back to her, he removes his hat] If I may say so, Miss Weathers, you are much prettier in person.
[He gives her a flirty smile and turns away again to run up the school steps]
Gale: [delighted] So you do watch the show!
[Dewey stops and turns back]
Deputy Dwight "Dewey" Riley: I'm 25. I was 24 for a whole year.
So I read this in an article over the weekend,
During the long on-air chat with Howard Stern on his radio show Wednesday, Arquette, 39, said that his psychologist, whom he sees once a week, believes he's having a "nervous breakdown."
"I've been drinking a lot," said Arquette. "[But I don't] want to go into all that, because it's really a personal, traumatic thing."
He added: "[Courteney] said she doesn't want to be my mother. I kind of need a mother right now. I need a girl to come bring me some soup and make sure I'm all right. I like that, and I take care of my ladies, too."
(Source: People Magazine)
A lot of people use alcohol to chase away their problems. This guy broke up with his wife and is in a downward spiral. Everybody has been there before. If someone tells you they have never had a spiral in their life, they’re lying, don’t trust anything else they say to you. Pray for David though.
Ke$ha scares me.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No wonder so many beautiful people have low self-esteem.
Finding out a man you've been sleeping with is now engaged is like getting laid off. Nothing you can do, just don't make a scene.
You can always tell a man’s mistress at his funeral. But at that point, he doesn’t care.
I’m done… lol.
Life is good. God is good.
Oh and Happy New Year.
Was I the only one who saw Black Swan and kept saying to himself, "Damn Natalie, you'a crazy bitch."