Thursday, July 28, 2011

Why Do Men Fascinate Themselves Over Women They Don’t Know?

I was walking to work today and I did something that I typically do every day on my way to work. I basically mosey over to and I find a photo gallery that I haven’t seen in a long time and I open it up and start thinking to myself, “It cannot be fair that a woman looks like this.” I look at my phone’s favorites and it’s filled with models and “models” and recreational picture taker’s personal websites. Forgive me, if you’re looking over my shoulder on the train and want to know, ‘Why in the hell does that man have to be looking at all that on the train this morning?” Personally, I understand that you probably just rolled out of bed, put on your work clothes, did a shoddy job at putting some makeup, if any, on and ran out the door. Sitting down on the Metro train, or standing because I truly think that women should work on standing for long periods of time, (it will help them with raising children), but you look at my BlackBerry and you see some model in a scantily clad bikini on my screen. Quite frankly, I don’t care that it offends you, you’ve got coffee and I’ve got Rosa. Do what works for you to get you up in the morning. It all got me to thinking, why do mean like video vixens so much? It was simple …

They don’t talk.

They don’t make you do anything.

They always look their best.

They haven’t slept with them yet.

If you think I’m lying about any of this, ask a man. Ask a married man, ask a single man, ask a man who’s living with his girl, and I’m telling you each of them will tell you the same thing. I wondered how my youth pastor could sit up in church and say that he had a pact with his wife about Halle Berry after she banged out one of his big headed babies, then I knew. It was because he was fascinated with Halle Berry, he loved his wife. As the famous saying goes, “Love Stinks.”

I can sit with my BlackBerry or my laptop and I’m in full control of that relationship with that model. My friend asked me, “What’s wrong with men?” I said, “Nothing. Why are women predisposed to nagging?” She didn’t have a f*cking answer. She gave me a response something about, because I’ve tried other ways of communicating with him, but it didn’t work so I have to result to asking incessant questions and then I get an answer. I cut her off and say, “but was it the answer you wanted?” You know what she says, “No.” So I said, “so the nagging was pointless.” Set that aside, you ever watch television with a woman? Have you noticed that they can’t be quiet? That’s their style of TV, that’s why Twitter is almost as great as the TV remote, instant replay and DVR; because it gives women an outlet to talk during television without disturbing men. And while I’m on the subject, can I please respectfully ask that you shut up during sporting events? I mean, we know that women don’t like sports, or maybe they don’t mind them, they’re just not into them. But the solution is not to sit next to your man asking questions all game long. And while I’m also on the subject/rant; why do you insist on asking us what is going to happen in a movie if you want to watch the movie? Somebody please explain why women do that.

My video vixens don’t make me do anything but visit their personal websites and potentially follow them on Twitter. That’s the extent of what I have to do. I don’t have to take them anywhere, I don’t have to drive them anywhere, I don’t have to carry anything heavier than my cell phone or TV remote, and I certainly don’t have to buy them anything. Men hate the fact that they have to do stuff in their relationships or for women, period. If you want to know when a man is starting to lose interest it’s when his sentences go from, “Oh we’re going to…” to “Oh I have to…” When you ask a man what he is doing this weekend and all his responses start with, “The girl has to…” or “[his girl’s name here] is going…” he’s done for, that relationship is like a well done steak, cooked and dry.

There are men who will tell you that they don’t want their woman dressed up like a diva all the time? That’s true, they wouldn’t mind seeing you in lingerie, a bikini, yoga pants, leggings, or anything else that may be more comfortable, but still makes you attractive. My boy was dating a chick and once they moved in together he said, “I came home one day and I didn’t recognize her, I really didn’t. I only knew her because she was in my house. She had on super sweats, her hair was wet and pulled in a bun, she had no makeup on, glasses and she was sitting on the couch eating cereal at 6PM. She tried to hug me, but all I could give was one arm.” I told him that was a casualty of war. Once you get an old lady, she starts to let it slip. Now most women won’t admit to letting it slip, because they define slipping as the EXTREME – gaining 30 pounds, or never wearing makeup again. But to me, if when you first started seeing each other she was dressing like a diva each time and every time you took off her clothes she had on lingerie; the second that is not what she does each time anymore … that means she’s slipping.

I shouldn’t have to be the one to break this to you, but it should come as no surprise that once a man starts sleeping with a woman he loses some interest in her. This don’t mean that he might not carry on to have a great relationship with her, or one day marry her. It means that he starts to lose interest in her to some extent. He’s no longer on the chase, his task is different. He is viewing things from a maintenance mode instead of a building and setup mode. When you’re fantasizing about women you don’t know, you don’t have any love lost because you’ll keep wondering what it would be like to sleep with them until you do, or they release a sex tape. A sex tape can go either way, it can either ruin your reputation or it can send it into an extra gear. I look at Rob Kardashian, (despite wanting to kill him, even though I think he’s the coolest on Keeping up with the Kardashians), and I think, I bet you he views Rosa as just another girl. He tapped that, and it was even rumored he got her pregnant. I think about that and I realize that any other model could be the same way.

But that won’t stop men from thinking about them incessantly.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Morning Mail – 7.25.11

The man said 'why do you think you here'
I said 'I got no idea
I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby
so I always keep a bottle near'
He said 'I just think you're depressed,
this me, yeah baby, and the rest'

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know

I don't ever wanna drink again
I just ooh I just need a friend
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks
have everyone think I'm on the mend

It's not just my pride
It's just 'til these tears have dried
(Source: Rehab, Amy Winehouse)

What is it about the age 27? Is there really some large propensity for people to die at the age of 27, or have these artists just all decided to call it quits at the same age for some unspoken reason. Jimi, Janis, Jim Morrison, Robert Johnson, Kurt Cobain, and for a more complete list, read here:

I have never been more anxious to wisen up and get my ass to 28 before something goes wrong for the kid.

I’m going to come back to this in a second, but there is something about people drinking and being near water that always baffles me. Do you know how many African-Americans cannot swim? A recent study showed that somewhere between 60-70% of Black folk can’t swim. So over the weekend someone asks me, “How does someone drown in 3 feet of water?” And I said, “Easily, they were drunk.” I’m all for a few adult beverages by the pool, but as a former lifeguard let me just say that alcohol and water might mix, but drunk and water do not mix. Alcohol affects your balance, judgment, reflexes and respiratory system. Throw on top of all that the alarming percentages of Black people who can’t swim and I’ll never understand why Hennessy is at a pool party.

I didn’t really get who Amy Winehouse was for a long time, in fact it wasn’t until a friend of mine played Tears Dry On Their Own for me that I realized that she was very talented. I listened to just that song all the time. I didn’t really want to buy into the Amy fad, but with time, I found that Back In Black was on my iPod. Not just the regular version, but the instrumentals and a live version too. I came to appreciate Amy for her music, addiction and the way she came to grips with all of it.

Blake Fielder-Civil might have been more toxic than Pete Doherty was to Kate Moss. Blake is allegedly sober now, I’m happy he saved himself. Pete Doherty can’t convince anyone he’s sober, and Kate Moss can only breathe through one nostril now. So I guess that’s that.

This all brings me to my last point about music and drugs. I think that there’s two people that I want to highlight here before I move on, Frank Ocean and The Weeknd. With the exception of those who spend most of their time talking about marijuana all those other musicians who constantly talk about drugs are dead or have had serious problems. I hope that we don’t look up in a few years and say, “Damn Frank Ocean could have been great if he would have chilled on the cocaine.” To each his own, he’s more than free to do what he pleases, I just hope that don’t end up being the route he takes.

Friday, July 22, 2011

My Response to a Comment Recently...

I don’t normally do this, but I thought that this comment warranted being posted.  This is from a post, Why Are All The Pretty Girls Married?  A commenter said the following and then I responded to her.  Many times, you guys get the jovial me, but rarely the intellectual.  This was my response to her.

BreeBree said:

So how do you explain Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez constantly being able to get men but not being able to keep them??????

Men can be sooooooooooooo azz backwards…..I hope they grow up before it’s too little too late.

Yes it makes perfect sense that u desire a beautiful woman…I desire a fine azz cut up like LL type brotha; however besides something “pretty” to look at what else can that pretty woman offer you?

Honestly I think a lotta brotha’s nowadays want an easy like sunday morning yes woman…

My bff is gorgeous…she was a model for Ebony and Jet and is now a successful nurse. She has a Masters from NYU so obviously smart, funny and just as beautiful inside as she is outside….yet she is still single in her mid 30′s like me.

I told her one day the deep down real reason we’re single is because we simply don’t put up with half the bullsh** from men that other women put up with.

One observation I’ve made is that the women I know who are married and in long lasting relationships have had some bad miserable times and put up with mad bullsh** from men…not always cheating but lying about money and being taken for granted and verbally abused…

to continue my comments…..
My point is that men typically suffer some type of consequence many times from being with a “societal beauty” but will still go for them every time….ie Jamie Foxx “Tell Me Why I Always Fall For Your Type” song.

It would seem that men (and women who go for the prettyboys) would learn from those mistakes…apparently they don’t though……hence they will suffer through the same things with each new person…oh well….such is life….*smile*

My Response:

Let me preface by saying, I think you’re scorned. There are several reasons that you and your bff are single. Let me break this down from a intellectual standpoint because you’ve decided to miss most of the satire in this post and taken it there.

1) There’s overwhelming evidence that as Black women in America, the more education you gain, the more you will decrease your chances for finding a partner. I don’t see that as negatively as it sounds, but the perfect example is that, you test out of a grade and now you’re put ahead, but you lack social peers. That’s what’s happening to Black women in America.

2) You’re in your mid-thirties. Men are and always have been more likely to date younger women, women between the ages of 22-26. It’s a very alarming fact, but it’s true.

3) Halle Berry and J. Lo have been widely used as an example for “you can be pretty but you can’t keep a man”. Simply put, their selection is bad. And the fact of the matter is, Halle can keep a man, she just can’t stay married to them. To rebut your argument about Halle and Jennifer, I simply ask you this, “If they were to extend their hand on a New York City street as if they were asking for a cab, but were asking for a boyfriend, would they have any trouble doing so?” Nope, none at all. They can find men, they can keep men, but if your selection process is off, or long term companionship is not something you hold paramount it won’t work.

4) Men actually don’t marry the pretty girl, they marry the one that makes them comfortable. Boys marry the pretty girl. In life, there are various types of male characters. You have the ones who are obsessed with possessions. They drive nice cars, have nice jobs, nice vacations, they have plaques for their achievements, and they look for trophy wives. They may find them, but those women may also turn out to be vapid. Then you have men who go out there and look for companionship in a mate. Most of the men I keep the company with we always ask ourselves this same question when evaluating a mate, “Can you logically see yourself dealing with that for the next 50 years of your life?” Peep game, we’re looking for companions and we’re not looking at the outlook of a possible divorce.

4b) Are all the pretty girls married? No. I know several who are not. I attribute this to; as I said before, selection, I also attribute this to desires and wants, some women just don’t want to be married at this point in their life. That decision may be subconscious as many women will tell you they want a man in their life, but their lifestyles and habits do nothing to suggest they want a man.

5) You will get nowhere blaming men for why you are single. You are single because you desire to be single. Do men need to grow up, possibly. But more important than that, is that your comment speaks to the fact that you yourself need to grow up. Not a single companionship has been built by spewing accusations and placing blame on the other gender. Men are not “ass backwards”, the person who thinks that men are “ass backwards” is ass backwards. Women must make critical decisions in their dating lives they must decide: (1) Do you know what’s best for the man, or does he know what’s best for him? (2) If men are so dumb, why can’t you figure them out? (3) If men are “ass backwards,” what are you doing to help the situation? Are you standing by and complaining or are you out there trying to make a difference?

5b) I’m not bragging, not boasting this is just the way it is. I get tired of belaboring on why relationships fail and why women are this and that. You know what I did? I took it to the streets. I set up a happy hour for people to come and get dating advice, I talk to women, I am open minded and hear both sides. And not just women, but I talk to men. I’m trying to bridge the gap. Trust me, if you walked in your doctor’s office and he diagnosed you and walked out, you’d be upset. Don’t diagnose the problem and neglect to write a prescription or teach a remedy. Do something about it. If you internalize this response to your comment, I can almost guarantee that you will not be single in the next 12 months of your life.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Once the Infatuation Stage Fades Away

We’d all like to think that our relationships will always be bliss, but they won’t. They never are. I look at relationships in stages; greeting, courting, infatuation, shake out, comfort zone, stop saving that seat, and finally doors closing. Many of us never really break our relationships down into those stages, but they truly do exist. They are different for men and women too. Most women don’t come into a relationship thinking that he’s the one; they are skeptical, but optimistic. As a man, I go into a relationship thinking that I will not accept failure as an option. The inability of a man to fail is one thing that is his best ally and enemy.

Women are typically the last to experience the infatuation stage and they stay in it the longest. As a man, we have to be forward thinking at all times. Plus, our courting is often times structured incorrectly in which we place our relationship goals on things that are probably not the best to ensure success. We meet a girl and then we say, “I want that to be my girl” or we say, “I want to sleep with that girl.” A man is infatuated with this girl, he’s enamored beyond belief. He spends most of his time thinking about her and even when he’s talking to his boys he takes one of two approaches. Either he speaks about her non-stop, almost as if he’s planned out the entire relationship before she’s even called him back. I’ve been guilty of this. Or he says nothing at all about her, because he doesn’t want to jinx it. I’m guilty of this too. If he stays on his p’s and q’s sooner or later he’ll achieve his goal. And shortly thereafter, he’ll say to himself, “I’m no longer infatuated with this girl, it’s time for the next stage.” But the next stage could be a long-term relationship, or the next step could be the next girl.

Women on the other hand have a peaceful reserve when approaching relationships. They may fantasize about a guy, but they are not truly infatuated until they’ve cleared him off their background investigations. The background investigation is always about one thing, “What does he really want?” There are some women who don’t do this, and they are hopeless romantics. We all have friends like them and we shake our heads at them because they are likely to assume they are in a relationship with a guy when he won’t even show up to a happy hour that she invites him to, or at least text to say he can’t make it. But for the most part most women don’t get in the infatuation stage until they let their guard down. I always tell people that women have thicker skin than we’d like to believe they are more experienced at disappointment and heartbreak than most men. Therefore, they are better trained to deal with it than us; one of the ways that they deal with disappointment is by keeping their guard up. But once that guard comes down, they quickly enter the infatuation stage.

Now for a few weeks, both are in the infatuation stage. They do all the things that new couples do, they love spending time together, they love touching each other, they don’t argue (most men concede arguments here, it’s called taking a dive, I’ve talked about this before), but you get the point, things are great, others refer to this as bliss. I’m going to be honest with you, I can tell you how you can tell if a man is infatuated with a girl; he does shit he does not like to do without complaining about it.

1) He cuddles – I don’t even recommend men use this word.
2) He uses pet names, or accepts them – He has no clue how far this rabbit hole goes.
3) He compromises his previous habits for hers – I’m talking about when she spends the night on a Saturday and you wake up on Sunday and don’t watch football. A few people know what I mean.
4) He does not bitch – Tell me how men can spend all their time bitching about what women do and then when they’re in a relationship, all of sudden it’s all love. Because he’s full of shit.

Then this happens…

In order for things to go smoothly, the man must go to the next stage and prepare a bed for them both to lay in. The shake out will come, it’s inevitable, but they cannot meet there at the same time. When the shake out comes, arguments of Lord of the Rings III status will come out. If you’ve ever been with a girl for longer than a year you know that around months 6-12, you get in some arguments that will shake the very foundation of which you thought you built. Most couple tend to step into this at the same time and they fail miserably. So the man while sitting on the couch one day snuggled up with his snookems in his mind parts ways with the infatuation stage. He may not say anything aloud, but to himself, all of his thoughts go to, “Why does she have to…”

Why does she have to… always tuck her feet under my legs when sitting on the couch?
Why does she have to… always take ten minutes to come downstairs when I get to her house?
Why does she have to… always force me to meet people in her circle, and then get upset when I don’t like them?

And the list goes on and on and on… but he never says anything, his demeanor just changes. What he’s doing is he’s exiting the infatuation stage and preparing himself to reach a calm about the answers to those questions before she starts asking, “Why doesn’t he…” #seewhatIdidthere.

Meanwhile, the woman is still in the infatuation stage, she’s totally into this guy and now that her guard is down, those hormones kick in and start whipping her ass. She’s thinking about what it would be like to be featured in the paper as a the couple getting ready to be wed. She’s thinking about moving in together. She’s making life plans and they always involve him. She still likes to cuddle, and watch romance movies, and go on cute dates. She has no idea that her boyfriend is thinking to himself, “Why does she have to act like I don’t have anything else to do in the world except hang out with her?”

What happens next is probably the quintessential most important part of the relationship? It separates the wives from the girlfriends. Does that girl ask herself, “why does it seem like my man is pulling away from me?” And then do some internal thinking and figure out ways to fix the issue? Or does she flip out and start saying things like, “How come we don’t do nothing anymore?” Or, “How come you don’t tell me you love me anymore?” I don’t know. I do know one thing, the infatuation stage will pass. And those who choose to stay in it live pointless lives. You can’t build a future in the infatuation stage, you have to build it after the shake out phase. The shake out is just the point of the relationship where you say, “If we gon’ be here, then we gon’ be here” it’s when people stop being fake and start being real. After that phase is where you start to build a future together. I can’t tell you what to do, because only you can make the right decision for yourself and your relationship. All I can do is present you with the facts. The infatuation stage has an expiration date on it, it’s up to you whether you are going to drink old milk or get some new milk.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Afternoon Mail - 7.20.11

Jean Rasczak: All right, let's sum up. This year in history, we talked about the failure of democracy. How the social scientists of the 21st Century brought our world to the brink of chaos. We talked about the veterans, how they took control and imposed the stability that has lasted for generations since. We talked about the rights and privileges between those who served in the armed forces and those who haven't, therefore called citizens and civilians.[to a student]
Jean Rasczak: You. Why are only citizens allowed to vote?
Student: It's a reward. Something the federation gives you for doing federal service.
Jean Rasczak: No. Something given has no basis in value. When you vote, you are exercising political authority, you're using force. And force my friends is violence. The supreme authority from which all other authorities are derived.
(Source: Starship Troopers)

Did you know that in Starship Troopers they have a shower scene that shows most of the main characters in the nude? Well interesting thing about that was Denise Richards was left out of that scene and people judged her for that. She was upset about that and vowed that in her next movie she would be nude. That was Wild Things. The scene actually didn’t call for Denise Richards to be nude in Wild Things, but she wanted to be since the public demanded to see those nips. Interesting right. More interesting is how long Neve Campbell held out on doing nudity in a movie. She finally did her first nudity in When Will I Be Loved in 2004. Years later. She said that she had values and didn’t want to be in a nudity scene, but in reality, it was because she just doesn’t look all that great naked. The public always wins these battles, several Hollywood actresses say they’ll never do a nude scene, they let it go though. If the money is right, everyone has a price.
I have decided to give up coffee for the week. A few reasons, I want to get my teeth whitened pretty soon. Nothing like some pearly whites for the public. And I don’t want to keep up with the stains. Although there is this new mouthwash that allegedly protects your teeth from coffee stains. But those got to be the worse.

I was watching Sex & the City last night and little known fact I’ve seen each one of those episodes. Sorry, one thanksgiving break just went horribly wrong and I ended up stuck in Cuse way too long in an apartment with a female friend, (I was not sleeping with her), and that’s all she had to watch. Anyway, that started it and I’ve seen all the episodes. I remember Aiden’s first episode and I remember my first reaction to him, “He is the antithesis of Big.” Yeah and I knew that wouldn’t work. I knew that Aiden never had a shot because it wasn’t really what Carrie was attracted to, it was the exact opposite. It sucks for him too. Men have to be careful that they aren’t the antithesis of the guy that the girl you’re dating really likes.

I’m starting to think that Lamar Odom is the grim reaper.

Currently the NBA and NFL lockout have not caused us to cancel any games. Until they start cancelling games I would recommend that we all calm down and stop worrying about it. I think that men just have gotten to a point where they don’t have anything else but sports. We do sports from August until June, you think we could take a couple months off and do something else with our spare time? I mean, isn’t there a pool party or cookout we could go to?
Have you ever sat down and did a budget for lunch or just food away from your house? How hard is it to stay on that budget? Man, I tell you. The thing that gets me the most is that sometimes you forget to eat breakfast or depending on what you have for dinner, you might need a bigger breakfast than just a breakfast bar. And whatever you do, don’t go to Whole Foods everyday for lunch that’s a recipe for disaster. You’ll have a bunch of paper bags you can recycle and green rubberband, but that food is expensive. And what is that smell in Whole Foods? It’s unique to only Whole Foods.
Ah, anyway, I’m out of here, new post tomorrow.
Life is good. God is good.
Never feel pressure to take off your shirt, but get it out the way before you end up having to do it in a compromising position.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Balancing Your Standards with Happiness

Last night I spent an hour talking to my mother about life. I was able to salvage my Sunday, but there were two points of extreme disappointment as people said they were going to do something and it didn’t happen. I think since 2003, I’ve always managed my expectations to expect nothing from anyone. After about eight years of this, it’s become an annoying habit to friends and family. I expect less, and believe nothing when someone tells me they are going to do something. I learn from my mother that I have to learn to depend on others because it shows them I care, but it also allows them to show that they are able to be a good friend or family member. But the problem is people have a tendency to disappoint. It’s so funny that I grew up playing baseball and am now in a career where I spend most of my time reducing error and increasing my ability to execute. I have become the type of person who cannot tolerate someone who shows no growth. Simply put, once the same things start happening over and over again, I’m inclined to think it’s happening on purpose, or you’re just not capable of anything better. Anyway, here were a few highlights from the conversation.

“At times your standards are so low for people that you can’t ever hope to be happy.”

I have a bad habit of accepting “less than” out of people because I just don’t think they are capable of anything more. I realize that the majority of the people in the world are inconsiderate, maybe not maliciously, but people are usually concerned with themselves before they are concerned with others. This leads them to disappoint. I am called picky or that I have high expectations, but then I’ll tell myself that deep down I know that it’s likely that others won’t be able to meet my expectations. I have dated people in the past who didn’t live up to my expectations only because I thought I was being mean to dead someone so early on for not meeting a list of expectations that I had. This always led to failure. I would find situations in which I was comfortable, but I was never fully engaged. My dad always said, if you’re going to spend your money or time, get what you want. I’ve always been in the business of following that advice.

“You should never be afraid to stick with what works for you, and if that doesn’t work for someone else, then move on.”

I have this thing about myself, it’s called, “the way we will and will not do business.” Like I said before I don’t expect a lot but there are two things that I require, 1) Do what you say you’re going to do and 2) Communicate with me, the way I communicate with you. Now I get in a lot of trouble for these things because of the way it is enforced but I refuse to compromise on this, and so I’m assertive when someone violates. For the first, since I rarely expect things from people, when they do in fact tell me that they will do something, I expect it to get done. I don’t ask people for things all too often, so most times they offer. If I make the attempt to trust that you will take care of something, the least you can do is do what YOU said you would do. The second is because when I think and when I speak the thoughts are usually different. I learned early on in undergrad that I had a way with words that could make people cry. I was always trying to one-up someone and this led me to being a very harsh person. I’ve changed over the years, so when someone gives me a sharp response or they just insist on being rude, I immediately stop talking to them. They might say, “I don’t mean anything by it, this is just how I am.” And I quickly remind them, “but you do what works for you, this line of communication doesn’t work for me.” Several times I’ve experienced times where someone has violated these two rules and I have to make a decision whether to lower expectations even more, or move on. If I feel that this is an exception or extreme case, I may give a person another chance, but if not, I am expeditious to move on.

“Exceptions become expectations.”

It’s really funny when something my dad told me years ago is something that my mother tells me. It’s freaking hilarious. But my approach to situations is that I rarely allow people to have exceptions, and I refrain from doing favors without making sure that the person knows that I’m doing something that I do not have to do. The reason is because if you keep doing something for someone too long, they’ll grow to expect it. My father told me this story about flowers one day. He was on the way home from work one day and he said, ‘I’ll pick up some flowers for my wife.” And he did so. And every other week he would bring flowers home. After a few months he was bringing home flowers every Friday, it was something special that he liked to do. Well, one day, time got the best of him and his schedule and he wasn’t able to grab some flowers on the way home. When he walked in the apartment, my mother said, “Where are my flowers?” The exception, the favor, had become an expectation. He told me that they argued that night about the flowers, he was upset that she started to expect them, and she was upset that he started doing something and he should see it through now. This reminded me of a situation I had with someone I was dating in the past when I told my friend that I was frustrated about the situation and he said that I need to stand up for myself, my response, “Man, I shouldn’t have let it slide in the beginning. Now, not only do I have to talk about why it bothers me, but I have to be prepared that it might all get shut down with, ‘how come you never said nothing about it?’” Trust me, everyone hates, “How come you never said nothing about it?” I think most relationships, most men in relationships should get a clause like in a lease that says, “If the rule is not enforced on a case-by-case basis it is not a concession to remove the rule from the lease.”

“Never sacrifice or compromise your standards so that you can temporarily be happy.”

This is most likely to happen in relationships because by nature, no one likes to be alone. I’m sure you know someone who clearly is not happy with their situation but as someone once told me, “She would rather have a piece than nothing at all.” And dead ass, this goes both ways as I’ve seen dudes put up with a lot of shit just to have a woman around. Me and WIM always joke back and forth about crazy women, but the reality is, we put up with crazy because they are dime pieces. We have a tendency to date people who constantly disappoint us, they don’t call when they say they will, they don’t show up when they are supposed to show up, we battle with the decision to completely erase them from our lives or hold out on hope. Faith-based relationship; faith is the belief in things not seen. Or as Kanye said, Lack of Visual Empathy defines L.O.V.E., or something like that. It might take you a moment to really understand what he was trying to say there, but trust me it hit me one time like a ton of bricks. When we compromise our standards for happiness we end up being more hurt than before. It’s like we’re all heroin addicts; we are gluttons for punishment, but the highs get more intense, and the lows become unbearable. It’s a life of pain. Have you noticed in your relationship that when you start to compromise your arguments and disagreements become more and more volatile? That’s a sign that you are using your relationship like a drug; a quick fix here and there, but the pain is still there.

I enjoy conversations with my mother because it reminds me of these things. It’s not just about romantic relationships, it’s about all the relationships that we have in our lives. Family, friends, and coworkers are all examples of people we have to manage our expectations with in order to remain happy. Probably none more than your job. I’m heading there now and I realize that it’s just painful at times to think that you make so many concessions in your career for a paycheck. Damn capitalistic society has us hooked! For me, I always try to maintain high expectations of myself and high hopes that someone will meet my standards. I don’t think they’re unrealistic, but they’re just to ensure that someone like myself doesn’t bore or tire of people who I allow to be in my life. And so, I don’t think that’s a bad approach at all.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Pick 'Em: My View on Some Hip Hop Artists

My boy put this up via email today, so here were my reponses:

Drake vs Rick Ross

Rick Ross. Drake has progressively gotten worse since his first mixtape, Ross has progressively gotten better. Ross is a business man too. His marketing skills are second to none. He has completely transitioned over into a new business model of Hip Hop, using appearances, concerts and memorabilia to make money in a drought. Drake is a horrible business man and he needs someone to market him because left up to his own devices he's going to end up playing squash with Elton John.

Roscoe Dash vs Travis Porter

Travis Porter. I said this a long time ago, one of those kids can write their ass off because those metaphors have people rolling for days. Their music is trash, but they actually putting words together. I thought about it one day and they basically rapping like Ludacris used to rap back in the day before people attacked him for always using metaphors. Listen to the music. Plus those guys make straight strip club music, you can corner the market like that. More and more people are going to strip clubs like they clubs now. Real talk, the strip club is the best place in the world to go to, best ROI in the world. You pay for TNA and you get TNA.

Jay Z vs Kanye (right now not all time)

Kanye. Jay-Z is 42 and nobody asking him to act his age. If you compare him to any other 42 year old man you know, you'd say he needs to grow up. It ain't cool no more. When Jordan was 42, he bought a share of the Bobcats and went to the front office. Kanye ain't really the greatest in the game right now, but he is the most artistic. He's a musical genius and he's also a trend setter. Plus he f*cked Amber Rose and that means something. You can say what you want about that man, but his music pops and he f*cked Amber Rose.

Outkast vs Wu Tang (all time)

Outkast. Don't go there.

Diggy Simmons vs Lil B

Lil B. Diggy got the support of Russ and can't even touch Lil B money right now. Lil B has a model of making bad music, so bad that you'll want to hear it to see how bad it is. He's taking advantage of a game where everybody is so fake that no one will step to him on it. Go on YT and check out the views his songs get and then think about how much advertising money that guy makes. Don't trip, Lil B has some early music that you'll listen to and be like, "Oh shit it's not wack." That's why you got to watch what he's doing and sort of respect it.

Swizz Beatz vs Kanye (which beat do you take)

My first single would be Swizz, you want something that everybody going to listen to and want to bang all the time. Kanye don't really make that many bangers like that. I would have Kanye beats on my album though because the production is immaculate. But also, Swizz got alimony payments so he work for cheap now. Kanye beats cost major money.

Meek Mill vs J Cole

Meek. But don't tell nobody I told you this. Meek rap with fire and he rap like he ain't got no choice. J Cole still got a degree from NYU, he be straight in the long run. J Cole borderline Kanye and Drake at the same time, emo niggas always rapping about why nobody give them their respect. If you think i'm playing, go listen to Fitted on the MMG album. That pretty much sum up this argument. Plus Meek can make hooks, something Cole can't do anymore. He like Josh Pace, dude is the GA state record holder in 3 pointers made. You seen that nigga shoot now?

Dom Kennedy vs Freddie Gibbs

I don't know who these people are.

Vado vs Curren$y

Vado. Currensy got some lyrics, but he's not the type of person that people can rally around like Vado. Vado is not that nice, but he speaks that Harlem lingo and that's a supportive ass environment that will take him far.

Frank Ocean vs The Weeknd

Weeknd, Frank Ocean ain't as nice as people think. Weeknd live in Canada with shit-nothing to do, he's got some songs that make women go crazy. Like literally crazy. Frank Ocean got nostalgia, but those other mixtapes are wack. Plus he's a bitch. Chris Brown is 75% marshmallow, no way he should be able to roll on you like that.

Jeezy vs Styles P

Jeezy, be serious. Jeezy about to get his mojo back and things will get real weird in hip hop. He basically had a Lloydian lapse. That's when someone break down your style to show you why its wack and then you change it to silence the critics, instead of just making your bread and doing what you do. You peep when Wayne got called out for raping Gilly flow, he ain't change shit, he just kept making his bread. Jeezy try and switch his flow and then it went kaputz. But he back now.

Big Sean vs Big K.R.I.T.

KRIT. Sean took so long to drop an album and Drake stole his flow and added singing. It's over for him.

French Montana vs Cory Gunz

Cory. No real reason why.

Nicki Minaj vs Wale

Nicki. But don't sleep on Wale you matching him up against somebody he ain't in the same league with. Nicki has the support of the feminist movement and a couple niggas from Beyonce camp too. She's ultra-artistic too. Basically Weezy said, GO. And she just wild out all the time, with no speed limits or regulations. Wale wordplay is crazy though, sit back and listen one day. You'll be like damn I ain't even catch that the first time. Now he on MMG, that seem like a bad fit, but it's a great move for Ross. He took a few artists who actually have great content and versatility. They actually conscious rappers and a singer on the low, but with the beat bank that Ross got, it's a perfect recipe for hits.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Morning Mail - 7.14.11 (Thirsty Thursdays!)

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Drunken recall. I gave my subjects massive quantities of alcohol and then I taught them things while they were blacked out. When they woke up the next morning, they couldn't remember anything. But when I got them drunk again, they remembered everything that I taught them the night before. I got it published.
Landfill: Where?
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: In Maxim Magazine under the tile of "E=MC Hammered".
(Source: Beerfest)

Today is Thursday.

There’s some things of interest about Thursdays that I always like to review: If you think you’re tipsy, you’re drunk, if you think you’re drunk, you’re wasted, if you think you’re wasted, well seek medical attention.

You ever notice people always say the same thing to drunk people? “You’re ok… you’re ok.”

You ever been so drunk you wanted to get undrunk? You realize that it’s not possible and it sucks, don’t it?

You know you’re ass is drunk when you’ll come out your mouth and tell someone, “I’m drunk.” If there’s a hiccup involved, take cover.

Why is it that when people get a little drunk they want to tell you what they had? Why people tell you what they gonna drink, what they drinking, and what they drunk? Like right now, somebody telling their friend, “It’s Ciroc Red Berry and Sprite all night for me.” Then later at the spot they like, “I’m double fisted with Ciroc Red Berry right now!” Next morning, “Man I’m hungover, I was done off that Ciroc Red Berry.” If you’re the friend they’re talking to you’re like, “Mofo I know, you done told me 50-11 times.”

How many times is 50-11?

When you’re in happy hour do you ever look around and think to yourself, “this bitch ain’t got no job”? I can tell you how to peep the men who are perpetrating too. Look at their socks. If a man wears a suit everyday he knows how to make his socks, or at least to some extent. Sometimes you see some real odd ball socks in the club. People dress up for happy hour though, especially men. They don’t dress like that every day, but they think to themselves that they might need to be seen and they dress up.

I seen a chick change in the bathroom at work before. It was crazy. She normally dress kind of scandalous at work, but then she all of a sudden came out the bathroom like she was working at Stadium.

You ever had to make a quick stop before happy hour and buy an outfit? I know I have. There’s a Gap around the corner from where I usually go. I’m not opposed to copping a quick outfit before happy hour.

I’m actually not going to happy hour tonight. Well I am, but I’m not drinking. I haven’t had anything ot drink since last Saturday. That’s odd to me, but I just ain’t been feeling it right now. Something wrong with me. I think I be too tired and then thinking about drinking, I’m like, let me chill because I ain’t trying to be more tired tomorrow. I think I’m going to rock out with my club soda and lime today. That’s that drink right there! You can rock out with that or a red bull and cranberry all night and nobody will peep that you’re actually not drinking a thing.

You want to know what’s really funny? Those people who be like, “I got to go home and get my car if we planning on staying late.” I look at them like, “Damn yo, you planning on doing heavy drinking to the point of not making the last train and your solution is to go get your car.” I’ve learned over the past three years that the cab is completely worth it. Especially if you all live in the same area. Or you got to think like women, just network around the club, but not for a job for benefits. If you talk to enough people you’ll find someone who lives in your area to give you a ride. Females been doing this for years, we just ain’t peep it.

You ever had happy hour at work, then went to the early PM happy hour and looked up and it was midnight and you were at the late night spot on Thursday? Where did the night go? But what do you do? If you’re going to be out at this hour, might as well make a night of it. That’s when you know you’ll be late for work the next day, either that, or you reek of alcohol. You ever spent the whole morning at work trying to see if you smell like alcohol. I don’t, I just chew gum, but you know what I learned? You can always tell how much someone had to drink by what they eat in the morning. If you order an omelet with the hash browns and a big OJ, you was out late last night.

Anyway, be safe and enjoy your night. There will be a new post on The Book tomorrow. Come back later, I’m going to post some links to some articles I’ve done on the internet in places you may not have seen.

Say it with me,

Life is good. God is good.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Bad News Dudes

Dan: And you left him, just like that?
Alice: It's the only way to leave. "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."
Dan: Supposing you do still love them?
Alice: You don't leave.
Dan: You've never left someone you still love?
Alice: Nope
(Source: Closer)

There are those people who have control over our lives in ways that we shouldn’t let them, but because our feelings get involved, we are rendered helpless. There are so many out there among us who have dealt with someone in their past that they know or knew they shouldn’t have. When a woman completely mistreats a man in this way it’s sort of like the Wizard of Oz, the wicked witch of the west is always outdone by the other witch. Basically, whenever a man is under the sedation of an evil woman all it takes is a good woman and he is cured from her spell. It doesn’t work this way for women. Whenever they are under the sedation of dope d*ck, there’s only one sure thing; this will not end well, you will not enjoy the ending of this movie, it will probably end worse than Season 1 of Mob Wives. What the hell happened next? But moreover, what the hell just happened?

These are the Bad News Dudes. I don’t have to go much further before every woman thinks of her Bad News Dude. He’s that guy who she knows is absolutely no good for her, but she just keeps holding out hope. She’ll go to the end of the world for him, but he won’t even walk her to her car at 5 in the morning. The ironic thing is, most women have it completely figured out, the Bad News Dude is as predictable as rain in Southern California, you just know that some shit just won’t ever happen, but it doesn’t stop you from checking the weather report every now and then.

The BND specializes in two things very well; disappearing and reappearing. Your BND will always disappear right after he gets what he wants. Your BND will always reappear when he wants something. He calls you on a random day of the week and asks if you have dinner plans … that night. He expects you to drop everything you’re doing, move around your schedule and proceed to meet him. You tell yourself, “hell no, I’m tired of his bullshit.” This is how the BND gets you, he knows that you are only trying to put up this front because you are disappointed in yourself for the control he has over you, but you actually want to go. He plays on this like Seth in the Boiler Room; he knows you’re interested and the longer you stay on the phone, the better his chances are for a sale. Of course you’ll go on this date, have one too many drinks, get a little tipsy, complain about the way things have went, he’ll Jedi mind trick you into somehow misunderstanding his actions, this leads to his place, and a whole lot of something. The next morning you guys promise to do it again soon, but you don’t hear from him again for weeks or months, or sometimes a year.

But he’s also good at reappearing; you’ll be convinced that sometimes your BND has your phone tapped. How is it that as soon as you got something going good in your life, he pops up to throw a wrench in it? He never called you on consecutive days, but as soon as you’re talking to someone new; he wants to keep in contact more. He’ll make you think that it’s worth seeing if he’s turning over a new leaf. He’s not. Here’s what he’s doing, he’s responding to you losing interest by fighting to keep your interest. He knows that once you have too good of a reason not to see him, it signals the end of a good situation. The key to his spell is to always make you think one of two things; either you’re desperate and he’s the man you want, or the man you have is not as good as him, the man you want.

What this goes to show you is that the BND is completely inconsiderate of you. He doesn’t care about your well being or happiness. He won’t leave you alone when you find someone to love and appreciate you the way that you want. He knows that you want marriage and a family, he doesn’t want to give you this. When some simp comes along who’s willing to give you this, even though you just spent the last few years of your life letting the BND plow your back out with no responsibilities or expectations, the nice thing would be for him to just let you go. Wrong…. Wrong… WRONG, not him, he’s a habitual line stepper. He doesn’t have it in him to think about you, he’s thinking about himself. You are an indentured servant to the BND and you will be paid in yards. However, you are not free to go until he says so. He calls you up at 4PM on a Wednesday and wants to make happy hour plans, that’s inconsiderate. He doesn’t return your phone calls after you’ve texted, emailed and even called. You’re just trying to do something for him, you don’t even want anything, but he won’t pick up. You left his house at 4AM, still a little tipsy from the night before, he didn’t even call to see if you made it home safe.

Deep down on the inside you know that BND doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t give one f*ck about you, he cares about himself. He doesn’t want the same things that you want in the situation. And don’t get me wrong, BND is not always strictly a f*ck buddy, although most times he is. There are other ways he manifests himself in your life. You may be the person that he talks to all the time about his problems, he may be the person who he can, “always rely on to get something done right.” He can be a lot of things other than sex, but it just seems like you’re way more invested than he is because you have goals, but BND’s motto is and always will be, “And on today, not a single f*ck was given.”

I get asked all the time, “Why would a girl for a guy like that?” I know exactly why. Have you ever tried to argue with a woman? They have two moves; the last word or the decision to not have the last word. Either way, you’ll know that she had the last hurrah. Women do not like to lose, and they’ll go to the ends of the world to save failure. The BND is a failure, it’s never going to work, he’s never going to come back around, he’ll probably marry that other girl who wouldn’t put up with his shit like you did. In his mind, you’re weak and not fit to be a mother of his children if you have no backbone. He plays on this with perfection and grace. I told a friend yesterday, the best move a BND can pull is the premature break. Once he notices that you are catching feelings, he breaks it off before you can. If he lets you break it off, you’ll have too much logic involved … a chance to think about it. If he breaks it off, you’ll be caught on your heels, and your inability to lose will kick in. You won’t want to leave without demanding a reason (that makes sense to you), or you’ll come up with a plan to somehow save failure. What type of plan is that? You’ll say, “I’ll just get him back, and then once I have him back, I’ll be the one to break it off, that’ll show him.”

Yeah, but BNDs with that quan have already planned for you to do this. They know that the premature break only promises them your servitude for the next seven years of your life. Once you are tasked with trying to come out the victor of this situation, you’re likely to propel yourself into the Twilight Zone. That means, you’ll do just about ANYTHING to win. This is when you start to do the nonsensical things that you won’t want to tell anyone about ever in life. (Not that you should, but they will be quite embarrassing years later when you look back.) You’ll lie to your friends about where you are because you are hanging out with the BND. You’ll go above and beyond to see him by asking him questions like; “Well what are you doing for brunch? Maybe dinner? Maybe happy hour? Maybe after you go out? … Oh well just give me a call when you are free and we’ll get up, I’m free all day.” ***BLANK STARE*** In what will go against everything you believe in you’ll start taking him out because you know that every man loves a woman who “buys him shit.” It’s nothing wrong with getting a man a gift every now and then, or paying your own way. But if that’s not your man, keep that shit in check. You can’t go on a shopping spree at Ralph Lauren and tell him, “oh I thought you’d look nice in these so I got them.” Ask yourself why you are putting $400 into clothes for this man so he’ll walk out your life. (Side note, remember when your grandparents told you to never buy someone you were dating, shoes? Some country folk know what I’m talking about.)

So how does it end? Well it always ends the same way. A text message on your birthday to him, “Please do not contact me anymore, I am not taking this relationship with me into age 28.” Or you log onto Facebook one day and it says, “Dayrian is now engaged.” It could even be that he finally disappears into the sunset and never reappears. It could end with you finally going bat shit and slashing his tires, showing up at his job, or crying in a crowded nightclub. But it will not end nicely. There will be no quiet evening at dinner where he explains to you that it’s better that you guys part ways and try and remain friends. The problem with all of this is you knew it would end this way. You knew from the first time you side-eyed him and thought to yourself, “You are trouble” that you wouldn’t be walking away from this situation with your pride. You knew that it was the Moon or bust with the BND, and your dumass ain’t know how to build a spaceship. So now you got two choices; jump out the car now and save yourself, or drive to your nearest NASA summer program.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Morning Mail – 7.11.11

Sheeni Saunders: You got me expelled.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: I'm sorry, Sheeni.
Sheeni Saunders: Do you realize what life is like for me here? Do you have any idea?
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: Sheeni, I've been alone my whole life. I know what it's like. Sheeni, I burned down Berkeley for you. I destroyed both of my parents' cars. And I've lied and manipulated and had you sedated, and I did all that so we wouldn't have to be alone anymore.
Sheeni Saunders: You're him, aren't you?
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: I'm him?
Sheeni Saunders: You're my Fran├žois. You're the one I've been looking for.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: Sheeni, I want what you want. I want to live all over the world and have adventures, but I'm not Fran├žois. I'm the guy who saw you and fell in love with you and would do anything for you. That's who I am.
(Source: Youth In Revolt)

This movie was so hilarious to me. It goes to show you that a lot of women date men for the most asinine reasons on the planet. Do men really create personas just to impress women? Um… YEAH. Does it work? Um… YEAH.

I have struggled with this new working arrangement it makes it hard for me to get time to myself to drop a note here and there. So I spend most of my time outside of work, writing. Don’t get mad if my gchat is more sporadic in nature, for the foreseeable future it will be like this. Also keep in mind, I have issues with being so close up on people. I can’t stand to hear someone chewing or eating, when you are around them nonstop that’s part of the game. I can deal though, I’ve been doing this for some time now.

I had a great day on Friday.

Oh my god, the US beat Brazil, it is SO not that serious. It was the quarterfinals, not the championship. I think you want to get more excited about winning the actual World Cup than winning a quarterfinal match. That goes to show you some things about the way people think. That made me think back to when the Lakers lost in the conference semifinals to the Mavs, I was like that’s not the championship, it’s not that serious. A true champion only cares about the games that matter and those are the Finals.

Lil’ Wayne for the third time this year? Um… YEAH.

You never thought that you would hear a bunch of Black men complain about being locked out, usually they’re more concerned about being locked up. And also, who knew the day would come when you would have Black men complaining about not being able to go to work? That’s crazy. #endthalockout

Your family can ruin your relationship … amongst other things. However, people have to be very careful letting their family control their lives. Sometimes your family sabotages your relationships because they don’t want to lose you, and other times it’s just their overwhelming presence. I remember a few back when I told someone that they shouldn’t have to take care of their mother to the point that they didn’t have a chance to enjoy life. Your parents have lived, for them to rob you of your life is not fair. Not saying you have to let your parents just fade away, but you should keep that in mind. And if you mom happens to be bat shit crazy, keep her away from your significant other.

It’s bonus time.

Peel out in the Lamborghini!

Are you really mad he won’t give you the time of day if you know that he wasn’t going to wife you down anyway?

Life is good. God is good.

Alphas premieres tonight on Sci-Fi. “Impossible is what they do best.”

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

She’s Not F*cking!

I gave my word, this is absurd.
As most of my blogs begin it was an offline conversation with an old friend of mine from college and we were discussing how a girl at my school who was regarded very highly by most men on campus is now not regarded in the same light anymore. I didn’t agree to some extent. I still think the girl is still a dime plus 99, but I told him; the reason why no one is checking for her anymore is because they realize that she’s not f*cking. This is a funny dynamic too as I’ll examine later, but the main point is this, if a man feels like he can’t get anywhere with a girl he stops actually trying to get at her. In this case, this girl is just not interested in having sex with men anymore. I know her life partner and me and her life partner know what’s up. We both like women and we like them as beautiful as possible. I can’t be mad that she took something off the market and defended her home court. But that’s just how men think, once a girl is not f*cking, they lose interest.

When you think of all the single women out there, it’s not uncommon for a girl to tell you, “No dudes are trying to get at me because I’m not willing to have sex with them.” I’ve talked about this before but I don’t think you should ever tell a guy that too early on. But it’s important to note and you’ll have to understand that this maybe a barrier to entry that he’s not willing to overcome. A lot of guys meet a girl and then they find out, “She’s not f*cking” and they just move on. This might be a really good girl, but some men put sex way above the woman. In what will be my Sammy the Bull moment of this post, I’ll say this; a lot of men have no intentions of finding a wife when they date a woman, they’re just looking for something right now. Because of this, they will not deal with a woman who says, “I have a 90-day rule” or “I prefer to be in a relationship with a guy before I have sex with him” or “I want to wait until marriage.” Is this probably one of the more f*cked up things you’ll ever hear from men? Yes. Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just trying to be honest with you.

Now it may not be that she’s not having sex, it may just be that she’s not going to have sex with you. “The difference between a bitch and a hoe; a hoe has sex with everybody, a bitch has sex with everybody but you.” And not to call women in relationships bitches, but for some men they feel that once a chick is in a relationship, since she’s not f*cking them, she not f*cking and there’s no reason to waste time on her. I have seen dudes build the grandest of friendships with a female and then once they find out she’s in a relationship, they immediately lose interest. (Some people wait until after they also find out that she will not be having sex with them either.) There was another girl that I went to school with, she was so beautiful and smart, but men would be her friend for a bit and then when she said she had a man at home, they immediately stopped being her friend. She was beyond faithful to her man at home so most of these guys knew that nothing was going down. When I wrote an inciting riot post named, Your Twat Has Lost Its Value, I neglected to put this in there. Most men who are reading this right now, they know some women in their network who were “most sought after” for years, the second they got in a serious relationship or got married, those guys considered it a loss and lost all interest. And just to reiterate, most men don’t have genuine platonic relationships with women. Personally, I don’t fall into this category. It’s possibly because of the same reasons that Most will tell you; growing up with all women we actually are closer with women than men. However, for most men, they treat their female friends like 5 of spades. They can’t rely on that card for a book, but they know it could possibly walk across the board. As us Gs like to call them, “possible p*ssy.”

Then you have the women who have decided to not have sex with men. These are probably the most frustrating. But let me tell you something, as an advocate for the LGBT community; there’s an initial attraction to lesbians, but that goes away when you find out that she is NOT AT ALL bisexual. I don’t know what it is, but maybe it’s because I learned in high school that just because a girl is a lesbian doesn’t mean she’s into threesomes with guys, or occasionally needs a fix from a man. Sometimes, those women just do not like d*ck AT ALL, they are totally into cl*t. That’s cool. But that ish be getting to a few negros every now and then. They thinking, “I’ll hang around this 5 of spades long enough for her to want to some d*ck and then I’ll slip it in.” And then that chick turns into the Rapture, she ain’t never going to come around in this lifetime. They throw her in the “she not f*cking” bucket and they move the hell on. Now I’ll put it to you like this; I learned everything I know about this epidemic in the strip club. I have a cousin who used to take me and the boys to a strip club, my cousin is a girl and she also likes girls. We would get in the strip club and she would point out the chicks who were into girls there. Man… we ran over there as fast as possible and started to make it thunderstorm on those women. We built bonds with those girls and then bought them some drinks and developed a relationship. Next thing you know the guys found out that those women do not like men AT ALL. They are good off d*ck. Their tip money went down tragically after someone found that out. You see? They not f*cking; men lose all interest.

... I wish they would ...
Sitting around with a group of women they ask, “Why is it that when a man find out he ain’t getting no easy p*ssy, they lose all interest?” I tell them about these three scenarios. It’s crazy, I know. I think it can be frustrating, but a lot of women just have to get it through their thick head that men just see some women as potential partners, and once you take that away from him, he loses all interest. Personally speaking, I’ve always been able to maintain on my female relationships because of this approach right here; if I see the girl on a romantic level, I refuse to try and have a platonic relationship with them. I have to be honest with myself, that’s a personal thing. I pass low spades and put them back in the kiddy. But if you’re one of those women wondering why that great guy you were dating is no longer calling or texting, or you had a guy you thought was like your “big brother,” and now he’s pulled a disappearing act, it’s probably because he’s decided, “She’s not f*cking!”

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Morning Mail – 7.5.11

Rachel Holloman: Do you think they could derail a train?
Jerry Shaw: They changed every traffic light to get us here. The woman, she called me on a stranger's cell phone who happened to be sitting next to me - never met the guy in my life. And then they broke me out of maximum security custody in a way I'm not even going to describe to you because it sounds crazy, and then they lift us off the face of the earth and drop us into this shitpile. She could probably derail a train, she could probably turn a train into a talking duck.
(Source: Eagle Eye)

In the history of things I wouldn’t recommend anyone do, ranking almost at the top of the list is, taking a girl out to see, “Friends With Benefits.” I think there’s no secret that is sending the wrong signal. You’d do better to just stay at home. But that made me think, just who do you go see FWB with? I came to the conclusion that the only logical person would have to be your wife or someone you are not even remotely romantically involved with.

I saw Transformers yesterday and I loved it. While I think that Shia Lebouf’s character is just about as bad ass as they come. I think that Megan Fox may be more attractive than the new girl. But I have never seen a girl make a white dress look as good as Rose Huntington-Whitely did in that movie. Seems like not everyone liked the movie, I don’t get that.

The purpose of WWF and HWF is to talk to people of the opposite sex while playing a competitive game. I always get confused as to why dudes are on there playing with other dudes.

I have 12 Voicemails right now. I’m weighing my options on changing my voicemail to say, “Please do not leave me a voicemail, email me or text me.” Is it possible to just turn it off?

I lost a lot of respect for a friend of mine. I wanted to go see the new Pirates movie and she said, “Penelope Cruz just doesn’t do it for me.” That was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard in my life. Penelope Cruz is perfect. Got me to thinking later that night as we watched the Fireworks, my boy says, Beyonce is at the top of his list for women he finds attractive. I said, Eva Mendes for me. I’m right too, but that goes to show you that men have different tastes in women. I just don’t understand how a man could have seen Out of Time, Hitch or Fast & Furious and not agree with me on that.

I had a rant about inconsiderate people. Two things actually. First was my dad who called me 3 times, left 2 voicemails and then a text saying, “Call me asap.” I was in the movie theater. I stepped out and he just wanted to know if I was at home or not. Really? That question was a bona fide emergency. It really bothers me because he has a tendency to ask me to drop everything I’m doing when he has time to hang out. He gives me absolutely no lead time to prepare, and most times by the time he’s called, I’m already busy doing something. That’s the difference with people and as they get older, the older you get the less you got going on. At my age, I’m always up to something. Then it was the second, like you ever had people who don’t care about your wishes or desires they just go about life thinking only about themselves. It’s rough being friends with those people because on one hand they don’t even realize it. Like they have no idea how much the words,”I, me, and mine” come out of their mouth. It’s always, “what I need” or “that doesn’t work for me.” Sometimes I feel like saying, “everything don’t have to work for you.” Because seriously does that person ever really know how many times others around them had to compromise their desires for them? Nope, I doubt it.

I’ll be dropping a post this week, something else that women will be able to pat themselves on their back about. Then I got something on deck about how typecasting works in the blog world.

Life is good. God is great.

I hope everyone has all their fingers and toes and had a great 4th of July.