Monday, April 12, 2010

Dude, please stop it.

I have a friend. And she has a stalker.

She legitimately has a guy who is watching her and then emailing her. Let’s not talk about how he got her email address. I understand the plight of the Black woman in DC. You just never know when you say no to a guy if he’s going to pull out a gun and shoot you. (THIS really happens in DC.) What draws me to this situation is how weird this guy is. He is a total nut case. Creepazoid swagger on a trillion.

It got me to thinking about how some dudes are so creepy. I understand it’s DC and in DC most men are wack. We just aren’t required to be anything else. Literally, men just stand there. There are so many women that the women approach men, or give smiles and winks… and then the men walk over and say “what you doing after the club?” But anyway…

I am always surprised when I hear from females things that my male friends have said to women they are trying to date. The funniest is one of my female friends who is uber independent hits me up and says, “You know what I don’t like about your boy, he always call me and be like, Where you at? Negro, you don’t need to know where I am.”

Anyway I digress, read below. (Point of information: She did not respond to him in between these messages.)

4/2/2010 -
Hi' I'm trying to type without seeing what I'm typing. This new laptop is difficult to figure out I have alot to talk with you about.

Please give me a chance to figure out how to say what I feel . First , You are a woman,but I see you as a person . When I first met you , you semed to be not so sociable . But when M.J. passed, and I spoke to you on it , for the first time, I seen you smiled . It was so pretty and sunshiney like. Now you don't smile anymore. Well it's late and I will chat with you tomorrow. I am not trying to crack on you, just be my friend / chat buddy. I have alot to chat with you about . Please respond back with a smile . -WEIRDO P.S. don't be afraid of me. I'm harmless . A single parent that raised two kids from 6 and 7 years old to now 21 and 22 years of age by myself . they are now grown and it's time for daddy to have friends again. You are the brightest pretty face on this block and I claim you as my M.J. fan buddy. I still grieve for M.J. don't tell anybody !!! I'm a sensitive gentleman thug . without the thug mentality. Yes a brother will cry if his heart is touched the right way. My heart was touched when I seen that u could smile . No I did not fall in love . Just touched . I play the piano, bass guitar, trumpet and a little drum set. I'm a carpenter and a painter . I draw portiats and I sometimes go to church. Lol


4/6/2010 –

[MY FRIEND] , am I being too foward towards you ?? You don't want me in your business ??? or is it, you don't know how to have a friend without wanting them sexually ,you can't have a friend without wanting him sexaully ??? I LIKE YOU , I DON'T know why , I just do , I don't want you sexaully . It Feels like I know you . Like I met you somewhere before . When I see you , I just want to kick it with you . Please don't mis-understand my wanting to be your friend . What is it that I can do , to at least get you to trust me . [MY FRIEND] I will
not hurt you , I promise !!! I'm use to having beutiful weman in my life . Iv'e been alone for all these years just to take care of my children with out any distractions of a greedy self absorbed selfish gold digger . Now I want friends since my children are grown . Will you be a friend . Can you at least answer that trufully.



Streetz said...


Restraining order ftw!

Anonymous said...

Whoa. Restraining order and remedial creative writing STAT!

Diana said...

Plz get ur friend a restraining order, a german shepard or other big attack dog, some crazy big guy friends, possibly a gun and definitely a new email address! And somebody give the emailing dude a speak and spell!

Anamaria said...

ummm that is really creepy! who does that?? and FYI you saying that you will not hurt me over and over again makes me think that you are a creepo rapist. on a side note, he really needs spell check and a grammar lesson.

m said...

Damn. My brain almost spontaneously combusted trying to compute those messages. Why is it that crazy dudes are always illiterate?

ZDubb said...

He said it right... "Just touched."


I"m having flashbacks...I had a couple of stalkers and that ish is nothing to play with. So sad...

So one of two things can happen, she keeps ignoring him, and he gives up, or it gets worse.

I hope he doesn't know where she lives/works

Nick@nite said...

i had a couple stalkers.. i mean, literal, "write you a note, stand out your store window and look at you, 'i'm in love with you'" stalkers.. the ish is nothing to play with..

as well as, (now that it's over).. it makes your lame quotient go up OH SO HIGH!!

as an english major.. you can understand how i felt reading that.. (they don't have spell check where he's at?)
funny though, in Miami, the women say that the men down here just have to stand and do nothing... maybe that's happening everywhere.. it's an epidemic!!
she needs to get "Pookie n nem" to go rough up dude.. that works in the movies, don't it?? but seriosuly, she needs to get that restraining order joint.. because i feel like this is the part of the movie RIGHT BEFORE the ish gets hectic!!

Freckles said...

so he is an old man huh? craziness. the emails are strange. way super eerie too. tell her to be careful and be sure to watch her back sir. gee.

DevyneMyzT said...

*locks doors*
*changes email*
*logs off Twittah*
*rocks in corna with a knife*
This is SCARY @ ME!!!!