Afternoon Mail – 1.28.11

Harper Stewart: Hey, is your pops still trying to groom you for the hotel management business?
Quentin: Yeah, for the last 20 years? I'm just not trying to hear all that stuff, you know? Dealing with complaining-a guests, unions, and payrolls, and all that...
Harper Stewart: Yeah, too much like a real job, huh?
Quentin: You know what, nigga? Fuck you. You're my judge, right? That's your job. You judge me.
Harper Stewart: No, I'm just playing, man...
Quentin: No, nigga, you... it's just amazing how you've always analyzed everybody else's shit and then you don't do the same thing for your own self.
Harper Stewart: Will you chill?
Quentin: No, because you've done dirt too, motherfucker, and you're doing more dirt! That's right. You're fucking Jordan tonight, remember? Jordan. See, you ain't any better than the rest of us, got it? Your shit just ain't caught you yet.
(Source: The Best Man)

Everyone knew this as soon as they got to my blog.

I have been told that in life, I’m Quentin. In reality, I’m actually a lot closer to Lance, but that’s not really important. Anyway, I loved this part of the movie because it’s usually so true. The people who blame you for shit the most are not saints themselves. I never have a problem telling someone they’ve done dirt too, when they try and rise up on me.

Another thing about this passage is that it speaks to something that plagues bloggers. Trust me when I say this, most bloggers do not follow their own relationship advice. They give tons and tons of advice about everything under the Sun, but when it comes down to it, they are still disturbed individuals. Ideally, you’d think that someone who analyzes relationships all the time has their own lives together, but if you do the math. Most bloggers are single, most bloggers are not married, and most of them come across as pessimistic about the dating scene.

Last thing I’ll touch on is how people validate or qualify their “dirt.” Your girlfriends might have told you that you were loose for sleeping with two guys in the same crew. Your excuse was, things moved fast with A, and then you found out you really liked B, but both the relationships ended anyway and A is a real gentleman. That same friend, piped three dudes when you guys were in Vegas for a week and blamed it on “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Next time, one of your friends tries to call you on some shit, throw it back at them.

Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night!

I truly believe that “fuck you” and “good night” should always follow each other. It’s the best way to end a conversation and it’s so on point. I say it to my friends all the time when they accuse me of doing something wild. For example, my boy said, “Why are you on Facebook going through another man’s Facebook page to compare yourself to him? Just because that chick is dating him instead of you, don’t mean nothing. You sad, ain’t you?”

My response, “Fuck you, good night.”

You know what word came after that, but I’m not going to say it here.

Robin: Did you sleep with her?
Harper Stewart: No.
Robin: But you were going to. You wanted to.
[sighs]
Robin: I am so disappointed in you. I know you feel like shit now, but I'm not going to lie to you. You compromised yourself, our relationship, and Lance and Mia's.
Harper Stewart: I know. I know.
Robin: [sighs] I'm glad you told me. At least now I know where I stand with you.
Robin: No. Baby, you know that is not true.
Robin: [Sharply] Don't! I may not be perfect, but I'm strong. I hope you can make this right. The wedding starts soon.
Harper Stewart: How? I've been looking all over for Lance and I can't find him. And even if I was to find him, how am I supposed to convince him to get married?
Robin: I don't know. That's your bag. I have a plane to catch.

Shout out to the Black women who stand beside their man in times of peril. Most men don’t do that, they will drop you in a heartbeat without even thinking about it. I admired Robin for staying with Harper in this time of peril, but I didn’t like the fact that she accepted his proposal in the end. THIS MOVIE SET THE WORSE PRECEDENT IN THE HISTORY OF BLACK MOVIES. Harper got to bang everyone, and I mean everyone. He may have didn’t seal the deal with Jordan, but it was offered. And this was after she already knew he banged Mia. That girl Jordan was … a … hoe. And he still had his main chick in Robin.

Sidenote, who has a bathtub like the one in the movie? I don’t. I can’t see people taking baths together in those in-wall tubs, it just don’t seem to make sense to me. I mean, I’ll do it, if she asks me to. Oh and baths are inherently nasty unless you shower first. Is that weird of me that I have to shower before taking a bath? I can’t sit in my own filth, that’s just too much for me. Plus, I have way too many arguments with people who pee in the shower to ever sit in the bathtub with a girl. In my opinion, when I buy my house I’ll make sure to get one of those official bath tubs like from the first episode of the Game. #seewhatididthere. Let me be clear, I have taken baths with women before. Well, woman and women. Shit happens. Funny story, I was telling some of my brothers the other day. Have you ever been doing something "sexually" and had an epiphany and it bothered you? Like if you're having sex in a bathtub and you're about to let one loose and then you think to yourself, "Wait a minute... how many other... aahhhh!"

Have a good weekend. Do something crazy.

Freshmen … Freshmen.

Life is good. God is good.

Georgetown bar scene, we own the night.