Monday, August 22, 2011

If You’re Going to Break Up With Her, Do It Fast

Look at Ye's face in this picture for five minutes.
I have a friend who spends a lot of time complaining about his relationship with his girl. His problem is very odd to me because he’s at the age where he’s looking for a life partner and to be perfectly real, he doesn't see that in the cards for this girl. I was talking to him one day and I told him this story about NFL quarterback Matt Leinart.

He knew! He always knew!
Matt Leinart won the Heisman trophy and National Championship in his junior year at USC. At that very moment he knew that the next stage would be the NFL. He knew that if he left USC immediately after his junior year, he’d be an early first round pick. He could potentially be the first pick in the draft. Matt made the decision to return to USC for his senior year and contend for another national championship. Matt looking at his future decided that playing another year with Reggie Bush and the all star cast of players at USC was too much to pass up for the money in the NFL. Not to mention as we would later find out, college life was great for the USC Trojans. In that completely unnecessary senior season, Matt Leinart would contend for the Heisman trophy again and also the National Championship. Matt lost both. He left USC after his senior year and his draft status slipped to 10th in the 2006 draft. Matt made a decision to stay in a relationship that he knew was over and it caused him to lose out on millions of dollars, and the first pick in the draft.

How did this relate to my friend? I told him, well there are times when men stay in situations way too long knowing that they won’t be with her in the long run. They will eventually let the relationship die its slow death and then get back on the scene and it will affect their “draft position.” To take it further, a man can be in a relationship with a woman at the age of 27, he stays with her until he’s 30 or 31 and then he’s now a 31 year old man in the club trying to bag shorties. And for a man that’s not all that bad, but to be perfectly honest at 31, you’ve lost a step to the younger 24 and 25 year old whippersnapper. Had that man made the decision to break up with his girl at 27, he would have a better chance, but at 31 he’s seen completely different.

I know some guys who would have paid good money for
her ass six years before he dumped her like trash.
In addition to the fact that he ruins his draft position he also ruins the girl’s position. Men catch and hold 25 year old women for 4-5 years and then drop them at 30. That’s horrible! As a man we know the importance of a woman’s twenties when it comes to finding a partner. She can still go on to lead a normal life, but here we are again speaking about a woman’s love life like she has an STD she can’t get rid of.

I read this in GQ one time, “Once a gentleman decides he does not want to be with a woman any longer, he breaks up with her directly and never calls again.” Deep. That’s actually the absolute truth. Moreover, it’s not just for her and her feelings, but it’s for his livelihood. Every moment you waste in a failing relationship is time wasted that could be better spent looking for a better option. As men in failing relationships we start to create a list of “places we’d be open to a trade to,” but we stay in that relationship and those options keep growing. Think about it this way, my friend told me to invest in Gold when it was $690, but I may have valued that cash in my bank account more than I valued picking up the investment. Three years later, Gold is still trending up, but it costs $1,800 a share now. I can’t afford that share anymore, had I seized the opportunity earlier I would be doing okay for myself.

True... true.
I’ll just put it this way, men break up with women because she doesn’t have it, or she’s pissed him off and he doesn’t want to be there anymore. There are various reasons why a man breaks up with a woman. 1. He doesn’t like her personality as much as he thought he would. 2. He is not sexually satisfied with her and realizes that the relationship is not great enough to stay the course. 3. He likes her a lot, but he does not feel that he could spend his life with her. So what happens when you stay in that relationship after you’ve made all these conclusions? You waste your time with a woman who annoys the hell out of you, you have bad sex and you get stressed out by conversations about spending the rest of your life together. There’s nothing worse than sitting on the couch with your girlfriend talking about “our kids are going to” but in your mind you think, “but we’re not having any kids…” And trust me, since I’ve been dating women, I’ve found that after they fall in love, they start up marriage and kid conversations almost immediately. Oh no, they’ll tell you they’re not serious, they’re just playing around … but she ain’t playing! That’s really what happens when those hormones get to moving around in her. I’ve seen a man wait until he had bought a ring, a house and was planning a wedding before he finally broke down and told his girlfriend, “Baby, it’s not going to work.” Do you know when he and all of his friends knew it was not going to work? Years before. YEARS!

When he was in college he started dating this chick after he found out she had a bit of a past. Hey everyone has a freshman year and do some crazy things, but he said, “I’m just smashing, I’m not wifing her down.”

When he got out of school he was still dating the chick and now he’s showing up to events with her and people are saying on the side, “Yo remember when that chick was in the house doing…” but he said, “I’m just smashing, I’m not wifing her down.”

Couple years later, I said, “Let’s look at this situation, you are only sleeping with her, you are seen with her in public, she has her shit at your house, it’s obvious that she’s only sleeping with you and you get emotionally disturbed when she does something you don’t like. At what point will you admit that this is your girl?” He laughed, but he said, “I’m just smashing.” Two weeks later, “Maybe that’s my girl.”

Over the next few years the following would happen:

1. She would lie to him about dudes in her past.
2. She would accuse him of sleeping with women that he’d been friends with forever and never slept with.
3. She demanded that he inconvenience himself countless times. She was completely inconsiderate of his life. Long story short, there’s a story around here about the time that she demanded he leave the club after he purchased a few bottles and come pick her up and take her home because she was drunk.
4. She said to him numerous times, “I don’t want kids, I don’t like what they do to a woman’s body.” And this fool wanted a big family!

All this was happening and he’s just staying in this relationship thinking that by some divine intervention it would work out. And you know what at a certain point, he knew it wouldn’t but that didn’t stop him from buying that ring.

When he said, “So I went ring shopping this weekend” we all looked at him and said, “Word?” As a friend, you can never say, “DUDE THAT’S A HORRIBLE IDEA!” It gets awkward once he gets defiant and still ends up marrying her anyway. So we did what anyone else would do, we waited until he got around to telling us why he was marrying her. This guy said this, “You know, I’ve been with her for so long that I figured, might as well just get married.” And we all looked around and said, “That shit ain’t gonna last.” (We didn’t say that aloud, we just said, “Word.”) And sure enough, right around the moment he decided that it was time to come clean, do you know what happened?

He was now a man, 29 years old, single and with $500,000 worth of debt because of he paid for a ring, house and down payments of a wedding. Now when a woman is looking at my friend, they’re thinking, “He’s a great guy, but that’s a lot of debt .” He f*cked up his draft position by staying with a chick he knew he didn’t want to be with too damn long.

Get the hell out of there.


Lola said...

Great post! This always goes both ways, i don't know why any one wuld get upset about this post

Anonymous said...

But everytime I see that pic of KimK, (which is only on your blog)lol. I focus my attention to the look on Khloe's face in the background. Why is it so funny to me??!!

Love this post--im sure you know that already.

Anonymous said...

You hit the nail right on the head. I was trying to tell my beautiful best friend (#1 draft pick easily) this in college. She wanted marriage & kids. She didn't fast forward 15 year. Her options are very limited.

My mom always told me if you want marriage give a man 1 year tops & if you are not planning a wedding LEAVE -DON'T LOOK BACK!

Great post...I wish more women who want marriage knew this...

Top5DOA said...

Lmaooo ... Love the last pic ... Lol

I agree to all of this and i'm positive Drake would take exception to the GQ quote.

I started breaking up with women as soon as i knew that the relationship wasn't the move the beginning of my freshman year in HS and I've stuck to that ever since...

The day we accept being the bad guy, is the day we become invincible.

SMilez_920 said...

Great post

That girl must have had some "gold” in between her legs, b/c she moved from I’m just smashing to "so I’m going ring shopping" in your friends head.

I think everyone should live by this. If it's not working let it go. We waste time trying to make it work with people, it don’t need to work with. When were young we are very hopeful in the relationship department and stay with people who we know we should have left at month 6 in the relationship.

Ms.DulceDeLeche said...

LMAO at these pictures! People drag situations hoping they will magically change when in reality that is far from the truth. Great post!

48 said...

lol great post. I love that quote from GQ; honesty is the main thing that sets real gentlemen apart.