|You cats can't keep up like you used to.|
Richard: Get out of here. You're getting married?
Richard: Nikki Tru is walking down the aisle?
Nikki: I'm closing the deal. Sean is in real estate.
Richard: What happened?
Nikki: Uh... I was at this party. I was talking to this guy - I don't even remember what we were talking about - and... this little 22-year-old girl walks by. And he was like,”Oh, excuse me, I got to...“ Then it hit me. You know, I'm 32 years old. I'm the old bitch at the club now. Think it was the first time in my life I was talking to a man who wasn't even thinking about fucking me. So, then I met Sean. And I said to myself, I got to make this work. So we're getting married in June.
(Source: I Think I Love My Wife)
|They're good with me, but still...|
Now that we’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way, lol. Despite all of that, I do not want any woman to be the old bitch in the club and it’s a few reasons why.
|Find yourself riding around with white people |
using the n-word -- a LOT.
|Ain't nothing about you like a virgin.|
|That's messed up your friends left you like this...|
|You ain't slick Eva, your ass getting old too!|
5. You’re ready to settle for less than desired options – I went to my boy for some advice on some thoughts I had about a few women that we’ve idolized since we graduated from college. He’s a few years ahead of me and I asked him, “Let’s say a dude wifed her down and threw a ring on it, would people look at him like he won, or would they look at him like the dude she finally settled down with?” No matter how we sliced that pie we kept coming up with the same solution, if you wait until the girl has decided that she’s ready to settle down, you’re never the first option, you’re the last. As women get older they have to think about their “draft position.” The older you get, you may be able to still pull a couple guys in the club, but those rookies are threatening to take your spot. You’re no longer in your prime, you’re looking at retirement. I’ve seen some chicks in the club who were like Brett Favre, trying to give it that last go. If I had to break old b*tches in the club down in terms of football analogies; the older chick who on any given day could give a younger sister a run for her money, like a Stacey Dash is Brett Favre with the Jets, she can still find a job, but we all know she’s 43. The older chick who really doesn’t have any business still out there trying to play with the little b*tches even though she still got a fatter ass than most of them, like a Lisa Raye is Brett Favre with the Vikings. That older chick who’s not quite that old, but she got a kid so dudes take that into consideration when deciding if they want to deal with her, like a Lauren London is Jim Tressel. LOL… I’m sorry I was waiting to say that all post long, anyway you get the point.
|This is just nasty...|
Debbie: I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line, who the fuck are you? I have just as much of a right to be here as any of these little skanky girls. What, am I not skanky enough for you, you want me to hike up my fucking skirt? What the fuck is your problem? I'm not going anywhere, you're just some roided out freak with a fucking clipboard. And your stupid little fucking rope! You know what, you may have power now but you are not god. You're a doorman, okay. You're a doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, doorman, so... Fuck You! You fucking fag with your fucking little faggy gloves.
Doorman: I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I fuckin' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
Doorman: You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a black midget in the crowd.
(Source: Knocked Up)