Jack Magnum: Most of you are watching this show so you can learn how to get chicks. Well let me assure you, you're in good hands. You're looking at a man who personally has had sex with over 137 different women, most of the conscious. Now we're here at the balloon festival and I'm supposed to be telling you about how men are full of hot air, but I think we all know it's the ladies that are full of crap! Just because she says "no" doesn't mean she means "no." If that were the case, I'd have only 90 women.
[Abby suddenly yanks him out of the hot air balloon basket from behind]
(Source: The Ugly Truth)
I know it’s not the morning anymore, I was busy.
I’m still upset at the Spaniards.
Lady pushing a stroller on metro has on hip hugger jeans from like 2003, I can see her butt crack. You ever see a woman with a kid and think to yourself, “I see why you have a kid”?
What is it about a stripper that makes it appealing to put a tattoo on your ass?
Kobe Bryant is the best player in the NBA right now. This is not up for discussion anymore. Anyone who argues that is just not watching basketball.
Nick, that guy is on the low, or he’s just under the age of 24. The skinny jeans and ice creams generation can now drink legally.
Why must every young boy insist on looking like Lil Wayne? And falling miserably short.
For Halloween I’m going to be an Avatar. I’m looking for blue paint now. I’m winning every contest, so don’t anyone steal my idea.
Life is good. God is good.
Now more than ever I need suggestions for article topics. So send them over.