Monday, September 13, 2010

Gym Bunnies: The New Black Male Phenomenon

Gym Bunny: (n.) A gay man who spends an obsessive amount of time in the gym working on sculpting his body -- not for health reasons -- only to show it off in a club or on the beach.

In 2006, I looked at my bill from Gold’s Gym and I said, “$89 a month? Something’s got to give.” I considered my physique and I thought to myself, if women find T.I. attractive and sexy, I’m not going back to the gym. You see in my house, we call $89 beer money. And trust me on this one, there’s no possible way that I will ever have a beer belly, (1) it’s just impossible, I lie to nobody, I’m bringing skinny back…. (2) As much laughing as I do in normal conversation, I get an ab workout every day. With that said, I live a healthy life, I prefer to walk over drive, I can tackle pretty much any DC Metro escalator without huffing and puffing my way to the top, (If any of you have ever caught the Metro in DC, you know that this is no easy feat), and so I’m not a couch potato, I just don’t go to the gym. So whenever anyone starts talking about going to the gym, I say, “I haven’t been to the gym in four years, I don’t know what that is about.” God has blessed me.

However in 2010, it seems that more and more men are finding the gym to be their favorite place to be twice a day, or at least once a day. I blame Jersey Shore and Salt-n-Pepa music videos. I can understand why women go to the gym, I really can understand that. I can understand why they go in droves too. Men really do seek women out based primarily on aesthetics. (Don’t get offended, I just can’t differentiate who I’m going to approach based on a personality I haven’t met yet.) So I get surprised when all the men in my twitter timeline at 9AM are tweeting: “Just got out of the gym, I feel great, time to start the day!” I find it funny because I have a feeling that some of these same people who are in gym every day will be on dialysis by the time they’re 40, but I digress.

I am from the school of thought that you don’t talk about it, you be about it, therefore, I don’t need to hear about it. Makes me think that people are tweeting about being in the gym because they want someone to know they have been in the gym rather than being in the gym. Sort of like those females who go to the gym walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes and think they did something. The gym is to Black men what Whole Foods and Starbucks is to young professionals, the place to be. I’ll be honest with y’all, I have friends who are trainers and nutritionists and they don’t tweet half as much as some of my male friends who are trying to get from 185 to 225 before next summer.

Do you remember how back in the day a group of guys would meet at the park and run pickup games of basketball? Now, they meet at the gym early on Saturday mornings and workout together. I’m sorry but where I’m from grown men shouldn’t be around other grown men that early in the morning, grunting, and perspiring and such. Why can’t we go back to the old days, shirts versus skins playing pickup basketball? I think that’s a lot easier to tell our ladies how we spend our time than, “Oh baby, me and the boys was in the sauna for like 45 minutes today.”

Maybe I’m just hating, but it’s annoying.

On a serious note, I think that we should embrace people who are trying to better themselves health wise. There are so many impurities that go into our bodies and we live in a society that embraces obesity. I commend those of you who go to gym regularly and think that you set a good example for the greater good. Although, I’m taking shots at gym bunnies and men engaging in suspect behavior, otherwise known as male malfeasance, I think that it’s good that Black folk stay healthy and fit. Don’t let it be just the gym that keeps you healthy, watch your diet and the poisons you allow your body to fall victim. Stay thirsty my friends… for muscle milk that is.


Redbonegirl97 said...

I love the "I am bringing skinny back". There is nothing wrong with being slender just so long that you do not look like a bird.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

Tunde said...

i promise if i didn't love hooping so much i would cancel my membership to the YMCA. the only workout you really need is running. i promise it's a total body workout. i only pay about $30/month so i guess it's not that bad.

Anonymous said...

hahahahaa grenades and shots all around!

Anonymous said...

Gym Bunnies... haaaaaaaaaaaaa lmao!!!!!

NC17 said...

I hate going to the gym, but I love observing at the gym because it's like a sitcom. I go to this small hole in the wall called hollywood gym where it's 3 types of people: The gay dudes from west hollywood who are serious about their cardio and love to eye flirt. The steroid muscle freaks who giggle at guys like me who can't bench press properly. And my all time favorite, the actor/producer/agent who spends his 35 minute elliptical session on his phone name dropping.

SaneN85 said...

Wait, you're supposed to do more than walk n the treadmill for 20 minutes?

Oh, and $89 o_0! I also pay $30 so I can't relate to paying that much.