Monday, August 24, 2009

Morning Mail - 08.24.09

Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
(Source: Annie Hall)

Today is my father’s birthday.

Last since Tuesday before last I have been totally out of pocket with an immense amount of work at the job. This is a sign that those things are getting better.

Today’s trip on Metro just reminded me of life goals. I cannot be on Metro in ten years dragging myself to work everyday through that mess and with the amount of hot messes that are on Metro.

I cannot work in a room when people want to have a meeting in my workspace. But they are also offended when I put on headphones. I am about to move.

For the record, I didn’t go out this weekend. Well, I did, but I didn’t.

And that’s also my plan for this upcoming weekend.

Be back later.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Morning Mail - 08.11.09

Thomas Reynolds: We never dealt with domestic. With us, it was always war. We won the war. Now we're fighting the peace. It's a lot more volatile. Now we've got ten million crackpots out there with sniper scopes, sarin gas and C-4. Ten-year-olds go on the Net, downloading encryption we can barely break, not to mention instructions on how to make a low-yield nuclear device. Privacy's been dead for years because we can't risk it. The only privacy that's left is the inside of your head. Maybe that's enough. You think we're the enemy of democracy, you and I? I think we're democracy's last hope.

Brill: Fort Meade has 18 acres of mainframe computers underground. You're talking to your wife on the phone and you use the word "bomb", "president", "Allah", any of a hundred keywords, the computer recognizes it, automatically records it, red-flags it for analysis. That was 20 years ago.
Brill: In the old days, we actually had to tap a wire into your phone line. Now with calls bouncing off satellites, they snatch'em right out of the air.

(Source: Enemy of the State)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Morning Mail - 08.10.09

Nick: I just feel like she's messing with me.
Thom: Who are you talking about?
Nick: Right now, Norah. No, Tris. Tris.
Thom: You just haven't figured it out yet, have you.
Nick: What?
Thom: ...The big picture!
Nick: I guess not.
Thom: The Beatles.
Nick: What about them?
Thom: This.
[grabs Nick's hand]
Thom: Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand.
[Gay couple passes holding hands and smiles at them]
Nick: I'm gonna stop right now.
(Source: Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist)

I had a moment of clarity somewhere in between leaving Spiked Sundays at around 6PM and this morning around 9AM, when this moment of clarity subsided. Some people just have to go. I’ve found that some people just always pull, just pull, just pull, just pull, pull, pull, pull at you and never really give anything. They give you $1 and act like that $1 is worth you giving them a million bucks. They can be dismissed.

Woke up this morning, watching the Today show, some highlights include:

I think that Kate Gosselin is full of crap and I wish her nothing but the worse. Like ever today on the Today show, I was just watching and looking at her demeanor and I was like, you are an evil woman. Plus, her husband is happy, she should find a way to be happy too. The whole reason why he left her is because she’s evil and never seems to be happy. She treats her children like she’s Joe Jackson.

This lady tried to kill her husband. What’s really funny is her denying it when they have her on tape talking to an undercover cop about the whole thing. That’s just simply hilarious to me. Her husband who was a convicted felon, but released, was totally surprised. Sheeeeeit. I refuse to believe you marry somebody and don’t know that their ass is crazy like that.

It’s going to be scorcher today and of course I have to be running around this city for crap all day. I need to stay hydrated, but hopefully, I’ll get home by 5PM.

On the elevator this morning, this fat lady walks on the elevator, there are already two people on there. She manages to some how graze us both on her entrance and turning around. Then she tries to get into her purse for something, it’s at this point that she’s clearly all over the two of us in the elevator, so I say, “Geez.” The other lady in the elevator starts laughing. The fat lady says, “Hmph.” So I reply, “I mean come on now.”

The Weekend was great, I will post a recap soon.

Lig and Gig.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Reason Why I Haven't Seen Weezy Yet

Anyone who knows me, knows that Lil’ Wayne has been my favorite rapper since about 2001. Freshman year of college I used to get in hip hop debates and tout off that Lil’ Wayne would be the best rapper in the game one day. No one believed me, until 2007, when he was. I just knew it. Having seen him as a part of the Cash Money tour in DC at the MCI Center (now the Verizon Center) I knew the kid had a delivery, lyrical ability and demeanor that would propel him to the best. And then came Tha Carter II…

There was time he was at Love

I was there with my friend Colin. Colin was the one who got married in Vegas not too long ago. We managed to wait in line for like an hour to get in. We got good spots and were ready to wait until 1AM when Wayne would finally show up and start performing. He got a text/call from his girlfriend, Carrie, asking him to come to VA to spend time with her at this place, Fast Eddie’s. Fast Eddie’s might be the wackest place on earth. Knowing that he was really into this chick, I didn’t even hesitate, we left Love and went to VA. He ended up marrying Carrie. And I would later find out that she really appreciated that the entire time they were together.

There was the time he was at H20

I was talking to my friends about this concert for a month. But at this time, no one was messing with H2O, I’m not lying, my crew does not go to places like H2O, it’s too hood. It’s like a Lycra convention in that place. Despite all that I was still about to chalk it up and go. And then I was convinced otherwise. There’s never a good reason to go to H2O dolo. (dolo=alone)

There was the time he was in Baltimore

He was at the Virgin Music Festival in Baltimore, and I was going to go then. Tickets were $100 and he would only be performing a short set, but still I wanted to go. Again, friends went Stunt 101 on me and said the tickets were too expensive when we would spend most of the day listening to rock bands and ish. #FAIL

There was the time he was in Orlando

I was in Orlando on business and he was performing at a downtown club. So I tried to convince a few of my cool coworkers to go down there with me. However, we went out once in Orlando to this spot Blue Martini and the bartenders schooled me early. The club that the concert was at they had like four shootings in the last month. And after realizing I was going to be going dolo again, I had to fall back.

There was the time he was at Love… again

AND then he was at Love again, but at this point, my friends were like oh we not going back to Love again. Yep, that’s how it is out here now. People are like, we do not have any desire to go back to Love. I mean, I can understand that, but I was like, but it’s Wayne man… Anyway, didn’t go to that joint either. And I heard that he performed for like 90 minutes, and my homie, actually let me stop, Up&Coming Buppie ( went and took all these pictures up close with the guy. ARRGGGG!

And then there is today…

I got one email that said, Lil’ Wayne will be at Nissan Pavilion on August 8th, prolly like two and half months ago. I bought my ticket then. I said, all y’all can NOT go, but I’m going, dolo if I got to. People been asking me for a month if I bought my ticket, I’m like, yep, I bought mine a minute ago. I didn’t waste no time. Actually, I think I bought my ticket June 20th. I was like, I’m going to get on the good foot and get out there. So God willing, I’m heading out of here at like 4, get some tailgating in, get throwed… and go in there to see Weezy.

Point of information, I currently have 86 hours of Weezy on my iTunes. This is not a coincidence.

Morning Mail - 08.07.09

Misunderstood aint gotta be explained
But you don't understand me so let me explain
Stood in the heat, the flames, the snow
please slow down hurricane
The wind blow, my dreads swang
He had hair like wool, like wayne
dropping ashes in the bible
i shake em out and they fall on the rifle
scary, hail mary no tale fairy
all real very, extraordinary
perry mason facing, the barrel if he tattle
my God is my judge, no gown no gavel
i'm a rebel, down to battle
now or never, i would never in the ever
f**king fantastic, f**k if you agree im bright
but i don't give a f**k if you see me
(Source: Misunderstood – Lil Wayne)

I deserved to get throwed tonight.

I gotta feeling tonight’s gonna be a great.

Can’t even express life in words, so I’ll just not.

Lig and Gig.

PS – Don’t ever question my credibility in a blog ever again. I will not answer so nicely next time.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Morning Mail - 08.06.09

Eve Batiste: [while dusting off the pictures of Mozelle's late husbands] Which one did you love best?
Mozelle Batiste Delacroix: I don't know, Eve. They was all different. Anderson was the handsomest man I had ever seen. Your Uncle Harry, he was the sweetest. And Maynard....Maynard loved me most of all. You know, when I was your age, before I ever did the counseling, I could look at people, complete strangers, and see their whole lives so clear. But when I looked at each of my husbands, I never saw a thing. That's how it always is. Blind to my own life.
(Source: Eve’s Bayou)

When’s the last time you sat back and thought about why you were with all the people in your past?

Today is “B*tch I wish you would” Thursdays

The question, where will you be in five years? It’s always been hard for me to answer because I kind of like to go where the wind takes me. And throughout my life, things like school, or class, haven’t really kept me out of any rooms that I wanted to be in. I know that where I am now will not be where I am in 5 years, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what I would be doing. However, I will do my best to be in Miami.

Can anyone explain to me why so many women are pregnant in the summer? I just don’t get it.

Sidenote, you ever seen an ugly baby? Isn’t the funniest when people are like, “He’s so adorable.” Meanwhile, I’m in the back thinking, I hope he can play sports.

So this girl on my team has pneumonia, Jesus Christ! That’s a horrible illness to have. Looks like she will miss 2-3 weeks unless a miracle comes about. I wish her well.

It’s Thursday, and as, William so eloquently said, “which means the weekend is here, in my eyes. ”Without further ado, let’s go.

Did anybody see Prince Fielder trying to get into the Dodgers locker room? Big boy was moving!

I will not be out tonight, but I will be at Park next Thursday. So you can put me down tentative for arrival at around six-thuuuuurdy.

Why does this city insist on raining?

I think that 75% of the problems Black folk have are because of Black folk.

I understand the need for some people to possess firearms, but I just don’t see the need in urban areas of America. A lot of people have this all messed up.

Why is doing laundry such a daunting task?

The 6 Most Raunchiest Most Depraved Sex Acts from the Bible, simply hilarious:

Quick think… where is your Bible? If you have to think too long, you need Jesus.

Lig and Gig.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Those Who Do Not Qualify, Should Not Apply

Somewhere in the Get Over Series over at the First Baptist Church of, i've neglected to really point out some things that are unilateral across gender. Today, I was talking to my neighbor about this on my way to work. We were discussing two females, neither one of them can find men. Now the thing is, one of these women is crazy, so she has an excuse. The other one, well she has no excuse. I can look at several of my guy friends and I can say, well he's just a herb, so he has an excuse. And others, they have no excuses. It all comes down to this, "we all have lists for Mr. Right or Ms. Right, but have we considered that Mr./Ms. Right has a list too. And we probably don't qualify." - My Neighbor

I agree wholeheartedly. I haven't had time to be the Doc, so let me offer some advice. This is for both of you, men and women. Here's why this situation happens:

1) People don't see the room for improvement - They sit around and think they are just fine the way God made them. And we live in an ungodly world and some of that ungodliness has rubbed off on all of us. there is room for improvement and if you are not trying to better yourself, then you are missing the point.

2) People are vindictive - This is a human flaw. We are mad about something in the past and we are determined to exact our revenge. Or we are determined to not let that go. Here's what ends up happening, you take that anger out on the wrong person for your own personal satisfaction. And it might not be craziness, but it may be an emotional slight that you give your new partner. You do not want your partner to know how much you care for them because the last time you did that, they flipped out and things went downhill from there.

3) People have unrealistic standards - "How you got high expectations and low patience." - Common. Could not have said it better myself. I've always been a fan of really evaluating what is unrealistic and what is settling. When I tell a coachee that I think they have unrealistic expectations, i'm not advising that they settle, i'm saying, why are you wasting time on an option that's more than likely never going to give you what you want? Realize your reality. (Damn, i'm saving that, "Realize your reality." That's some good ish.) It will take you far in every facet of your life, including your love life.

Lastly, the thing about these three points are that it affects your vision. Most people who suffer from any of these flaws, can't even see that there is a problem. A lot of say, I know I can better myself. But that doesn't mean they think they need to do so. Or that they are dedicated to doing so. No one wants to be alone. They may not want to be in a relationship, may not want to be married, but no one wants to be regulated to only random hookups or sleeping alone to the point that they grow cobwebs. (Let me tell you a secret, sex is NOT like riding a bike, it's like a sport. If you get away from it for too long, it takes time to get back to your all-star status.)

I do want to make sure that I do not neglect to really corral the point here. The point is that you need to see that the person in the mirror is at least 50% of the problem, and if you find a guy who you think is perfect for you and he doesn't want you, then that person in the mirror is probably 100% of the problem.

Morning Mail - 08.05.09

Rannulph Junnah: Now, the question on the table is how drunk is drunk enough? And the answer is that it's all a matter of brain cells
Hardy Greaves: Brain cells?
Rannulph Junnah: That's right Hardy. You see every drink of liquor you take kills a thousand brain cells. Now that doesn't much matter 'cos we got billions more. And first the sadness cells die so you smile real big. And then the quiet cells go so you just say everything real loud for no reason at all. That'ok, that's ok because the stupid cells go next, so everything you say is real smart. And finally, come the memory cells. These are tough sons of bitches to kill.

(Source: Legend of Bagger Vance)

It’s been a challenge lately, I’ve taken a break from a lot of my outside of work, outside of play duties, and now I’m just getting back into them. It’s like I have a lot of free time, but I don’t want to commit time that I don’t want to commit. I went to a meeting last night, and after just one meeting I was like, listen, I’m going to start leaving after 90 minutes, meetings that go on for 3 hours are unacceptable.

I didn’t renew my car insurance, so any cars I crash from here on out, they’re just lost.

Really excited about the concert on Friday, can’t express my excitement in words.

This is supposedly some type of Kappa weekend in DC, I have a tradition… when it’s not a weekend of an organization I’m a part of, I tend to fall off the face of the planet. I’m not paying $40 to get into some Kappa party this weekend. I’m no Kappa and not a Kappa groupie either.

You will probably see me in Adams this weekend.

I’m teetering on the brink of the Black History Month… (I call Black History Month when Dr. J decides that it’s pointless for him to go out and he starts staying in all the time. Only stepping out to low key events where there are no people who might know him at.)

Today on the train I see three small Asian kids, I think they were Filipino. They were knocked out from Silver Spring until Gallery Place, I’m thinking to myself, where did these kids come from?

This fat lady on the train today is going to stand in the doorway and lean on the glass. I felt so sorry for that glass. That sumbitch was squeaking from Fort Totten until Metro Center.

I hate the humidity in DC, it’s just overwhelming at times.

I’m trying to think of a nice Fall vacation spot. I have a wedding to go to in the Outer Banks in the early fall. Perhaps, I’ll just extend my time there. I also might want to check out New Orleans… I don’t know. Chances are I end up right back in Atlanta.

Lig and Gig.
Will Metro ever go back to normal? Two new blogs today and the morning mail before 1045. Ok maybe 1100.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Morning Mail - 08.04.09

Dewey: How do you know that my dimwitted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation, used to lower people's expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?
(Source: Scream 2)

Happy Birthday Mr. President.
Not much to report from yesterday. I already posted the Negro days of the week.

I want to pause and thank all of you guys who read my blogs, for I really appreciate your support.

I’m putting together the Dynasty Football League today.

Anybody got some links for flag football in DC/MD/VA?

Rooftop Happy Hour in Bethesda is pretty BAWSE. (Thursdays)

I got a feeling that tonight’s going to be a great night! (Not really, I just like that song.)

I know a lot of people don’t watch, but has anyone seen these secret videos of MJ with his kids that have been released. He shows that he’s such a great father in them. Glad to see that side of him coming out now.

True… real talk, just plan a happy hour and I’ll be there, you are going to stop calling me an old man. We need to hit up Stan’s at Vermont and L. (Not yet though, I find out about my raise soon, and I’m fasting until then.) (Don’t judge me, it works every year.)

Chris Brown is allegedly still seeing Rihanna. That guy thinks he’s invincible. Why wouldn’t he? He beat up his girlfriend and spent no time in jail. He is invincible. But let’s all take heed, sometimes we feel invincible and we are not, only God is.

Lig and Gig.

I get so anxious when I think about this weekend.

The Negro Days of the Week

It is only necessary that we make the Negro days of the week. This is literally how Black folk feel each day of the week. If you don't get it, then you need to read Souls of Black Folk or Miseducation of the Negro.... again.

These are the days of the week:
"I'll get there when I get there" Mondays or "F*ck it" Mondays
"I can't stand yo ass" Tuesdays
"When I get good and ready" Wednesdays
"Bitch I wish you would" Thursdays
"I'm out this bitch" fridays or "Please stop talking so loud" Fridays

Honorable Mention:
"Aint this bout a bitch?!" Performance Review days
"F*ck you. Pay me." Paydays

Now you know... let your co-workers know so they are on the same page.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Totally Freaked Out

Little story, that I thought was important to share today. I actually have this situation in my book as a chapter. But here is the high-level synopsis.

There was a time before when I met this girl. She went to another school. My relationship with this girl was very interesting. It’s important to note that I went through great lengths to be around this girl. I would road trip on weekdays to her school just to talk to her face to face. I would pay for her to get to me in college. I would do just about anything. And for someone who hated being on the phone, I would talk to her for hours. I really am an in-person type of guy, so to always be on the phone with this girl was like… I must have been bit by a serious cupid love bug.

She lived in Chicago and I knew that once she went home and I went home that I would start to commence on a relationship of actually trying to be with this girl. And I would do any and everything to see her as soon as possible. I hated the fact that someone had that type of control over me. So I was sitting in my crib one day and I picked up my phone and I just deleted her number. I freaked out because I really really liked a person. And that feeling really bothered me, caused me to act irrational. I didn’t want someone to have that type of control over me. To be honest, I saw myself falling in love with this girl, and couldn’t see any type of foreseeable end except in marriage.

From time to time, I think about that girl. And up until recently I never regretted that decision.

This blog will make sense in the future. Right now, I just needed to get the story off my chest.

Morning Mail - 08.03.09

Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Author's Note: Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.
(Source: (500) Days of Summer)

Judge: Dr. J, would you please tell the court what’s going on with you?
Dr. J: Today on the train, I saw this bad (bad meaning good) girl, and the only thing I could think of was, “Would you please get out the way I’m trying to get to work?”

I can’t call it.

I figured out my plan for healthcare. It’s amazing I was able to bring the two sides together in my head, but they can’t do it on Capitol Hill. I’m convinced that all the government is hustlers.

I had a great time in NYC this weekend.

The Summit was a good success, glad to have every line represented.

I saw 500 days of Summer. Excellent movie. Wish I could pull down some quotes, I’ll keep looking while I’m reading the mail. Found some! The thing about this movie is it really goes in and discusses what happens when two people get together and one makes it clear from up front they are a cold cold person. The best part is really when the chick is trying to explain to dude how after him she met the man she was going to marry and said, "I just met the man, who had everything you didn't." I felt that.

Nas is an idiot.

I heard the Beyonce Vegas show was a flop, I doubt it though.

Binky must go!

There are people displaced all over the world.

We compared it to the Swiss athlete in the 100M track competition at the World Championships. Thanks for coming out. You qualified, but you’re not going to win. I feel the need to tell you this up front.

I got so many blogs to write from the weekend.

Lig and Gig.

Weezy coming soon.
I have this dream of success. I'm trying to figure out how to get there now.