Friday, August 12, 2011

Can you figure out how to love?

You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t ever figure out
How to love
You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever
Now you in this corner tryna put it together
How to love
For a second you were here
Now you over there
It’s hard not to stare, the way you moving your body
Like you never had a love
Never had a love

When you was just a youngin your looks were so precious
But now you’re grown up
So fly it’s like a blessing but you can’t have a man look at you for 5 seconds
Without you being insecure
You never credit yourself, so when you got older
It’s seems like you came back 10 times over
Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner
Looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder

People hate this song. I reacted like many when I first heard the song, the first thing that came to mind was, “Why is Wayne singing again?” I personally don’t think that many of the R&B artists in the music industry can really sing when you take out the filters and auto tune, but I just prefer that Wayne raps than sings. It wasn’t until we were forced to listen to the song on the radio over and over again that I started to actually listen to the lyrics. And that’s when I thought to myself, “If you people would shut up for a second and listen to the song, you’d see there’s some truth to it.”

The first thing that stands out to me is that there are two types of beautiful people in this world; ones who don’t know they’re pretty and ones who know they’re pretty but don’t want their looks to determine anything for them. For many pretty people society is going to constantly tell them they’re not pretty, or they’re going to continuously bring them down. This isn’t about the pretty people, it’s about that people who don’t have any self-esteem will always insist on bringing others down so they don’t have to live in the reality of their own world. Instead of spending more time working on how they can feel better about themselves, they want pretty people to feel bad, so they can feel what they feel. You also have those people who are pretty but you can never pay them a compliment without it being thrown in your face. I get it, I understand it, you never want someone to just assume that you aren’t smart because you’re pretty. I’m a man, and I’d be lying if I didn’t experience a bit of this in the workplace. The problem is, I have worked with young ladies who weren’t all that smart but they were attractive. Myself, I don’t really judge a woman’s brain by her looks, but if her brain is dumb, and she’s attractive, then I may judge all her accomplishments by her looks. But if you’re ever the type to preempt a compliment by refusing to accept comments on your beauty because you’d rather have comments on your wit and smarts, then you’re defensive and that’s offensive.

You had a lot of dreams that transformed to visions
The fact that you saw the world affected all your decisions
But it wasn’t your fault
Wasn’t in your intentions
You the one here talking to me
You don’t wanna listen
But I admire your poppin bottles and dippin’
Just as much as you admire bartending and stripping
Baby, so don’t be mad
Nobody else trippin
You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crook

Me and my line brother always tell girls, the greatest benefit of dating younger women like 21 and 22 is that they still have hopes and dreams. The world gets to you. Once the world gets a hold of your mind it will change your perspective on dreams. You’ll start to doubt your ability to ever achieve your dreams. I know some girls who chase their dreams until they meet a few men who they thought were good guys but they turned out to be wack. They abandon their dreams and aspirations for men and then when these men disappoint, they lump those dreams up in the same with that dude. That ain’t right. The world will convince you that you can’t dream. It’s funny the world makes you pessimistic. It will change you from chasing your dreams to paying your bills.

When you get these women it’s so hard to date them because they are always full of reasons why shit won’t ever work out. That pessimism weighs heavy on a man. A man sometimes don’t think you’re a bad girl but he think that you’ve been so scarred that you irreparable. Most men spend mad time trying to get you to look in the mirror and realize that you have to learn how to love. You have to learn that all that assertiveness and aggressiveness has its place, but it’s not in your relationship. Dudes want to approach way more women than they do, but it’s because of the circumstance that you feel you may be talking to some women who is not ready to hear what you trying to say that dudes will throw her by the waste side. It’s a lot of quality women out here who lose out because they don’t know how to love.

See I just want you to know
That you deserve the best
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
And I want you to know, you’re far from the usual
Far from the usual

You see you had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart
Never really had luck, couldn’t ever figure out
How to love
How to love


Reecie said...

I actually love this song. well not with Wayne singing it. Brandon Hines has a version I adore.

and I know at work I have gotten perks or advantages from being attractive and it really works in my favor with 2520s because I guess when you are also pleasant and smile a lot you don't pose a threat to them. its kinda off putting when they finally recognize oh yes you're intelligent too! I mean I didn't get these degrees with my looks but I digress.

I do think its important to not let disappoint of people affect your dreams. it may throw you off kilter for a bit, but you gotta get it back. Life and age hasn't jaded me, thank goodness.

I think there are way more men that don't know how to love, but maybe a lot of women that don't know how to differentiate between lust and love, and communicate effectively what they desire and deserve from a mate.

max said...

Like I said on twitter, I was in the midst of listening to this song for the first time when I started reading this post.

I loved both.

I kinda wish I could take back all the times I've said I loved something you've written so it would be more impactful when I say I fucking loved this post. There's so much truth in it and it moved me (in the traditional sense of the word, not the other way).

I want to say more, but it's not for the e-streets so I'll just say this gave me a lot to reflect on and leave it at that.

Lenore said...

Very insightful and very true. I agree that many women can lose site of their dreams because of the way they've been affected in relationships. I do believe however that women get to a stage in their lives where they come full circle and start to dream again. I'm dreaming right now, I have big dreams and I'm not going to let anyone or anything stop me.

Adonis said...

My mentor David told me

"And there are only two kinds of respect: Fear and Admiration. I'll take what I can get."

So being that in 2011 most available women are on BS... Love is optional for me.


Dee said...

I've always had the mindset of setting a really high goal, then once I reach it, re-setting the bar even higher. I never wake up disappointed, or uninspired. Next day challenges are always better than yesterdays.

I look where I am today, and I appreciate the fact that I've never let disappointment stunt my personal or career growth.