Friday, December 18, 2009

I Thought I Closed The Door

I’m going to break my silence about high school. This should be as no surprise to any of you but by the time I had went to college I had been in 4 serious relationships at that point. One from 7th grade, who then moved out of the country and then came back and didn’t even tell me she came back which pissed me off. When I finally spoke to her about it she told me that she didn’t know what to say or if I wanted to just pick up where things left off, since it had been about 3 years. Three in high school in no particular order; one cheated, one was just awkwardly selfish and immature and the other was like my best friend but we have since drifted apart. Out of the three the one I really hoped would have materialized into something was the selfish and immature one. But it just didn’t seem to work out as planned. I went away to school and I think that kind of put a damper on anything that was going to come of it.

After my first year of college I came back to DC and I linked up with her to catch up, but she was a little hesitant at first, kept saying she had gained weight. I didn’t really care though, I just wanted to see her. And well, she had gained weight, moreover she had a new boyfriend who was a loser. I always knew she’d end up with a loser if I didn’t keep up with her and it happened. After that interaction I was like you know what I’m good off this. Plus I was in paradise at my college with the amount of women there it took no time forgetting all the women in DC. Then I graduated and I saw her again and again I was in a relationship at the time and she didn’t look better than the girl I was seeing at the time so it made it easier to just ignore her again. I always thought she was really pretty and beyond sexy, but I am always hesitant with dating certain women because of their likelihood of breaking a heart. If you know me you’ll know exactly what I mean, I won’t say it here because it’s not necessary.

Anyway, this morning I got on the train headed to work a few minutes late. It is freezing cold in DC by the way. I’m shivering my ass off and I can’t check my touch phone because you can’t do that with gloves on. So as soon as I get on the train I take out my phone and I start checking messages. As I roll into a station after a few stops I look up and immediately I recognized the girl it was her. You can’t forget certain faces. As soon as I saw her, she saw me and walked towards me. It was a crowded train so she wasn’t able to get to me until the next stop but immediately when I saw her I was like WOW, and by the look on her face her reaction was the same. She looked really good, like not just good, but really good. So we talked about things, caught up on things and asked where each other was going. She only had a few stops, but we were able to discuss how we fell out of contact and why we haven’t linked up in so long, maybe 6 years. Turns out she looked for me on facebook but my profile is 100% private, and I looked for her, but her page is 100% private. So we agreed we’d have to find a higher level. We exchanged business cards and she got off at her stop.

So I’m holding this business card and I’m thinking to myself, what do you do when you’ve closed the door on a particular chapter in your life for good reason. Do you look back and ask what if, or do you just keep moving on? I try and tell myself that everything happens for a reason so if it were meant to be, then it would be. Right?

I’ll be posting in a few days about whether I choose to use the business card or not. Let me first say this before I get hate email if I used this business card it would not be for the purposes of trying to rekindle an old flame it would only be to keep in touch with an old friend.

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