Friday, March 27, 2009
There are a few way these things can end up for you:
(1) Someone is going to catch feelings. And when they do, they may not even inform you. But don’t front player, that ish is coming out sooner or later. And I got my money on at the worst time ever. For example, at happy hour you are talking about how you are happy to be single because you are free to go where you please with a group of friends. Your FwB storms out the room to the bathroom and returns with red and watery eyes talking about she has to go.
(2) You’re going to catch feelings. And when you do, damn homie… in high school you was the man homie. Imagine a conversation like this:
Bliggity: Yeah, so I think I’m starting to feel this chick.
Rod: Whoa man, you said, y’all was just f*cking.
Bliggity: Don’t you think I know what I said.
Rod: I’m just saying man, you over here talking about, “I think I love this girl.”
Bliggity: No I’m not. I’m just saying, I’m starting to feel the chick.
Rod: Of course you know this means that she just went from a chick you’re beating, to “the” chick you’re beating.
Bliggity: This why I don’t tell you nothing.
If there is anything worse than a guy who wants nothing to do with a chick who catches feelings, it’s a chick who wants nothing to do with a guy who catches feelings. Know your role and stay in your lane, chief. The best thing for you to do in the situation is wait a little while longer for her to catch feelings and if she doesn’t just step off.
(3) A misunderstanding of the rules because you have no expectation to set them.
Nakita: I want to talk to you about something.
X: Yeah, what’s good?
Nakita: Are you messing with somebody else?
X: Um.. why is that important?
Nakita: Because if we’re going to be messing, you can’t be messing with anybody else?
X: [hangs up the phone]
Ain’t it crazy when a chick who doesn’t want to be in a relationship wants to prevent you from finding a situation that works better for you?
(4) MY PERSONAL FAVORITE. When she realizes that she’s catching feelings and it’s not what she wants to do, she backs off. Then the guy is like, “I do not have feelings, so I’m not sure what’s going on. She said she doesn’t want to catch feelings, and I have not caught any feelings, and so I’m not sure why she’s leaving if we’re still on the same page.” I have no advice, I haven’t figured it out either.
(5) Someone gets in a real relationship. Damn Gina.
a. The real funny thing about this situation is, she’s going to introduce her FwB to her new boyfriend as just a friend. And I’m still trying to figure out if it’s better to be the dude who’s got the girl, and she only goes to that other dude for a fix, or the guy who is meeting the guy who now has the girl on a full-time basis and occasionally is summoned to hit it, NSA (no strings attached). Trifling ass broads.
i. This is why I always assume that a girl that I’m talking to has slept with all her male friends unless they’re gay. And even then, I’m still a little suspecting. LOL.
(6) Someone doesn’t want to be in a FwB situation anymore, they want a relationship, just not with you. Damn Gina. That’s what your ass gets for messing with someone on a level that they don’t respect you as relationship material, Real Talk.
See the big issue here is the lack of requirement of communication. It’s not really like you have to talk about feelings, and so you don’t. Besides, who likes talking about feelings anyway. As much as people think that women always catch feelings, men are very territorial. So while he may not want to wife her down, he wants to be able to have her when he wants her and doesn’t really want anyone else to have her.
Here are the basic ground rules, in my personal, unsolicited opinion of FwB:
(1) Honesty is expected.
(2) If question is asked it must be answered. Don’t be an idiot and ask questions that you really don’t want the answers to.
(3) Periodically an honest conversation should occur about whether the person would like to be in a relationship. Not necessarily with one another, but just in general.
(4) Don’t be so sensitive. (I know I am just as guilty as the next guy on this one, I’m just saying lmao.)
(5) Understand that everyone has feelings.
(6) Most IMPORTANT rule of life: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. If you are thinking about doing something, think to yourself, “Would I be upset if she did this to me?” or “Since I’m going to do it anyway, how do I prepare myself for her to do it back to me?”
Lastly, and most importantly never ever… EVER confuse FwB with someone you’re just having sex with. But that’s another blog for another day. And after the summer/winter of the side piece is over, next week expect a blog on that too. You are not ready, Aye!
1. Ladies, ladies, ladies… please tell your no ass having friend to stop wearing the fake leather tights. Es no bueno. If you don’t have the body, just get you a pair of contoured jeans and call it a day.
2. Hooker boots at work. If you look like you work on L Street NW, go home. Like seriously boo boo, you do not need to look like you are in pain when walking. And if I cringe when I see you, I know you feet are like, “eff you first and foremost!”
3. I’ll write this off to ignorance, but I despise when women do not understand why the waist line is raised in their article of clothing. They go out the house looking like they are wearing maternity clothes. If you are short, a high waist dress, is just not a good look. You look like Princess Mushroom.
4. VELVET. No Velvet outfits. Es no bueno Michelle Obama, I’m talking to you too. A man should wear clothing that makes women want to touch. Women should not do the same.
5. Large Handbags that you cannot find anything you need in. If you are going to the have a huge Michael Kors bag, please be able to find your keys, phone and a PEN without having to stop and put the damn thing on the table. And do not take that bag in the club.
6. I’m only including this because it’s not hers, but it’s on her. Do not have layers of your hair, a complete different color than the rest of your head baby girl. If your hair is jet black, why is your back layer platinum blonde?!
7. If you have any blouses that have see-thru or sheer sleeves, please throw them away.
8. Christian Louboutin heels when the bottom of them is black. If the red paint is gone, it’s time to stop wearing them. No no no NO EXCEPTIONS.
9. If you wear anything that Teyana Taylor or Lil’ Ma would wear… shoot yourself and save us the trouble.
10. The inappropriate use of underwear. Underwear are to be worn, not seen. But don’t be a ho. I don’t want to see your panty line through your pants, I don’t want to see your thong string above your waist line. Listen to me, it’s okay to go without. Actually with jeans, there is really no point in wearing underwear. However, I don’t want to give you a hug and notice that you don’t have any on either. I mean, just think about the message that’s sending. Moreover, you shouldn’t be wearing any fabric that is that thin anyway if you plan on being touched or grazed. (The only exception here is with tights)
a. While I’m on the subject, don’t just wear tights and a tiny tee shirt and go to the club, you look like a ho. If that’s the look you’re going for, well proceed as planned, but I’m just saying. NO ED HARDY tees and tights, super ho alert.
Now y’all know, it’s about to be spring time and a lot of you think it’s okay to break out the white pants and shoes… FALSE. Please wait until Memorial Day.
(Source: Boiler Room)
Nothing in this world is easy, you will have to work for it. And if you don’t you won’t love it as much when you get it.
Life is about being the first to complain. You ever been in a room that was too cold and you are wondering why the A/C is on in the middle of the winter. You go ask the building staff to turn up the heat and they inform you that others have been complaining that it was too hot so they turned up the heat in the room. You find out later that it was one lady who has on too many clothes and is only thinking about herself.
The two questions of the week are: “Based on what?” and “Who cares though?”
Remaining stealth in 2009 suffered a small dent. However, I have resumed the status and continue to move too fast, but y’all just too slow.
The stanky leg is not a song about dirty d*ck. (I feel uncomfortable saying that word)
I downloaded the Lonely Island – Incredibad, it was a pretty good album I must admit. Lyrically these guys are sneaky. They find a way to come across as corny, but they are really speaking the truth about hip hop/rap. It’s satire at its best.
Thanks to Radio, I now have the new Jim Jones album.
I had a weird dream last night. It was very indicative of the times and my thoughts about the youth. I was on a school bus and the mid section of the bus was separated with a glass separating the back seat from the front few seats. As the children were starting to get rowdy, two of the children started having sex on the bus. Like right in front of everyone… it was very weird.
I have this funny feeling that T.I. isn’t going to jail.
I have this thing about women with broad shoulders. It’s very funny. I remember being at happy hour with my friend and I was like, I’m going to talk to the bartender, and she was like, no she’s a lesbian. And I was like I don’t care. She was like, but she looks like a boy, and I was like no she looks athletic.
So yes, Michelle Rodriguez can get it. And Ellen too… on the TV baby, ;)
Kendra Wilkinson can get it.
Maya Moore can still get it with Candice Parker too… on the basketball court baby, ;)
And Kim Kardashian can get it airbrushed or not. Anyone saying anything different is not that smart.
Youtube: Creu (Enjoy)
Anna Faris cannot get it.
Have a great weekend.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Then on Monday night, I went grocery shopping so I could save some money and start making some dinner and POTENTIALLY take my lunch. I ended up spending way too much money, but I will not be eating for some time.
Somebody thinks I’m sexy. Cute.
Obama is a pimp.
I owe you guys a post on my fashion report. And I have a few more ideas for posts to come.
Time for Law & Order... woo hoo!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I need to leave Norfolk/Chesapeake, VA today. I have this strange feeling the proximity rule is setting in on me. As many of you know, obese people, (I did not say fat), BOTHER me. And there are just “tons” of them down here. I also have started to notice that some of the women are attractive, or it’s that some people are so ugly that the normal ugly people look cute. I don’t know, but I need to get out of here. And no more alcohol. Because there’s just some ish you can’t blame on the a-a-a-a-alcohol.
Also at this conference is this guy who went to Radford… blank stare. He keeps breaking down what Radford has to do to win the game. Every ten minutes I cut him off and say, “Short of drugging them or slipping something in their Gatorade tank, you have no shot.”
At times people are so engulfed in themselves that they fail to realize how much they have been inconsiderate to everyone else. I wish that people would always think about how their actions affect others in their environment. I’m a very friendly and personable person, but don’t let that fool you, on the inside I’m very judgmental. I notice everything, I just don’t say anything. My grandmother always teases me and lets me know that I store mean things to say to a person for years so that if they ever piss me off I just pour it all out and the person is devastated.
Today is the last day of winter. Good riddens.
Why are women so caddy? I swear, I don’t think they are creatures that are made to get along. And if you can’t get along with people who supposedly have the same make-up as you, how are men supposed to get along with you? I can’t call it.
Brief note here, why are people upset about this AIG bonuses scandal? Let’s be real here, stop worrying about that, it’s skirting the real issue on the table. Remember, “you was who you was before you got here.” – Jay-Z.
If I make it back to DC in time, I’m going to do something I shouldn’t do. This means I have to do it my way… I’m going to go to Shadow room.
Sometimes people make bad decisions. I think back there’s one person in particular that I know made a bad decision. They thought they wanted something, that they already had and they let it go. It took them some time to realize it was a bad decision. With the time, they realized they waited so long that it would be hard to admit they made a bad decision. When they finally admitted they made a bad decision to the person they may have hurt, I think that person had known since the mistake was made it was a bad decision. It didn’t work. So don’t make bad decisions and if you find that you have made a bad decision, just admit it. Like Chris Rock says, “I know you did it, just admit it.”
My FwB post is ready to drop. My spring fashion preview for 2009 is ready to drop, look for this on Monday.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
[Maximus stands up, clenching an arrow head in his right hand]
Commodus: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don't think there's ever been a gladiator to match you. As for this young man, he insists you are Hector reborn. Or was it Hercules? Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name.
Maximus: My name is Gladiator.
[turns away from Commodus]
Commodus: How dare you show your back to me! Slave, you will remove your helmet and tell me your name.
Maximus: [removes helmet and turns around to face Commodus] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
[Commodus trembles in disbelief]
[Praetorians point their spears at the gladiators while the Coliseum crowd chants for them to live. Commodus shakes his head and motions the crowd for silence. He then raises his fist and reluctantly gives the thumbs-up signal]
It’s time for March Madness and I am reeeeeeeeeaady.
Obama is that dude.
Adriana Lima can geeeeet it.
Sage Steele can still get it.
Several things have a tendency to keep me up at night. I sometimes wake up at like 3AM and stay awake for two hours of so just thinking about life. Last night, I did that. This time away from things has given me a lot of time to think and reflect about what I want to do when I get back to DC.
It’s time for a stealth vacation.
I haven’t been on my blog rounds since I’ve been at this conference, however, I will do my best to get you something tonight.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
(Source: Bridget Jones Diary)
I’m a movie buff, stop judging my quotes! Yes you, tell ‘em why you mad!
A guy sleeps with his ex-girlfriend’s good friend or a girl sleeps with her ex-boyfriend’s good friends. Either way… y’all some dirty asses. But you know there’s something to be said about the excitement of it all.
I saw my elementary school crush on the train this morning. I think I look better than her now. But she’s still freaking beautiful. To put this in perspective she might have been the first girl I ever found attractive in life. That’s a big place. I should keep in touch with her more than I do, you never know.
I have to go out of town until Thursday, but I will still be blogging. I look forward to getting drinks in the hotel bar and seeing what happens once I get wasted alone and get bored.
I am actually looking forward to April 8th too. Kiss Kiss is having a birthday and as I look over the past few years of my life I can’t imagine a person I’d rather get wasted with more.
I have a friend who cannot spell. It bothers me to no end. Read this shit: “cute [Cheney]. My braket wasn't deleted and now you have lost leverge with everyone else.”
I think before I go back to Miami, I want to go to Atlanta. The mere fact that I want to go to Atlanta warrants a blog in itself.
Isn’t it rough when you have to give a report on one of your good friends? I think I did a good job. Dude said, Is she a whore? I said, “Not in the least bit. She ain’t Repunzel though.” I mean all’s I was trying to say is she’s not some type of Catholic virgin, but she ain’t no ho, so don’t get it twisted.
AnnaLynn McCord can get it.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Anne Marie: Just tell me what to do... please.
Matt: You want me to tell you what to do?
Anne Marie: Yes.
Matt: You know what to do.
Anne Marie: No. Matt... I don't.
Matt: Just be the girl I met on the beach.
Anne Marie: Who? Who was she?
Matt: The kind of girl who wouldn't ask a guy what to do.
(Source: Blue Crush)
Starring…. Michelle Rodriguez who can get it. I’ve always thought she was super sexy.
AnnaLynne McCord can get it, early and in a hurry.
Candace Parker… can get it, pregnant.
Sh*t is all f*cked up now.
Dr. J: Did you go out tonight?
Ryde or Die Chick: Nah, just went over my friend’s house to play Rock Band.
Dr. J: (smh)
Ladies, listen, no really, read closely, whenever a man says this, it’s like dead air on the radio, it actually means absolutely nothing: “I’m gon’ stop f*cking with your ass.”
I feel bad for Jennifer Aniston. She just can’t keep a man. Like how would you feel if having a man break up with you was referred to as being Jennifer Aniston’ed.
Made-off ain’t no snitch!
Johnny Kemp – Just Got Paid
Streetz and Radio will feel me, “Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?”
My favorite quote ever, “We are not judged by our inconsistencies, but by our consistencies.” - Anonymous
Lil’ Wayne – Upgrade You. Might be the song of the weekend right now….
And let that be the ride out…
I Know U See Da Gwap Cause Gettin Money Is Wut We On
Ridin Drop Top In Da Winter Wit Da Heat On
Bad Yella Bitch Keep My Passenger Seat Warm
Leg Hangin Out Da Winda U Aint Got Dese On
Bitch Holla It Is Lil Weezy
Dey Can Not See Me They Are Like Stevie
I Am Bareing A Ton Like Lee-V
I Circle Ya House Like Bee-Bee
Colder Dan Da He-Be-Gee-Bees
Neva Give Free Bees 75 Thousand For Dese Beats
Shid I Can Get A 100 Thousand Up In Dese Jeans
Big Stacks My Pockets On Criatine
Young Money Dipset Nigga We A Team
If U Dont Like It Nigga Fuck U No Vaseline
Errr I Peel Off In Da Lambergine
Like A Tangerine Got Da Industriy Straight Shakin Like A Tamberine
Like A Bitch Wit Some Lips Like Angaleen-a-Jolie
Holy Got Flow Id Go Where No Other Guy Go
Fuck You Hoe Im So 5 0 4
I Hope Every Snitch Die Slow
Hip-Hop Dats My Hoe I Know She Know I Like It Wet
Dont Want No Dry Hoe
Alright Bitch I Am D-Boy No Decoy And I Will Straight Up Destroy
Any Boy Arman And I Prefor Money Den Bitches Are Just Need For
We Are Young Money Bitches And I Am Da Lee-Dor
He Are Currency Mac Maine And Bboy And I Just Signed
A Chick Named Nicky Ne-Norge
And Me Im Still Spitten Like A Retard
And Dese Niggas Soft Dey Should Be Rappin In Leotards
Nigga We In Charge Baby Put Me In Charge
And Im Just Murderin Niggas Free Of Charge
Ya Digg Juss Holla Back I See Ya Sarge
And Im So mothafuckin High I Could Eat A Star
Yeah And Let Me Upgrade U
U May Not Be A Model But I Can Front Page Ya
U Know Im Nasty Excuse My Behavior
Let Me Juss Taste Ya We Can Fuck Late-Ta
Sitten In Da Coop Lookin Like A Racer
Top Peeled Back Like Da Skin Of A Potata
Seat Way Back Listen To Anita Baker
Ridin By Myself Smokin Weed By Da Acre
Hollygrove Gata Aint Nobody Greater
Leave Wit Some Bullet Holes Da Size Of Craters
U Aint Heard Da Latest Weezy is Da Greatset
Battle Anybody Nigga Fuck Away Ya Favorite
Its A New Game And Im Da Coach Like Avery
Leave It To Da Flow We Gettin Doe Like A Bakery
I Dont Really Want To But Dese Niggas Makin Me
Put A Muthafucker On Ice Like Da Maple Legue
Dats A Hockey Team And I Aint On No Hockey Team
But Im A Champion Wheres Da Fucking Rocky Theme
Damn Rest In Peace Applo Creed
Imma Monster Everyday Is Halloween
Alot Of Syrup Alot Of Pills And A Lot Of Weed
And I Keep My Pockets Greeen Like A Pot Of Peas
And If U Hatin Baby U Can Get A Shot Of Dese
Dese Nut In Ya Mouth Can U Swallow Please
Haha Yeah Im So Hot I Freeze
Big Balls And Dey Jangle Like Alot Of Keys
Even Def Bitches Say Hi To Me
She Tell Da Blind Bitch N She Say I Gotta See
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I think it speaks a man’s self esteem when he is infatuated with always talking about jumping off with some chick who is cheating on her man. (This information has been entered into evidence as to why I don’t trust women et ALL.) I mean, have you listened to the following artists lately: Dream, Jamie Foxx, Trey Songz (YUUUUP!), or Lil’ Wayne. They cannot get through a solid sixteen/verse without a reference to jumping off with some chick who has a boyfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with messing with a chick who has a boyfriend, spontaneously. Well there’s something wrong with it, but hey we must all leave room for error, lol. It’s something wrong about being infatuated with it. Especially, Dream’s old monkey ass. Got dayum I can’t wait for him to stop making music videos and get back to producing music.
For me, personally usually… USUALLY when I end up seeing/dealing with a female with a boyfriend it’s because I very rarely ask the question, “Do you have a boyfriend?” I think that the burden falls on that girl to say stop or go. (I just had an epiphany, maybe that’s why every weekend I end up asking, “Wait she has a boyfriend?!” In my defense, I really feel like something emanates from my pours that attracts women with boyfriends, i'm not bragging because it's definitely a curse, not a gift.) Upon finding out either way, I’m still not at the point where I’ve reached consensus on whether or not that’s still cool or not. There are some that say, if you’re not married then you’re single, there are others who say, you should remain committed in you said you will be committed. In all honesty, I have no faith in women in either situation; therefore, I just proceed without asking the question.
Back to the men who find the need to brag about it all the time. To be honest with you, you should really feel a certain type of way about yourself, because she’s definitely defining you as the side piece. And she’s a freaking scum bag too. Yes, a man who cheats on his girlfriend with another chick is a scum bag too. (Ain’t nothing wrong with being a scum bag, as long as you admit that you’re being a scum bag.) She’s boxing you in to this, “sidepiece” box, and beware… it ain’t all its hyped up to be. You’d be alarmed if you found out that some girl doesn’t consider you boyfriend material. Grow up, that’s not an attractive trait.
So because I think it’s stupid to always brag about sleeping with someone’s girl, hell I think it’s stupid to even brag about who you’re sleeping with, I think those dudes are wack. Get a life. Here’s something worth bragging about, those women who go to the club planning to get dudes for free drinks, early AM breakfast, and a ride home without giving up any poom-poom, have sex with those women, consistently, and brag about that. At least that way, you won’t be a side piece, you’ll be winning a battle in the war.
Oh… and don’t forget; women who do that sleeping with a random guy when in a relationship, are the reason why I’ve concluded that there is no hope for me in a monogamous relationship. I know too much, I see too much, I’ve heard about it too much, I’m convinced. I’m telling you, for the time being I think I have it figured out, all’s I’m asking for is honesty. Let me know what the hell is going on and where I fall on the pecking order, and I’m good to go. (Devilish grin, hehehe, I always end up at #1 though…)
Sit down, heard you need some plumbing
A swell mood
A rather swoll mood
Until she told me that she told (?)
That's she'll be back, she's going to the store
I didn't know she had a boyfriend, so the door
I pointed her too
I said, "Call me when ya'll break up
I don't fuck nobody bitch"
And never only Jacob, know what time it is
(Andre 3000 - Art of Storytelling Part 4)
(Source: The Departed)
It’s almost time that we begin promoting the blog. I’m working on it. I’ll be there soon.
Big East Basketball it’s faaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic.
Time to come up with Plan B for the weekend.
I’ve been offered to write on several blogs this week. I’m going to consider them all, I really believe the best way to this is for everyone to post everyone else’s posts. On some like DJ Khaled-type stuff.
Spring starts in 9 days, if you ain’t ready, I recommend you do some shopping this weekend. Side note, slender men should not wear pleats or double-breasted suit coats, they are garments that are made to make you look slender when you are portly.
Halle Berry, she got more donk than my trunk.
Amber Rose, she got more donk than my trunk.
Beyonce, she got more donk than my trunk.
Chardonnay, she got more donk than my trunk.
It's amazing that a donk has never really been my thing.
I got more shit to talk.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Reposting this quote for a friend of mine, they know who they are:
Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
(Source: The Holiday)
I seriously thought from jump that this was the pecking order for the WBC:
4. United States
6. Dominican Republic
No, I did not know that the Netherlands would be this good, but it does not surprise me. They have good pitching and defense and those are two things that can and will win you games in this format.
Law & Order gets better every episode.
Big East basketball is faaaaaaantastic.
Women’s basketball can be downright boring at times, however, Maya Moore… makes it beautiful. She’s not as good looking as Candice Parker, but she can ball her ass off. And everyone knows how Dr. J loves women who can play some basketball.
For the last time, I do not go to Lotus on Tuesdays. I just remember being at Lotus one time, having a couple beers (for $8 a pop, Amstel Light for $8) and turning around and being accosted by the HOOD.
Currently working out a couple deals to start writing on a couple blogs and internet sites, look out for the A-Rod of the Blog world. I’m not lying, I stop short of saying Dr. J hottest in America. Just because I think Ron Browz is wack like bushwack.
I’m almost ready for the weekend. I think that putting myself in the infirmary has helped out a lot. Combine that with the fact that even while on the ski trip, I refrained from drinking on Sunday has made this weekend’s plan much more feasible.
Just when I was done with this topic, here comes Robin Givens. She does not want me to go in on her, pause. Although, Mike Tyson is no where near as randomly psycho as Chris Brown to be honest.
Why are so many people turning to online dating sites these days? I don’t get it. Like at all…
I really want to make a post today that’s not about relationships. I like to show off the diversity and versatility. We’ll see, I forgot what that post was going to be about, but when it comes to me I’ll start writing.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Friday start with us departing at around 3PM. The plan was to drink the whole way until we got to the resort. Well, we didn’t really leave until 3:30PM and got caught in traffic. Needless to say the majority of the bus was wrecked before Pennsylvania. I realized that, you shouldn’t drink a combination of everything, you can drink a combination of everything, if you would like to have a night like that. Got the resort around 8/8:30, it was open bar again, the drinking continued. Then the pajama party occurred. I actually spent most of my time dancing with the peoples we came with. However, I will fast forward to the comment of the next morning.
“Wait, she has a boyfriend?” – Dr. J
Yes, Saturday we realized that Ms. Drop it Like its Hot had a boyfriend. Later on after the 2PM happy hour in which some person to remain nameless did some old childish behavior make you want to rebuke Satan type stuff, she tried to tell the group. “I don’t like my boyfriend grinding up on girls, like I grind on guys.”
“And I got to pick a wife out this bunch?!” – Midtown
The time between dinner and 1AM is a complete blur. But I can sum it up this way, it’s my motto in life: “Take it from a guy who’s tried to get off this planet more than once, you don’t go until it’s your time to go.” Then I went to the Black party, which was cool, kept drinking, got bent, called it a night, woke up on Sunday morning vowing to never drink again.
I swear if I go back to each Sunday after the ski trip I always say, I’m never drinking again.
Couple of things of note
It’s hard to completely unwind on the ski trip if you know that people, who like to gossip too much, are going to be in attendance.
If you know someone is going on the ski trip and you don’t tell them that you are going, you are officially on borderline stalker status.
I saw married and women in relationships acting all types of indecent this weekend. If that was my girl, knowing that most self-respecting men would keep their mouth shut, I would be upset and in need of a trip to Miami.
The girls at breakfast trying to tell me how the trip was a bunch of youngins acting a damn fool was surprised to know that me and my roommate were actually some of the youngest people there and she was saying that we acted very mature. I was like, yeah those people smoking weed and dancing like a fool, they like 30 and over. That’s why I love these people, they act a damn fool.
Thou shall always take a shower before going out. I know I pulled up the rear by waiting until at least 11pm to take my shower, but I had to do what I had to do.
“Even when they hate me, they love me.” – Dr. J
Don’t ever show Seven Pounds on a bus trip. That’s just cruel.
And don’t start movies you can’t finish. I got right to the part of Lakeview Terrace when it got good when we got back to Arundel Mills. Ugh!
And this is my 25th blog. I’m the new A-Rod of blogging. Watch me hit 100 before May.
George: What do you want me to say? I'm in prison. You should know you're the one who put me in here.
Mirtha Jung: I knew you would say something like that. Always thinkin' about yourself.
“If it’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that bitches be motherfucking tripping.” – Will Cox
I’m still tired from the ski trip.
The fact that Ray J was a repeat last night pisses me off.
You ever feel alone in a room full of friends?
The Big East tournament starts today and it’s fantastic!
I find myself just zoning out at times and forgetting to come back.
“Bitches don’t model, they strip.” – Grove
Why is Alex Smith back in a 49ers jersey?
I’m am purging my life of everything in it I don’t see as beneficial. It’s like the DC Lottery baby, “It could happen to you.”
Here lately I haven’t been sleeping well. I can’t really put my finger on why. I’m going to bed at a reasonable hour, I’m eating well, it doesn’t make any sense.
I just don’t think I’m supposed to be happy, makes me think that it’s not worth looking for.
I pushed back my completion date for my book because I have felt so unmotivated to write in that book lately it’s ridiculous. In my defense, I’ve completed 8 out of the 13 pre-outlined chapters. I am considering adding in 5 more chapters, one of which would have been a compilation of my facebook notes.
You know what I hate? When someone does something to you that’s real messed up. And you know you have some dirt or something you can get them on, but you just be like, “Nah, bitch I said nah, I’m going to leave it alone.”
I’m actually rather excited about this weekend.
I keep trying to tell you that if you listen to Swagger like Puff, it’s the story of my life. Seriously, ask the guy who lives next door to me.
Mr. Combs is in the building
I’ll take your bitch ,Ill crush your building
Fuck it I’ll give her children
Swag at a hundred, trillion, Zillion
Bitch Brazilian, hair color chameleon’s ,
skin tone vanilla, two scoops of chilling.
Ciroc Blue Ice
Anything you do, I do twice
What you do, I don’t do like you
No one on the planet, nobody more famous
lavish or more savage
Who the fuck you think matters,
Number one Puff daddy ring leader of the Palace
Is Baaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd Boyyyyyyyyyy
Throw the B’s in the air and scream oh yeah
(Source: Swagger Life Puff - Diddy)
Monday, March 9, 2009
1. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." -- "Gone With the Wind"
2. "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." -- "The Godfather"
3. "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." -- "On the Waterfront"
4. "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." -- "The Wizard of Oz"
5. "Here's looking at you, kid." -- "Casablanca"
6. "Go ahead, make my day." -- "Sudden Impact"
7. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup." -- "Sunset Blvd."
8. "May the Force be with you." -- "Star Wars"
9. "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night." -- "All About Eve"
10. "You talking to me?" -- "Taxi Driver"
Source: American Film Institute
“She turned around placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away.”
I have never heard, “she started kicking his ass,” put so eloquently.
Let me be the first to tell you, Chris Brown is psycho. There’s no way to slice it. If you have not had the opportunity, read the affidavit. No, don’t say to me, “I’ve already heard enough.” No you haven’t, read that damn affidavit. (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0305093brown1.html) After reading that, I realized that there was no way to explain this guy’s actions.
I agree, all domestic violence is wrong. That is not something that I will debate with you. But seriously, what this fool did crossed the line of domestic violence to just downright inhumane. Like I would say he beat her like she was a man… nope that’s not quite capturing it. I would say he had no regard for the fact that she was a women…. nope. Honestly, if he was hitting another man the way he was hitting Rihanna, he’d still be a crazy ass dude.
And also, people don’t just spaz out like that. There is no way you’re going to convince me that he hasn’t done something like this before. I mean seriously he didn’t just hit her, he repeatedly inflicted harm on her. I actually have a funny feeling they fight all the time like that.
And I can sum my next point up in one line: Why is Rihanna back with this dude?
Well, now let’s have real talk. The reality of the situation is that most women don’t leave. And it’s not because they feel trapped or fear for their lives, it’s because they love the person and forgive their mistakes. A lot of women talk big shit about what they would do if a guy put his hands on them, most of those women when put in the situation, don’t do much at all. So when all these women are crying that Rihanna needs to leave him and they can’t believe that he’s still there, I’d like them to go phone a friend who’s experienced something like that before and they’ll give you the real low down on the situation.
I’m really upset because as a person who has to ride the train everyday with little ass kids who are growing up too fast in a world that’s evil. I know that now you will have little dumb ass girls talking about, “Me and my boo fight, so what. Our relationship is real.” Because that’s how simple minded these little kids are. So yes, Chris Brown is psycho. But Rihanna is just as hot a mess as him too.
The real messed up part is that Chris Brown probably won’t get any serious jail time, if he gets any. Not that I ever wish our federal and state penitentiary systems on people, but I know that the public will want that resolve and probably won’t get it. Chris Brown’s career is not over. He will be back making music before you know it, and in time, people will have moved on. America loves a comeback story. Rihanna’s career though… I don’t know. I actually think she’s peaked out right now anyway because there’s no way she can ever past Beyonce and she’s right below her, so it’s really no where to go but down. I have this funny feeling these two are going to try and market this fiasco into a way to sell records and I’m just going to be like, I told you.
In conclusion, I’m still shaking my head in disbelief at this situation. I think Chris Brown is crazy. The jury is officially out on Rihanna. I hope that parents talk to their kids about what’s going on, rather than duck and dodge from the issue. I pray that people don’t keep spewing out hate and negativity about domestic violence and start doing some real educating about the real deal. And someone tell Oprah to shut the hell up.
This lady at my job pisses me off everyday. She has no clue that she is always infringing on my work space and it pisses me off. She blasts her music without earphones, she is always on the phone with personal matters, and she does absolutely nothing all day.
I know, I just got back from vacation, don’t tell me to relax!
The ski trip was great. It gave me enough time to think clearly about things for a second. Case in point, the quote of the weekend is, “Wait... she’s got a boyfriend?” And while I’m on the topic, that might be the quote of the year. Every weekend I ask myself that at least once.
I read the Steve Harvey book. Hated it. However, this weekend I realized some of those points are freaking hilarious. I swear the asking a man to define your relationship is classic. And also when he said a man’s first intentions are to have sex with you. That’s true about 95% of the time. This is why boyfriends are always like, “HE’S NOT YOUR FRIEND.” Women think he’s a friend, no, unless he has said definitively that he is not sexually attracted to you and would never have sex with you. He’ll do it and not think twice about it.
Amber Rose can get it.
Someone tried to tell me that Rosario Dawson wasn’t that attractive this weekend. I lost respect for that person. She’s still my little squeak though. Just have no idea what she is talking about. I think I speak for all real men out there on the struggle when I say, LaLa from He Got Game might have been the best looking girl in a movie I’d seen up until that point. When I think about that movie I cannot get the ferris wheel scene out my head.
I would write a blip about Chris Breezy, but I have a post for that crazy ass negro.
Terrell Owens is a Buffalo Bill. In other news, his two girlfriends, can get it too.
It’s getting warm again in DC.
I’m still disappointed in the behavior of a certain person last week. I came to the conclusion that it was to be expected.
And I want my damn hour back, so if you see Father Time, tell him I’m looking for him and when I find him it’s going to be a misunderstanding.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Seth: Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?
Fogell: No noooo, man. I got it; it is flawless. Check it!
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Fogell: Fuck you.
Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, all right?
Evan: Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID; it'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: [grinning] ... I am McLovin!
Seth: No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!
You ever sit and think about how you and your friends have attempted to do some dumb ass shit and actually thought it might work? It’s all about that key question that we always ask, “What were you thinking?!”
I decided to break my rule and drive to work today, because it was my last day of the week at the office. Tomorrow, I’m off to the ski trip. I’m taking pen and pad with me, because I’m sure I’ll need to take notes to remember all that I have to write about on Monday.
Last night, something weird happened, and I’m almost positive it wasn’t cool, but I’m going to act like it didn’t happen because I played it off quite sincere. And after all the person’s concern wasn’t warranted.
Flight of the Conchords is come funny ish. I seriously have never watched an episode that I didn’t find something these guys said to be funny. Watch this video and tell me this isn’t the damn truth. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t3FbYBXWDw)
Last night, I came home and picked up the axe in Guitar Hero and scored a perfect 100% on the first song I played. That was the highlight of my day. Thanks!
Don’t ever miss your warning signs. There are two types of warning signs; good and bad. A lot of people miss good warning signs by being dumb and either trying to do too much, or convinced they weren’t ready for what was just inserted in their life. Do not miss the bad warning signs either. Sometimes, women have a tendency to do this, boyfriend shakes the shit out of her, WARNING SIGN. She stays with him, dude slaps her across the face to make sure she’s paying attention, WARNING SIGN. Next thing you know she’s in a coma for the rest of her life.
If you have something to tell someone, tell them. Stop keeping secrets from your family and friends when you just don’t want to deal with the truth. When you delay the inevitable, you run the risk of never being able to solve a problem. Life’s too short to carry around valuable information.
Patiently awaiting Chris Brown to enter court with Rihanna today. That will be the last straw for Rihanna for me.
I am sincerely addicted to Kanye West’s, 808s & Heartbreak. Somebody stop me!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
There’s a real good reason why I named my blog what it is named.
1) Streetz said name it the Book of Jackson. (http://www.streetztalk.net)
2) People always say that I just refuse to agree with anyone and live by a random set of ideals and beliefs. So this is the way of the world according to me.
3) I am convinced that many a people have tried to write the story of my life, and never asked me to review their version. Classic quote from my college days, “The story of my life, written by someone other than me.”
Seriously, I get upset when someone spreads rumors about me. But you ever hear one of those rumors and then you are like, “I’ll just let that one ride.” It’s not always a bad thing.
I am still having this strawberry blonde argument with myself. I really wished Ashley had never said anything about it. Now I’m like, is that red-hair, blonde, brown or strawberry blonde…. wait what the hell is strawberry blonde?!
Do you know what a cuckold is? Gentlemen you should hope never to be a cuckold. That is some foul shit. Ain’t it foul when someone calls you something and you don’t know what it means, so you have to accept it, and then go look it up. Actually, I’ve never been called a cuckold, but one of my friend’s away message for like months used to be, Slaves to the Cuckold. So yesterday, I googled it. Cuckhold - A man married to an unfaithful wife. Now apparently this is some type of genre of porn too.
Barry Bonds ain’t never going to jail.
Michael Vick will be a 49er. Oh em gee.
I read this blog everyday and think this chick is completely lost. I know that’s random, but one day I’m going to put her on blast.
Today, I’m making a post. I swear. Be back soon.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I was waiting on you
Waiting on a dream
That'll never come true
Didn't you know
I was waiting on you
My face turned to stone
When I heard the news
When you decide to break the rules
Cause I just heard some real bad news
People will talk
Like its old news
I played it off and act like I already knew
Let me ask you
How long have you known too
You played it off and act like he's brand new
(Bad News – Kanye West)
Every time I listen to Kanye West’s 808s & Heartbreak, I get a new takeaway. I swear to you, you show me a good story about love/relationships from this year and I’ll buy your first drink.
I just received word from my editor that I need to cut the shit on this blog and get back to writing my book. But instead of holding that against y’all I’m just going to put in the time and do both.
I’m over here looking at the calendar and we have a great March planned for you ladies and gentlemans. The ski trip is coming up this weekend, then next weekend we have the out-of-towners, then the following weekend, dudes night out, then we’ll end the month with me doing what I said I’d never do, stay tuned for the results.
OK, here’s what’s bugging me… If you say to me, let’s get up Tuesday, I’m not going to follow up with you about Tuesday. You said, let’s get up Tuesday it was your plan, you’re supposed to get up on Tuesday. Random I know…
Somebody put a vicious picture up of me on Facebook and it was quite hilarious. I’m too old to be offended enough to start drama.
Honestly, right now if your fashion game is fresh to death, then I’m deceased. I really stopped going out and spending money and just started shopping. Your spring season will not live to see tomorrow. I advise you to contact me offline or you will be embarrassed.
SPOILER ALERT…. I was so proud of them showing Africans being smart on TV, until I found out these ignorant [negros] planned to take the President! You couldn’t even get a pen out of the White House.
I am in love with Thandie Newton. In every which way that a man could be in love with a woman. Real talk. My home girl from Queens asked me if I had to pick a side piece who would it be, and it would be Aubrey from Danity Kane for sure. Talking about a girl who knows her role.
Monday, March 2, 2009
"I'm not going to do, what everybody thinks i'm gonna do, which is just... FLIP OUT" - Jerry Maguire
In conclusion, there’s a big difference in a male friend coming out to you and telling you he’s gay, and him coming out to you and telling you he’s gay and into you. The way you handle the situation is completely different.
Heterosexual men never pick up on innuendos. They don’t even pick up on advances from most women. Read: Random wild guesses in a general direction. Most women when they find out a guy is coming out of the closet, or openly stating that he is gay on a public forum, are like, “I knew that. Why didn’t you?”
I had a lunch with a group of friends and we were talking about one of our friends whom we’ve known for a long time. I would consider this friend a close friend of mine because if he ever needs anything I would be there for him, within reason. The gist of the conversation was that perhaps it’s our fault as friends that he doesn’t feel comfortable telling us that he is gay. This guy has never really been into the conquest for panties, never, like even in high school. His ex-girlfriend was like six years ago. And she was a little boyish herself. And it always seemed like their relationship was a little odd, and hindsight could have been a cover-up or just two very good friends who said they were in a relationship to thwart away questions. His ex-girlfriend is completely out of the closet now, she is a lesbian. Since they broke up he has not had another girlfriend and in fact, we’ve never even heard about him dating anyone.
So at happy hour me and this friend are out with a group of other friends. During a side conversation, we are talking about life and work. So he asks me about some vicious rumors that he’s heard that I had a girlfriend… WOMP. So I’m not really paying attention to him, I was looking out around the bar, maybe what I mean to say is I’m not making eye contact with him. So I said, “So what’s up with you? Are you dating any of these chicks out here?” And he says, “Dude, you know I’m not into chasing chicks like that.” So we continue to talk until we got to this part of the conversation where I realized what was going on. I said, “Man, it’s just freaking hard to date chicks these days, they fundamentally don’t make any sense. They don’t know what they want, I don’t know what I want. I want a girl, if and only if, she is going to “get it.” Now in between now and then is like dating, and dating women in DC is flat out ridiculous. You really are expected to wine and dine them at $100 dinners, but then the next day they are out with some other group of guys who buys them drinks all night at some bar. It’s like I’m not going to treat you like my potential girlfriend if you are going to make it blaringly obvious that you are going to date other guys. I’m like, well where are we going? You get what I’m saying?” And he goes, “You know… I don’t really date girls anymore.” And I was about to say, “Yeah, man I feel the same way.” But… then it hit me. That sentence would have been just fine if he had not said, “girls” but he did. He specifically said, “girls.” So I had this off stare and then I looked at him, in silence. And I gave him this like confused, dumb, blank look. And he looks at me with that, “Yes that’s what I’m implying look.” So I just said the only thing that came to mind, “I knew it!”
And we both started laughing. We actually didn’t even talk about it much more than that. I just continued talking about how dating in DC is just flat out ridiculous at this point. Again, it’s completely different. If you’ve ever seen RocknRolla, you’ll see a hilarious coming out scene. The guy comes out to him and basically says he wants to be with his friend. And that’s like information overload. It’s a difference between “hey I’m gay” and “hey I’m gay and I want to be with you.”
OK, so story over, but one last note. There’s a difference between being heterosexual and homosexual. But there’s a BIG difference between being a closet homophobe and an out-of-closet homophobe. If you think Chris Brown had it bad. You come out of the closet about being a homophobe around the wrong group of people and you will be completely alienated by your friends and everyone will find out why and it will be BAD. Like a lot of people talk a lot of shit about if they found out their boy was gay how they would flip out, but trust me, you don’t want to do that. I think it’s like this, you might be a Christian, does that mean everyone else is going to hell that doesn’t believe in what you believe in. Well, if that’s what it means to you, you live a very closed and stupid life. I for one believe that there is a God, if I had to align with a religion it would be Christianity, however, people who don’t believe that, it’s up to the Creator or a higher power to make the judgment on who’s going to hell and not, so I don’t knock any other religion. You have to take the same approach with homosexuality. Nuff said.
Larry: Is he a good fuck?
Anna: Don't do this.
Larry: Just answer the question! Is he good?
Larry: Better than me?
Larry: What does that mean?
Anna: You know what it means.
Larry: Tell me!
Larry: I treat you like a whore?
Larry: Why would that be?
Rihanna and Chris Brown back together? I’m glad. Next question.
This freaking snow in DC is ridiculous. People always want to bring up that I went to school in a place that it snowed everyday for 8 months of the year. Yeah and that place had the infrastructure to plan and handle heavy snow. DC just has no clue what to do when it snows.
I get really upset when the Lakers lose, therefore, I really don’t like when people feel the need to bring it up. Especially when they lose a game that in the big scheme of things won’t matter. If you look at the Western Conference standings there is one team that is shoulders above the rest, and teams 2-8 can fight it out for the remaining spots. Nuff said.
Does anybody doubt that Obama is a superhero? Any place he has visited puts his picture up like he’s Superman. Well, he is Superman. I also had a random dream last night that I met Michael Steele. I also saw an interview with Michael Steele last night where I found myself agreeing again with the GOP perspective. It pains people to agree, but it’s the truth, the Democrats on Capitol Hill would rather that the government fix the economy right now, that’s just stupid. The government needs to work with corporate America to pull the country out of this mess. The answer is not, and can not be for the government to govern more. Real talk. (Milton!)
You ever have someone try to convince that they’ve moved on from the past? But they keep talking about it. People always try and tell me how they’ve moved on past college and how they have forgotten all about it. My response is usually the same, “Me too. So how’s life otherwise?” Ironically, I always find the conversation drifts back to something about the past. For example, “I’m just focusing on me, and not worrying about all those haters from college.” Come on now…
Women have germs throw rocks at them.
This weekend I came to the realization that men and women just do not speak the same language and we will never communicate effectively. Advances are merely just wild guess in the general direction of each other. Anybody who spends too much time trying to figure out the other side is wasting their time. As I was telling my friend online last night, here’s a quandary: A guy can take a girl out to a nice dinner, wine and dine her, treat her with respect, work on building some type of substantial relationship with a girl. He gets no where. Another guy can treat that same girl like a straight jumpoff, never call, only text, only lay pipe and have no intentions of pursuing anything further with the girl. She is in love with him. (Oh I know some chick is going to be like, “What if that’s all I want?” I’m not talking to you. Those who I’m talking about, know what I’m talking about. Do not self-empower yourself when I’m talking about women who want to be with a guy in a relationship and he won’t budge.)
I’ll be making a post later today after completing my blog rounds.
In other words, Good Morning America!