Thursday, March 5, 2009

Morning Mail - 3.5.08

Fogell: Yo guys! Sup?
Seth: Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?
Fogell: No noooo, man. I got it; it is flawless. Check it!
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Fogell: Fuck you.
Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, all right?
Evan: Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID; it'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: [grinning] ... I am McLovin!
Seth: No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!
(Source: Superbad)

You ever sit and think about how you and your friends have attempted to do some dumb ass shit and actually thought it might work? It’s all about that key question that we always ask, “What were you thinking?!”

I decided to break my rule and drive to work today, because it was my last day of the week at the office. Tomorrow, I’m off to the ski trip. I’m taking pen and pad with me, because I’m sure I’ll need to take notes to remember all that I have to write about on Monday.

Last night, something weird happened, and I’m almost positive it wasn’t cool, but I’m going to act like it didn’t happen because I played it off quite sincere. And after all the person’s concern wasn’t warranted.

Flight of the Conchords is come funny ish. I seriously have never watched an episode that I didn’t find something these guys said to be funny. Watch this video and tell me this isn’t the damn truth. (

Last night, I came home and picked up the axe in Guitar Hero and scored a perfect 100% on the first song I played. That was the highlight of my day. Thanks!

Don’t ever miss your warning signs. There are two types of warning signs; good and bad. A lot of people miss good warning signs by being dumb and either trying to do too much, or convinced they weren’t ready for what was just inserted in their life. Do not miss the bad warning signs either. Sometimes, women have a tendency to do this, boyfriend shakes the shit out of her, WARNING SIGN. She stays with him, dude slaps her across the face to make sure she’s paying attention, WARNING SIGN. Next thing you know she’s in a coma for the rest of her life.

If you have something to tell someone, tell them. Stop keeping secrets from your family and friends when you just don’t want to deal with the truth. When you delay the inevitable, you run the risk of never being able to solve a problem. Life’s too short to carry around valuable information.

Patiently awaiting Chris Brown to enter court with Rihanna today. That will be the last straw for Rihanna for me.

I am sincerely addicted to Kanye West’s, 808s & Heartbreak. Somebody stop me!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That McLovin scene has me in tears every time! Good Rant!