Monday, February 22, 2010

Calling me like everything is cool

I have to admit that it’s slightly a bother when you haven’t spoken to someone in a few months and they call you out of the blue. Especially because there are so many reasons why someone falls out of contact with another person. For me, I’m not necessarily always going to be the type of guy who tells you about yourself before I make the decision to stop talking to you. In my opinion, if I notice that I don’t really care about you anymore or you’ve done something that has lead me to decide against maintaining communication with you, I may just never call you back or reach out to you.

But then I think that the other person figures out that they haven’t heard from me or I haven’t been “online.” That’s usually when they attempt to reach out, they may send a text. I actually like text messages because they are easy to ignore. They may call. I hate when people call because I never know why a person is calling so I try and pick up unless I’m positive I know the nature of their call.

Do you ever have those moments when your phone rings and you look at whose calling and try and guess what they’re calling about? I do. If I can tell why a person is calling, I’m likely to not pick up. I also, only give a person but so many times of wasting my time in a conversation before I start to ignore their calls too. My goal of 2010 is to be about my business. That has meant that for me, I’ve begun to put the phone down more and focus more on other things. I’m more focused at work and outside of work than I ever have been. The best way to reach me is via email or text, but when a person calls I’m always like, “What do they want?” And being the nice person I am I pick up.

And that’s when the awkwardness starts. The phone rings and it goes like this:

Me: hello
Her: hey, what’s up?
Me: nothing much, how are you?
Her: I’m good, what are you up to?
Me: Um… nothing.
Her: Oh well tell me what’s new.
Me: Awkward silence.

I realize that sometimes people just want to touch base because they feel like out of touch, but I mean if there was a clear reason for why we are not talking anymore, this call is a waste of time. If a person is interested in keeping in touch with you, they make an effort not to let it go abruptly or for so long. (I’m going to give you some advice about phone calls. If you call someone and they ask, “Who’s this?” That’s probably a good sign you shouldn’t be on the phone.)

So now I’m trying to figure out how to get off the phone without being an ass. I usually try a few things. I’m either busy at the moment and will have to call back later. (I ain’t calling back.) I let the person talk until they realize that they are the only one talking. And then they get off the phone on their own. My very favorite is to turn the volume up on everything that’s around me, TV, radio, EVERYTHING. This makes them feel like they’re interrupting me and then they let me go. I can then apologize for being busy and tell them it was nice to hear from them.

All this to say, I think when people call you and it’s completely out of the blue, it’s moments like those that really bother a person and make them feel weird. In other words, “EEK!”


Shubby Doo said...

hmmm...i got a booty call from a guy who has never called me before. he had had my number for over a year and wanted to hook up for valentines. i laughed out loud and said "never in a million years."

but seriously my vice is not staying in touch...has been ever since i was a kid. it gets claustrophobic for’s my bad but my friends and family know it's just me

turning up the volume on everything is just plain cold.

m said...

Love, love, love this post. It's like you're singing my life. I am notorious for not answering my phone because talking on the phone is time-sucking. I have a few friends that just have to be on the phone at all times so they'll just call anyone to keep them company. Their calls are automatically screened - I look at the phone when they call and ask myself, "what are the odds they are calling me for any real reason?". And I go about my business.
I get that people sometimes just want to chat or catch up. In that case, you should ask me if I'm busy (so I can say no and get the hell off the phone) before you start bombarding me with the minutiae of your day or telling me what madness Frankie is talking about on BET right now. I'm not interested.
I have to train people in my life to contact me via email or text message only. If they choose to call, I assume it's because whatever they have to say is non-urgent. Sooner or later they learn.

Muze said...

this was hilarious. and true. lol