Thought about what I wanted to say for some time. Realized that sometimes you have to spend hours in deep thought to find the words to say. I’m one of those people who doesn’t get quiet because I don’t have anything to say, but I get quiet because I want to choose my words carefully. That’s why I get so pissed off when I’m misquoted or my words are turned around to mean something they weren’t intended to do. That’s right, I speak with intent.
With that said, the amount of utter malfeasance in the blogworld causes me great pain, no let me be honest, I’m just annoyed. When I got involved I thought that this was the new wave. This was the new Spoken Word. And being one of those who was a great slam poet, I knew this whole thing would sooner or later become competitive. My goal as a writer or blogger, whatever you want to call it, was to speak. To say the things that everyone is thinking, but no one wants to say aloud. I didn’t want to paint a picture for anyone about sex, dating and relationships that was false and void of any real meaning. I can say, Black relationships are perfectly fine, but I wouldn’t be doing what we know on the inside is true. The current state of Black love is not dead or in a hospice, but it is on dialysis. And I’m not just tied to just talking about that, I can talk about so much more and I try to.
I wrote my first eBook and I gave it away for free, because that’s actually the type of person I am. I’m not always trying to make a profit, sometimes I just want you to read. I don’t want to be heralded as the best writer on the streets, tweets or indifferent. Some people who have the most followers on twitter and on their feedburner are actually very wack in real life. Nonetheless, I just wanted to be a part of a movement. And because of my success it is not short of attacks, bad criticism and hate. That’s cool though, it comes with the territory. I don’t beef with other blogs, I’ll sit here and tell you that I show love to all those who show love to me, and even some of those who don’t show love to me.
There are several self-pretentious bloggers out there who spend most of their time speaking over people’s heads. There are some that spend time speaking to their comment section. They won’t say anything that offends the reader because they need that love, that’s something I don’t need. As an artist, I’ve always thought that it was my goal to work on my art and my craft and present that to my readers. People don’t read me to hear a reincarnation of themselves, they read me because they think that I’ve got talent and something to say. I’m not self-pretentious, but I may be a little over confident, that overconfidence leads me to be great. I think that if you have to tell someone you’re great, or you have to tweet, “This might be my greatest work yet,” you really need a hug.
I’m not perfect, and I’m not trying to be. No one ever likes the perfect guy, they want the guy with the flaws and all. I’m a gentleman and I probably have spent too much money on my personal life. But you know what, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take it with me, so I want to spend it now. I’ve said some things I shouldn’t have, but I’ve never regretted it. Realize that I live by one rule, do unto others as you would have done unto you. And that’s how I live.
I don’t brag or boast, but I spend hours upon hours working on projects that aren’t my own. I show support, and I respond to my readers even the smallest ones. I’m not looking for a fight and I’m not willing to argue or exchange in discourse with people who are only intent in proving me wrong. Listen, you don’t have to tell me I’m wrong, I’ve been wrong before and I don’t intend on being right my whole life. And if there are people who search for perfection and I can do anything I try my hardest to support them in their efforts. I don’t want to be perfect, but to each their own. I put people on to opportunities, I’m looking to make everyone around me better, because that’s going to encourage me to be better. I’m not going to sit on great opportunities that I cannot take advantage of. I know my limits and I know when someone actually wants someone with more talent than myself, I yield way.
Let me put it like this, “I did this for us.” I want everybody on stage like Wu Tang. But there are some people who are so caught up in themselves they can’t even see the light, they can’t see how beautiful being a part of the Renaissance can be.
Describe myself in words? Yes, I can do that. Loyal, Integrity, Respect, Love, Honest, Sincere and Genuine. You won’t see any cut cards when it comes to me. Add to that: Original, Daring, Unafraid, Inconsistent, and Dumb. I’ve got so much to learn, but I’m not afraid to throw some shit at the wall and see what sticks.
As ignorant as people think my blogs are, they don’t tell you that one-on-one, I’m one of those guys who sits down and has a conversation with you. I’m not interested in screwing my readers, and I’m not using them to write my next article. I’m willing to help someone in need, however, I can. I support, I support, I freaking support anyone I can, because it’s the right thing to do. I’m allegedly so full of myself that I don’t have time for anyone, but I can find a way to support just about everybody in my network, then it baffles me when someone tells me this about another blogger, “Oh yeah he said he doesn’t read your blog.” I’m an asshole, but I’m an asshole with values. I’m a charming man, but I’m a gentleman first. People think that I come off the top of my head with this, but they don’t tell you that I spend tons of my personal time reading everyone else’s blogs, reading books, and talking with people to learn what’s out there. What’s been tried before and what’s worked for someone else. But I don’t need to cite a source when I post an article, all I want you to do is read. If you like it, you do, if you don’t, that’s fine.
So as readers you have to ask yourself who are you going to support? To hell to the guy who has the most followers if that’s what his goals are. Screw you, if you only support yourself, can’t even support anyone else, not even a reply on twitter. Nobody cares that you have an elaborate vocabulary, if no one understands what you’re talking about. Say it straight, and say it plain so that everyone gets the information, which is more important than flexing your vocab pipes. And death be unto the faux-sensitive bloggers who are intentionally trying to make women swoon when in reality they are closet misogynists! I think readers have to figure out what they connect with. I think they have to figure out, if they’re going to continue to listen to someone when they consistently say, “Oh those guys are wack” or “I don’t like his writing, but to each their own.” Real talk, what is your goal behind saying that?
I don’t know man, it’s like I said earlier, the amount of utter malfeasance in the blogworld has gotten out of hand. I’m starting to wonder what the meaning of it all is. I am not seeing anybody who thinks they have truly arrived, so I think before the infighting gets to a point where weapons is drawn, like on the internet where the real thugs are, we should reevaluate these gaudy claims by our fellow comrades in bloggery and how we as writers can be more supportive of one another.