Wednesday, September 29, 2010

7 Good Reasons Why, "I’m a G"

At times in my life, I do some things that make me laugh, and I can’t even explain it. One of my good friends told me once, the key to getting away with ish, is to never think you’re doing anything wrong. This right here … is my swag. So, I talk a lot about men and their defense mechanisms, but I guess this is my offensive mechanism, I’m a G. Being a G, is far from being a gangster, it’s about being the man and not caring what people think because you don’t need affirmation. Anyway, here are some things that I do, that I can only explain by saying, “I’m A G.”

1. I wear sunglasses in the club – I’m not afraid to admit it, I’m guilty of doing this. Although, I’m not afraid to be seen in the club because I am not cock eyed, nor do I have ugly eyes. I actually enjoy the moment when I take off the glasses in the club and women, #noeddielong, see my eyes and go, “Wow.” However, I enjoy the privileges of saying, “can’t see in, can’t see out,” this is why we wear irodiums.

2. Showing up inappropriately dressed to events – Don’t tell me it’s a black tie, semi-formal, or black party, or anything of that nature. I like to stand out, so if it’s a black party, I’m showing up in all red. I’ve always been known to be that friend who is yelling at the bouncer/promoter, these shoes are FASHION FORWARD and cost more than your outfit, whadahellyoumean, “no tennis shoes.”

3. Caught in between two women you are sleeping with, or at least trying to sleep with – #BACKINTHEDAY... Man wasn't nothing like talking to a chick at the bar, thinking you just out for drinks and your other chick shows up. Most men try and run in the bathroom like Bleek in Harlem Blues, but people like me, I just let it ride. I tell myself, “I’m a G” and act like everything is gravy. I’ll even introduce the chicks. And if I get a text message from chick #2 asking, “Are you talking to that girl?” I will probably reply, “Bitch, I might be.”

4. Having to run from a chick’s house because her baby daddy came home – If you’ve followed me on twitter you know that me and baby daddies always have confrontations. But in addition to that, women love to have boyfriends and tell you after the fact. I’m Deion Sanders, not Rae Carruth. I’d much rather take my chances running, than hiding.

5. Extremely too drunk for the sun not to have gone down - #DDGW, day drinking gone wrong is an army and a movement. There are times when I go to brunch for unlimited mimosas, then I go sit on a roof and just pound margaritas, and then I’m playing beer pong until 6PM … rock star lifestyle, WILL NOT MAKE IT. Then I wake up at 2AM, mad because I fell asleep around 6:45PM and couldn’t get back up. Either that, or I take a 5-hour energy and come to grips with the fact that, I-M-B-E-N-T!

6. Buying a bottle and walking around with it – At least, I’ll get a champagne flute too and drink out of that.

7. Coming up with reasons why things go good in my life and in an attempt to act like I didn’t have to work hard for it – It’s hard work to get to the top of anything. But a top dog never shows you that he puts in blood, sweat and tears. Her: Please explain why all these bad ass girls are Skype’ing with you now. Me: I don’t know, because I’m a G.



max said...

I think that as a woman I'm technically supposed to be rolling my eyes at this behaviour but for some reason I find it charming.

Sukez said...

Lol. Bravo Jackson. You are in fact a G. But you didn't need this comment to confirm it. That sunglasses in the club deserves a laugh. and the last one. Damnit, the whole list was pretty dope.

The Cocoa Luv Chronicles said...

Well this was funny. Side eye to the sunglasses in the club...but whatever you are a G. I've been saying that lately about myself especially when I get emo. I will still mush a baby.

Sarah Desamours said...

Ok LOL I don't get #6!! I see that whenever I go clubbing in the U.S....Your bottles are 3 times more expensive than in Canada, but guys just buy them, walk around with them, take pictures with them...and barely drink it!! Damn! If I was buying a 400$ bottle of alcohol you best believe that I'll be drinking out of it, and NOT walking around with it! lol