Thursday, July 29, 2010
Yolanda: Did it work?
Pumpkin: Fucking-A right, it worked. That's what I'm saying. Knucklehead walks into a bank with a telephone! Not a pistol, not a shotgun, but a fucking phone. Cleans the place out, doesn't even lift a fucking finger.
Yolanda: Did they hurt the little girl?
Pumpkin: I don't know, there probably never was a little girl in the first place. The point of the story isn't the little girl, the point of the story is, they robbed a bank with a telephone.
(Source: Pulp Fiction)
“The absence of evidence, is not the evidence of absence.” – Donald Rumsfeld
Not a lot of mail today…
Yesterday over dinner we talked about how our forefathers planned for each American to be in control of themselves and not have the government choose for them what they should and shouldn’t do. Most of our forefathers were Republican, that ideology led to states being able to decide for themselves what they would do and the laws to govern their states. And then you have Democrats who believe that the government should provide the support for the people. And they are the ones who believe in the government setting the direction and pace for the people. Le sigh, this is why we have two branches of the government, thank God.
So a federal judge overturned several key pieces of the Arizona Immigration legislation set to go in place today. Great news. Now get back to work. Be real, that job is not one that any American was willing to take anyway, I don’t know why you complaining. This is also my stance on why I don’t think America really plans to do anything about the immigration problem.
In other news, we are still not allowing any Cubans into America.
I don’t like when the government tells everybody what to do and what not to do, I think we should all be able to make some decisions on our own.
Kanye West is on twitter. I am not sure I would be able to follow him.
I think my cell phone is broke again.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Slim: Well, I guess it's dead, along with chivalry and fidelity.
I can watch this movie over and over again.
I have a real bad habit of counting the amount of pregnant women I see. I go some days where I may count as many as six or seven.
Pregnant Woman Politics of Dr. J
- I do not like when I see a pregnant woman with kids and no father in the picture.
- At times, I feel like when I see a pregnant woman without a wedding ring, my mind wanders.
- I do not like when I see pregnant women jay walking. (This includes women in strollers.)
- If you have on Giuseppe’s and your baby has no shoes at all, I can see how this story ends.
Why is it called, “make a woman out of” when a guy marries a woman?
Shout out to the women who don’t want to get married or have kids. May they be the best girlfriends and side pieces they can be. Respect.
Why is my computer making this weird noise?
Here’s the thing about the fake ID, it’s never cool for everyone to be getting ready to walk into the club when suddenly the bouncer says, “This is fake.”
If today is your birthday, Happy Birthday. This goes for all of you.
I really hate when people get mad at me for not saying Happy Birthday to them, it’s your birthday, not mine. Self-esteem people. In addition, with the creation of cell phones and Facebook, two things went missing. Knowledge of phone numbers and birthdays. I swear most people don’t even know their own cell phone numbers.
Busy bee, worky work. I’ll catch up with y’all.
Life is good. God is great.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Bryan: [to Marko, while preparing him for torture] You know, we used to outsource this kind of thing. But what we found was the countries we outsourced to had unreliable power grids. Very Third World. You'd turn on a switch - power wouldn't come on, and then tempers would get short. People would resort to pulling fingernails. Acid drips on bare skin. The whole exercise would become counterproductive. But here, the power's stable. Here, there's a nice even flow. Here, you can flip a switch and the power stays on all day. Where is she?
I know, I apologize, Monday was pretty rough, I wasn't normal until at least noon.
There is a 120 year old tree laying in the South Lawn of the White House.
Let me tell you how dumb I am, so as I’m sitting in the house on Sunday, I notice my DVR is 95% full, so I’m like let me clean this thing out. So I start deleting everything I can get my hands on. And it’s at this point that the monsoon hits DC, and I have no cable for two days. Biff…
The weather in Phoenix isn’t bad, and I had some awesome quesadillas last night.
I’m starting to notice people who cannot deal well with tough circumstances. I’ve always said that life is about your “make sh*t happen” factor. Simply put, something is going to go wrong, it’s about what you do after that point that separates winners from losers.
I have no clue how to spell or say biographist, partly because the real word is biographer.
I’m still a little perturbed that Ray J didn’t choose Feisty, but Cocktail was the second best pick. You got to pick the type of woman who can deal with the life you hope to lead. Cocktail in that shower scene finally won the heart of everyone in America, but for me, it was her ability to withstand partying every night back to back.
Ass or titties? Yes, please.
Please remember to check me out on: http://bitchielife.necolebitchie.com
Please remember to check me out on: http://singleblackmale.org
Please remember to check me out on: http://buppietheblog.com
I appreciate all the love I get, and if you want you can always send me an email. I love mail from you guys asking questions, or just complaining that my opinions are messed up.
I went to a party on Sunday, I walked in and two guys were kissing, about five minutes later I found out that I was at a lesbian party. This is what we call winning.
Life is good. God is good.
Friday, July 23, 2010
I heard a sound in the distance that sounded like a door closing. I looked around at all the balconies to see if a light went on, or if something had changed, but I didn’t notice anything. I picked her up and took her to my place, once inside I pushed her back against the wall, I raised one of her legs and started to play with her, while I stared into her eyes. She tried to talk but each time, I would press harder or faster, causing her words to stutter or shudder. “What about my friend?” she managed to get out a sentence. Her friend was still outside, but that didn’t concern me, I’m sure she’d find her way back at some point. So I didn’t stop. She managed to pull away and made it to the steps where she fell again. As I dashed after her as I reached the stair she wrapped her legs around me and pulled me, she unbuckled my pants. Women wear some complicated clothing, but it seems that they can never navigate a belt buckle or button fly jeans. She started to jerk at it so I just unbutton it for her.
She took me in her mouth, and made a gaggling noise. My knees started to tremble, I reached one hand out for the wall and placed the other one on the back of her head. She reached in my pocket and pulled out my phone. And in one motion, texted her friend to come back to the apartment, without stopping what she was doing. No man likes to admit this, but done correctly a woman can make a man come in about 3-4 minutes with her mouth. In my head, I try and oscillate the alphabet to take my mind off things, but this is extremely hard to do while making eye contact. A, Z, B, Y, C, X, D, W… When this doesn’t work, I try and relax my ankles, which is hard to do as well because I’m standing. As if she can read my mind, the more I try to keep from exploding the faster she goes, the wetter it gets, the more enthusiastic she gets. I think enthusiastic is the best compliment a man can give a woman about sex.
As I reached the point where I couldn’t take anymore I picked her head up and knelt down between her legs. Her legs were on top of both of my shoulders and as I kissed her, I ran my hands all over her body. Her skin glistened, and as I touched her full breasts her nipples became erect. I squeeze them a little tighter. As I kiss up and down her legs from her knee to her pelvis, I spend some times running my tongue around the edges of her navel. Holding her with both hands around the small of her back, I can feel our breathing start to synchronize. In between her pelvis and where her leg starts there’s a place I like to visit often because it drives her wild. I pretend I’m writing my name there, in cursive and never raising the pen. I do the exact same on the other side, before rendezvousing at her navel and heading south.
A few seconds later, my door opened.
(Source: Yesterday’s Morning Mail)
So basically, I’ll be the first one to tell you that I believe there is no such thing as reverse discrimination, it’s just discrimination. And I’ll be the first one to tell you that yes, Black people are some of the most racist people in “de world.” They just are. If you look up the definition for racism, no where will you find it says, “when white people…” Anybody can be racist.
Racism - discriminatory or abusive behavior towards members of another race.
But anyway, so the conversation continued, and the Black guy exclaimed, “White people are in their own environment in America, therefore, they don’t have to think about Black people, that is white priviledge. Black people have to think about whites everyday of their life because it smacks them in the face everyday.” I am the other Black guy at the table, who hates conversations around race because people get so mad about it, and often times have so much built up inside. So the white guy counters, “That has nothing to do with the fact that Black people are racist too.” I think Black people are racist and I think that the excuse that Blacks aren’t racist because they lack power, is complete crap. Black people close doors on white people everyday.
Peep this, have you ever seen like one white person in a Black club? Have you seen how people will pick at him or her? They will intimidate the person into leaving or something. That sounds eerily familiar. Here in DC I went to a bar, Old Glory, and if you’re from DC you know that Old Glory is very bright, Black people don’t go there. But I do, that’s because you know my crowd is like Dave Chappelle’s fans. So I go in there a couple weekends ago and there’s mad Black people in there and I thought look how far we have came. I can tell you right now, there will never be a day when you walk into Love nightclub and there’s “mad white people” in there.
On the other hand, I will say this, Black people have been given a blank check on racism for too long in this country, but if you look at the Bank guaranteeing the money it reads, “The United States of America.” And last I checked, there were no Black people around when that check was written. All this rambling to say, Black people need to stop being so defensive about race. If you go looking for something you will find it. You will have to bear with people outside of your race not knowing about your race, it’s not racism, but you can’t accusate before you educate. Instead, of accusing this guy of being racist for not thinking about Black people, maybe his second comment should have been his first comment. It might have inspired a better dialogue. I still wouldn’t have participated though.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
[Neo's eyes suddenly wander towards a woman in a red dress]
Morpheus: Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?
Neo: I was...
Morpheus: [gestures with one hand] Look again.
[the woman in the red dress is now Agent Smith, pointing a gun at Neo's head; Neo ducks]
Morpheus: Freeze it.
[Everybody and everything besides Neo and Morpheus freezes in time]
Neo: This... this isn't the Matrix?
Morpheus: No. It is another training program designed to teach you one thing: if you are not one of us, you are one of them.
(Source: The Matrix)
So I’m waiting on my table because I’m Red Lobster for Crab Fest. And I see this couple, Black guy and white girl. But the white girl is smoking. I mean, boom and bow. But this Red Lobster is in a part of town where mostly Black folk frequent. So you can see all the eyes that she’s catching. And this is what I loved about her, she was so on point, any dissention could only be seen as hate. Hair, on point, outfit, on point, shoes, on point. I thought to myself, she’s putting it on about 95% of every female in this place regardless of race.
There’s this guy at my job who is gay. And he wears these horrendous blue contacts although he’s not white. So it really makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. So a woman comments, “No woman I know find color contacts on a man attractive.” And I said, “It doesn’t matter, he’s not interested in women anyway.” So the group laughs and says, “That’s not nice.” I’m trying to figure out, if it’s the truth, why is it offensive?
I have been writing so much lately, I think I average about 4-5 posts a day. When do I have time to write them? When everyone else is taking a break, I’m sprinting. I sleep less, but I’m happy about what I’m doing and hopeful to transition it into something profitable. I’m tired, but I’m patiently waiting for my next move. Yes, there will be a next move.
It’s cool to watch celebrities go through it, it’s not cool to have to go through it yourself.
A lot of men will take a dive rather than stand up for what’s right. It’s almost 10AM and I’m already seeing how men will take a dive or write the more P.C. response to a post when I know they are full of turd.
There’s a group of four sitting having lunch, talking about this Black woman who just got let go for some racially charged comments that were probably made in poor taste. So two of them, don’t really focus on race too much, but the other two are a little outspoken about it. The white guy says, “Black people are more racist than white people. Like how many times in a day do you think white people even think about Black people?” The black guy replies, “That’s racist!” Personally, I’ve still not been able to digest it.
My goal is to see Eclipse and Inception this weekend, in addition to catching up on the Hills.
If you are not following me on twitter, then you miss a lot of my article updates. Follow me, www.twitter.com/DrJayJack
Life is good. God is good.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Stu Price: Oh, yeah. Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it.
Phil Wenneck: Don't you think it's strange that you've been in a relationship for three years and you still have to lie about going to Vegas?
Stu Price: Yeah, I do. But trust me, it's not worth the fight.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, so you can't go to Vegas but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?
Stu Price: Okay, first of all, he was a bartender. And she was wasted. And, if you must know, he didn't even come inside her.
Phil Wenneck: And you believe that?
Stu Price: Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen.
(Source: The Hangover)
I can’t wait for Football. I actually dream about it every night.
I regret to inform you that I have no clue what has been happening in the world for the last two days.
I do know that I take something new away from Teflon Don each time I listen to it.
It is so much harder to dodge a person than face a person.
The other day I told myself I was going to do some work from home, yeah, and then I left the work here and went home.
Has anybody seen my cat? I was keeping it in the this bag.
I have a new article up on http://bitchielife.necolebitchie.com it’s called, I Actually Like Your Weave. Please read and tweet about it.
Sorry I do not have more time, but I will be back to normal on Thursday.
Life is good. God is good.
Sometimes a life changing occurrence is a sign that your life is about to change. #simpletweet
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Oft times, i'm accused of not being objective when it comes to Down South rappers, so I thought it would be a good idea to have @DamnKam do the album review for The Book. Check it out. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.
Long gone are the days of intricate storytelling in rap music. Once the common rap topics oflife and the struggle shifted and solely focused on money – getting, having, and showing it,rap music saw an emergence of witty punchlines artists. All with money at the core. WhenRick Ross came on the scene with his massive hit, Hustlin’, I’ll admit I wasn’t impressed. Iquestioned if rap really needed another “kingpen”? Apparently, I was the only person whoshared these sentiments. Rick Rozay as he would later go on to call himself became extremelypopular and quickly. His first two albums featured a string of hits and pushed him to the forefrontof the rap community.
I didn’t start to take Ross seriously until his album, Deeper than Rap. This is when I realized thatRick and one of my favorite Brooklyn artists, Jay- Z, had more in common than being Def Jamrecording artist. They both had an uncanny ability to pick great music. Whereas Jay-Z had superproducers Kanye West, Just Blaze, Swizz Beats, and Timbaland, Rick Ross relied on unknownsand the J.U.S.T.I.C.E League. When the latter and Ross get together musical magic tends tohappen. It was then that I honestly started to pay attention to the force that was Rick Ross andrightfully so.
Fast forward to his latest project, Teflon Don, his best work to date. A lot more experienced andestablished you have a solid body of work consisting of eleven strong tracks. The lead single,B.M.F. (Blowing Money Fast) features a hot sixteen from Styles P., pretty much sets the toneof what to expect from this album. Crazy hooks, catchy punchlines, and infectious beats. Thetrack like most tracks on this album finds Ross providing you with motivating quips so impactfulthat you often forget what the song is about. And while in the past you normally would carewith Ross you don’t. And this is what works for this album. The runaway smash M.C. Hammer,as ludicrous as the title suggest has Ross spitting some of his most potent bars ever. And ofcourse the album wouldn’t be complete without a club banger. No.1 featuring Diddy and TreySongz surely fits the bill. The album also features a third installment of his infamous MaybachMusic series. T.I.’s 16 pretty much carries the track but don’t be confused. While this isn’tmy favorite in the series, J.U.S.T.I.C.E League does not disappoint on the production. Thetrack easily could have been an instrumental. And no Rick Ross album is complete without areflective record. Teflon Don happens to have two, All The Money In the World and Tears ofJoy. And last but not least two great guest appearances by Jay-Z and Kanye West on FreeMason and Live Fast, Die Young.
While Rick Ross’s authenticity will always be up for debate one thing that isn’t is his ability tomake good music. And that should not go overlooked. This album surely will be your soundtrackfor summer.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Pete: I went to the movies.
Debbie: With who?
Pete: By myself.
Debbie: What'd you see?
Pete: Spider-Man 3.
Debbie: Why do you want to go by yourself? Why didn't you ask me to go?
Pete: Because I needed to get away, you know. With work and you and the kids, sometimes I just need some time to myself.
Debbie: I need time for myself. I want time for myself, too.
[Debbie holds back tears]
Debbie: You're not the only one.
Pete: It's not that big of a deal.
Debbie: I like Spider-Man.
Pete: Okay, so let's see Spider-Man 3 next week.
Debbie: I don't want to go see it now.
Debbie: I don't want to have to ask you to ask me. I want you to just come up with it on your own.
Pete: What? I don't even know what to say. Uh, what do you want me to do?
Debbie: You just think because you don't yell that you're not mean, but this is mean.
Pete: I'm not being mean. I'm being honest. You're telling me I need to be honest. Just...
Debbie: No, you're not. You're lying.
Pete: I'm doing it because I need to keep my sanity a little bit.
Debbie: You know what? I don't want you at the house anymore. Okay?
Pete: Come on.
(Source: Knocked Up)
Pasta and Sauce pairings… http://www.chow.com/stories/11099
As an only child I have some odd habits, but they make sense, I mean hobbies: piano, poetry/writing, and cooking. See? Things that a person does alone.
Decided that The Hangover is funnier than Pineapple Express, here’s the thing though; if not for Allen, Pineapple Express would win by far. If you take away him, it’s just 4 random guys in Vegas who can’t get anything right.
On the low, for a man, Knocked Up is WAY funnier.
Everyone has a friend who overstays their welcome. Everyone also has a friend who may be a tad socially awkward.
I missed the MIH Heatwave BBQ, there are just some events that I cannot make.
On the low, this whole buppie network is getting to be a bore. I find that people are so superficial and it’s worse than high school. Everyone is putting on a show, but I’m just not sure why. We’re all six minutes from greatness, but happy with the fact that we know someone who is doing their thing, rather than being the ones doing our thing.
And with that, I’m going to let it marinate.
Life is good, God is good.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress] ... And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!
I gave you two for today, because you’re special.
I seriously hate my morning commute. More than that, I hate the question I get when I walk into work late. As if somehow they think that I roll out of bed at 10AM walk across the street to work. They know how much I hate being here late and when they ask me why I’m here so late, I say, because metro puts me here late.
A single woman’s sharp tongue is usually the reason why she’s single. But why is it that most men would prefer to Tame the Shrew than take the woman who is already tamed. I guess it’s the same reason women want to date a project themselves.
The Tea Party is not racist. I explained this to someone yesterday. If the Tea Party is racist then the NAACP is racist. Wait, the NAACP is racist.
I should not be the only one who knows how to get on the internet at my job. I’ve been keeping a journal since 2005 called, “I’m talking but I don’t think my manager can hear me.” I’ve chronicled my ideas on management, developing employees and suggestions that I’ve made that have either been stolen or found out they were correct months later.
Law & Order is the best TV show ever. The Simpsons doesn’t come close.
This may get my computer confiscated, but I think that Fidel Castro is a true revolutionary. He will never get the credit he deserves until he long gone. He has only done what he said he would do since the time he got into power. If you want to understand Yellow Journalism, it starts with understand the Cuba situation.
Hopefully, this new site will launch today. I can’t make any guarantees.
Life is okay. God is good.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Clifton: Ah, excuse me, I'm sorry.
Buggin' Out: Not only did ya knock me down, you stepped on my brand-new white Air Jordan's I just bought, and that's all you can say is "excuse me"?
Clifton: What, are you serious?
Buggin' Out: Yeah, I'm serious, I'll fuck you up quick two times.
Punchy: Two times.
Buggin' Out: Who told you to step on my sneakers, who told you to walk on my side of the block, who told you to be in my neighborhood?
Clifton: I own this brownstone.
Buggin' Out: Who told you to buy a brownstone on my block, in my neighborhood, on my side of the street? Yo, what you wanna live in a Black neighborhood for, anyway? Man, motherfuck gentrification.
(Source: Do The Right Thing)
Ever had a real hood person put something so intellectual in perspective without using big words or guns?
How can you not be excited about the potential for Teflon Don to be the best album of 2010? I think just like 09, Teflon Don will provide the alternative to the more mainstream album. Last year, BP3 was hailed as the best, but I thought Deeper Than Rap was. IMO.
Got some writing done yesterday, a lot of writing. I have made it law that I will not be answering or replying to things that come through on my phone when writing. I will intermittingly answer my gchat and tweets. It’s just to take my eyes away from the computer screen causes me to procrastinate. I’ll apologize later.
What does everyone think about Rihanna reaching out to Chris Brown to mend a friendship? How do you feel about your significant other talking to his ex? Women who say they don’t care are usually the first offenders, lol.
Color cut clarity.
I think everyone is excited about hip hop in the 2nd half of 2010. If I can get a BlackBerry with video chat functionality, I might scuba dive in the Gulf and close the hole myself.
You should never have to ask someone why they are standing in your cube trying to use your computer when you are not there.
“I love those who love me.” – DC Don Juan
I seriously cannot go out on Tuesday and expect the week to end in a productive manner.
Re: Untapped Potential - "A gun isn’t a weapon without the bullets." - Dr. J
Life is Good, God is Good.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Mel Gibson doesn’t like Black people or Mexicans, that isn’t news to me. My grandmother told me she voted for Bush in the second election because she felt that George W. Bush reminded Black people to be aware of the fact that racism was still alive in America. A few years later and a Black president, the Miseducation of People of Color has gone completely awry and left. We’ve started actually believing that Mel Gibson doesn’t exist anymore. He went ultra-Hitler FOUR years ago, not even Manson would sign off on this guy. (We all kind of looked at the Passion a little different after that. Maybe we just weren’t paying attention to the Signs.)
However, all signs point towards Mel being welcomed back into Hollywood. He admitted to hitting his ex-girlfriend, the anti-semitism, racism, homophobia, and alcohol abuse. Mel Gibson’s return will be a triumphant American story of a man who hits rock bottom only to make it back to the Big Screen because of talent and hard work. I won’t be tuning in, nor will I be applauding him when he does so. The same guy who did Passion of the Christ also did Apocolypto, I’m sorry but he just doesn’t have a reputation for consistency. I wonder if he warned Rene Russo to stay away from Danny Glover because she might get, Alas, we’ll really see what the American dream when we meet the white woman Denzel has been sleeping with on the side all these years.
“Hey, I'm for love, not war. How about we have a beer?” – Mel Gibson
Michelle Rodriguez is so bad ass.
The difference between corrective and preventive maintenance is simple. Perfect example, preventive maintenance is eating healthy. Corrective maintenance is bitch stop eating.
Some people can’t have burgers.
I need to find a safe space to write, where I’m not affected by all that’s going around me. And no one not family nor friends can interrupt me and knock me off my game.
I know some people who make bad decisions and then expect you to take care of them.
Inconsiderate people are the devil. Have you ever known someone who just was completely oblivious to the fact that other people existed in this world?
Loud music with headphones. The Final Metro Frontier. Why can I hear the words of the music you are listening to, so distinctly? You will be deaf by the age of 40.
This is my problem with most people on metro, they are either rushing or they have no sense of urgency whatsoever. Everyone knows that nowadays the train operators are closing the doors as soon as people are getting off the train. Act like you have somewhere to go, please.
My amazing ability to ignore everything is a great skill and when I fail at it, I am extremely disappointed in myself. I literally have been able to ignore two earthquakes, a hurricane, annoying females arguing, lol, and an elephant in the room. Dead ass, I woke up one morning and didn’t know why everyone was not talking. Not only was I wide awake for it, because usually I’m sleep, I was in the middle of it. I blame Amy Ruth’s. I don’t know about you, but after waiting in that line all I ever do is stare towards the kitchen waiting for waffles.
Tila Tequila is snorting Ambien. I told y’all it’s an aphrodisiac. Try some Ambien and see how horny you get.
Hurricane DC – Last night, I would be on the way home from my mother’s crib when it starts raining cows and hogs.
Living In the now, forget about the past, not thinking about the future. I may not make it there.
Life is Good, God is good. Excuse the long Morning Mail.
Monday, July 12, 2010
[Abby suddenly yanks him out of the hot air balloon basket from behind]
(Source: The Ugly Truth)
I know it’s not the morning anymore, I was busy.
I’m still upset at the Spaniards.
Lady pushing a stroller on metro has on hip hugger jeans from like 2003, I can see her butt crack. You ever see a woman with a kid and think to yourself, “I see why you have a kid”?
What is it about a stripper that makes it appealing to put a tattoo on your ass?
Kobe Bryant is the best player in the NBA right now. This is not up for discussion anymore. Anyone who argues that is just not watching basketball.
Nick, that guy is on the low, or he’s just under the age of 24. The skinny jeans and ice creams generation can now drink legally.
Why must every young boy insist on looking like Lil Wayne? And falling miserably short.
For Halloween I’m going to be an Avatar. I’m looking for blue paint now. I’m winning every contest, so don’t anyone steal my idea.
Life is good. God is good.
Now more than ever I need suggestions for article topics. So send them over.
Friday, July 9, 2010
John Clasky: Well. Well, if it's anything on your end, imagine over here. Scratch that. The last thing you want to hear is someone going off on your looks.
Flor Moreno: Don't be crazy. Tell me EVERY detail.
John Clasky: Okay. Okay, I will.
Flor Moreno: [Settles in to listen. Places chin in hand] Uh-hmm.
John Clasky: They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink, so you don't miss anything. And all of that, and you're YOU.
John Clasky: I mean...
John Clasky: Look, forgive me. It's just you are DROP DEAD, CRAZY GORGEOUS! So much so that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here.
Flor Moreno: [Whisper] Soon, please.
Now that we all know where LeBron is going, let us move on.
They plan to drop a bunch of cement on the hole in the sea and the oil spill will be over.
Michael Steele please sit down! I’m trying to help you keep your job but you have to stop talking.
Do you know anyone who works three or more jobs to make ends meet? I do. (Selling three types of drugs does not count, sit down.)
I’m trying to figure out if Drake is still in love with Alicia. Does anyone know? I mean, his album should be called [Whatever the area code is in Toronto] & HeartBreak. But at the same time, how you looking for love but texting a jumpoff you got pregnant? What you arguing about?
Where is Jay-Z?
Where is Kobe Bryant?
Has anybody seen Bobby Brown lately?
All I see is fireworks… I kind of want to blow something up this weekend. Like set a big pile of trash on fire. I was thinking Congress. I’m just kidding though… seriously.
Life is good. God is good.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
(Source: Vanilla Sky)
I get very grumpy when it takes me almost 2 hours to get to work in the morning.
Boys have nothing to talk about other than LeBron and where he’s playing basketball next year. Men on the other hand, we know that no matter where he plays it won’t pay any of our bills.
I can tell when a dude is trying to cop a feel on a packed train. And why is your backpack in my face, I had to push off on a guy numerous times today until he realized that I was shoving his bag out my face.
DMX is on twitter, I won’t give you his handle, but he screams on twitter talking in all CAPS. This is weird to me…
I just seen this video from out in Oakland of this police officer… despicable.
I hope you guys are checking out Summers In Miami, I think I’m dropping a new episode every Wednesday.
Have you noticed that people go to twitter, ESPN, and blogs before they even go to CNN in the morning?
I got to go, I got work to do today. I’m going to take advantage of the fact that Most is handling the comments over at SBM.
I get so excited because I try and surround myself with talented people who can help me make it to the next level. I’m hoping to make it to the next level by the fall. We’re an Army, better yet a Navy.
Life is good. God is good.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
504: What are you up to?
305: At Liv, getting ready to leave. What are you doing?
504: Leaving Mansion. Did you still want to link up?
305: Yeah… where?
I had no clue where we were going to end up all I knew is that I needed to get out of the club and onto the road very quickly. When I get to my car I notice a new MMS message, it’s a picture with the caption, “Hurry up, I’m waiting.” Problem is, I didn’t know where she was waiting for me at. So I text her back and ask where she’s at, no reply. I was scrambling for answers and so I sat in my car for a while to see if she would respond to a second text message.
305: [No response]
Twitter! I bet if I look at her last location on Twitter I will find her. So I log onto Ubertwitter and look for her last message, but her last message just says she’s on I-95. I’m thinking to myself if I drive all the way back to Ft. Lauderdale, I’m not coming back out here to see her tonight. Finally against my better judgment I call, the phone went straight to voicemail. I really despise when women do that. Anyway I start heading home, hot and bothered. I toss the phone in the passenger seat and hit the road. After a while, I check my phone and I get another text message from a random number.
619: Hey, this is 305, my phone died but I’m going to meet you at your house. Is it cool if I bring my friend?
504: Um… yeah that’s cool.
This means that they just want free coke and more alcohol. But this doesn’t mean an absolute lost, but I won’t be getting any tonight. As I pull up to my house I notice an empty car in my driveway. I get out the car and I’m wondering if I left my door open again, or if they found the spare key that I keep under the mat. I go into my condo to find the place exactly how I left it, doesn’t look like anyone is here.
504: Where are you?
619: You’re it.
305 and her friend 619 are someone either in my condo or complex hiding at 4 in the morning, so I go looking for them. I’m pretty sure they aren’t inside because my alarm hadn’t been disabled, so I have to check the complex. There’s only a few places they could be; the gym, the pool, the courtyard or the sun deck. I’ve never been able to find out why once you enter my complex you can enter the pool or gym without any key access, but it’s a gated community with pretty good security. I check the gym first, and I find two sets of clothes, shoes, dresses and panties. But after looking through the whole gym I don’t find any other signs of them. So I walk out to the pool. The pool however is calm as if no one has been in it for hours. The hot tub is off and cool. Just then I hear the gate of the pool slam shut, I turn around but I’m too late. One of them was able to get out. I was run out the gate to see that she’s disappeared into the dark. Now that I know they are moving it gets more interesting.
As a child I was always the best at hide and go seek. It was so bad that people would never like me to be “it” because of my strategy for finding people. I wouldn’t look for anyone. I would hide myself. I would think about where base was and how someone would have to get to base. I’d find a spot along that path and hide and wait and pounce. I decided to wait in the courtyard in a dark corner where a light had went out. I settled into the dark and watched the courtyard carefully. Didn’t take long for me to hear sounds of footsteps and then a silhouette sprinted across the courtyard and came my way. I was hiding near the exit closest to my condo. As she approached I pushed my back all the way against the wall. I could see the outline of her naked body, she walked comfortably, but she panned the courtyard to make sure she wasn’t being followed.
Suddenly she stopped, almost as if she had seen something.
Hiding behind the wall I could only see her shadow as she moved closer to me. I made sure to hold my breath. I could hear her panting. She was on the other side of the pillar, but why did she stop? I wondered if she had seen a shadow of me, however I could feel her naked body getting closer to me. Sort of the way two lovers can feel each other in the dark, I could feel that she had no clothes on and that the thrill of getting caught naked turned her on. Then I could hear her tiptoeing around the pillar, closer and closer to me. Then I heard her whisper loudly, she was whispering to see if 619 was still in the courtyard. She must have heard me. I stayed still, her heavy panting was covering up the sound of my shallow breathing. She kept calling out for 619, but she didn’t reply.
It was at that moment that she made a dash for the tunnel that led to my condo.
Randal Graves: Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself. "I'm not even supposed to be here today."
[throws stuff at Dante]
Randal Graves: You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can waltz in here and do our jobs. You-You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?
(Source: The Clerks)
There’s no way that a person can smell that bad at 8:30AM on the way to work. I’m inclined to believe that he hasn’t showered in weeks.
I watched a special on the porn industry last night and I actually was able to see the errors in her story, she probably should have consulted me first.
No one is watching the World Cup anymore, ain’t that a tragedy.
Roger Federer is the #3 ranked tennis player in the world.
Do you agree in the ideology that if you aren’t going to have sex with that girl, I will?
I took a quiz and it says I have a thing for redheads, then I saw a redhead with a fat ass. I know I don’t have a thing for redheads with fat asses.
If you wonder why I am so fiscally conservative, (not a republican), it boils down to seeing how much money the government wastes on a front line basis.
This will ruffle your feathers; I disagree with the federal government going after Arizona as it pertains to their immigration law. That’s just not good policy.
Nothing scares any man more than the following statement, “I want to have your babies.” In my book this is worse than, “We got to talk.”
I’m starting to find out why my father told me the things he told me about women, as a youth growing up. “You got to manage the expect shit factor. That’s how women are, they want shit, yo’ shit.”
Why thoust eff do people send you paper bills when you pay online? Stop scaring me, I have bill anxiety. My mother says, you got a letter from VZW. I’m on the phone trying to get her to hold it to the light… Meanwhile, I just gave those effers $300 in the last mont’.
Californication debuts on September 11. The best show on premium cable.
Life is good. God is good.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Have you ever noticed that they downplay the fact that Serena is an American in tennis? I mean, they will e like, “Andy Roddick is the last American in the men’s field.” But they won’t ever say “And American Serena Williams has won another Grand Slam.”
Rick Ross is getting sued by the real “Freeway” Ricky Ross. I think Ricky Ross is in jail thinking to himself that he could use some extra money to keep the goons off of him.
Tiger Woods is only giving that woman $100 million instead of $750 million, which being me back to my original point, does anybody remember Sheila Johnson?
Deep down on the inside and I know this comes from a place of hate and disgust, I’m so glad that it looks like the NY Knicks have crapped out of this year’s NBA Free Agency. I truly believe that Amare is not the beast we thought he was. He has been on a decline since the eye injury.
Shutter Island was a crazy movie. I think the key part about the movie for me is that conversation when it is said, “”I’m not crazy.” Doesn’t mean anything does it?”
4th of July – We should always pause and remember Frederick Douglass’s address on What to the Slave is the 4th of July? This year was exceptionally good for me. I’m more proud of myself for spending Monday quietly instead of running back out to party again.
It is hot as Hades in DC. Nothing else I got to say on that.
Am I the only one who notices so many nip slips and upskirts on the train in the morning? I think it’s that women are getting ready in a rush so much that they don’t stop to look at themselves in the mirror from various different angles. But they insist on wearing risqué clothing. Today, this girl had on a wrap dress and a yellow bra, as she stood to the side I could see her nipple hanging out of her bra. All types of wrong, I mean maybe her bra is too small…
Dreams are powerful, that's why I take notes. I had some beautiful dreams this weekend.
As with most weekends that a pool is involved I have to prepare myself for an ear infection or something crazy to happen. The one weakness that Dr. J has is that he is so susceptible to illnesses like clogged ears, water in ears, and ear infections. It really sucks that I’m standing in the baby section of the pharmacy trying to figure out the best solution.
This will be a great week, enjoy it.
Life is good. God is good.