Morning Mail - 7.7.10

Dante Hicks: You know what the real tragedy about all this is? I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Randal Graves: Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself. "I'm not even supposed to be here today."
[throws stuff at Dante]
Randal Graves: You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can waltz in here and do our jobs. You-You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?
(Source: The Clerks)

There’s no way that a person can smell that bad at 8:30AM on the way to work. I’m inclined to believe that he hasn’t showered in weeks.

I watched a special on the porn industry last night and I actually was able to see the errors in her story, she probably should have consulted me first.

No one is watching the World Cup anymore, ain’t that a tragedy.

Roger Federer is the #3 ranked tennis player in the world.

Do you agree in the ideology that if you aren’t going to have sex with that girl, I will?

I took a quiz and it says I have a thing for redheads, then I saw a redhead with a fat ass. I know I don’t have a thing for redheads with fat asses.

If you wonder why I am so fiscally conservative, (not a republican), it boils down to seeing how much money the government wastes on a front line basis.

This will ruffle your feathers; I disagree with the federal government going after Arizona as it pertains to their immigration law. That’s just not good policy.

Nothing scares any man more than the following statement, “I want to have your babies.” In my book this is worse than, “We got to talk.”

I’m starting to find out why my father told me the things he told me about women, as a youth growing up. “You got to manage the expect shit factor. That’s how women are, they want shit, yo’ shit.”

Why thoust eff do people send you paper bills when you pay online? Stop scaring me, I have bill anxiety. My mother says, you got a letter from VZW. I’m on the phone trying to get her to hold it to the light… Meanwhile, I just gave those effers $300 in the last mont’.

Californication debuts on September 11. The best show on premium cable.

Life is good. God is good.