Friday, June 3, 2011

Basic Broads Out Here Winning

I hope don't none of y'all know this guy, but this go to show you even light skin girls be basic like sh*t.
I’ll keep it real, there’s about as much ghostwriting going on in the blogsphere as there is in hip hop, so it shouldn’t surprise you that I thought about ghostwriting this post and giving it to some female out there to post on her blog.  But then I thought to myself, the people want fire give them fire.  The people want the Ratchet Music Label shit, give them the anthems.  Before I get started I want to say that Most touched on this topic over at his blog The Lower Frequency, when he said, Lames Dudes Out Here Winning.  I liked that post, but I thought that I would borrow his instrumental and do my own piece.  Anyway…

Almost got punched in the face the other day for telling someone that his girl was “a good look” and “a solid 5.”  I didn’t think I was being disrespectful or anything, but what I was saying is that she wasn’t ugly and she held him down.  She was a good girl, she wasn’t the prettiest girl in the room, but she had other things that made up for it.  It’s a lot of women like this out there too, and people sleep on them.

Now I want to define a basic broad for everybody because it’s kind of confusing.  A basic broad doesn’t have anything that really stands out that puts her ahead of the pack at first glance.  In fact, even when you dig deep there’s probably someone who does every thing she does better than she does.  But what makes a basic broad a basic broad is that she scores “basic” on so many categories that it makes her serviceable.  Of course there are all types of broads out there, you have pretty ass broads, ugly broads, and you even have bad ass broads.  Now a bad ass broad, she basically scores high on every category, her only weakness is; she knows she is a bad ass broad.  And as a bad ass broad she makes you work a little more than you want to, just to show you that she’s worth the world.  But a basic broad, no no no, they aren’t that stupid, they know that you could do better, they just want to do what they got to do to keep you around.

Here are some characteristics of basic broads:

Nobody likes a close talker, except for this girl...
Every man has his faults and his pet peeves, and we’ll do just about anything to get our way, for that reason a basic broad succeeds because she’s willing to coddle her man.  A man needs for a woman not to flip out about the fact that he might do some real questionable behavior.  This may come in the form of liking something just the way his mother used to prepare it for him, or maybe he has a character flaw that make him go into complete silence for months on end.  If she flips out a him as some other broads would do, he’ll immediately drop her like a bad habit.

Have you ever looked at a chick and said, “She’s not a looker” and so you wondered, well why is he with her?  It’s because basic broads are undercover freaks.  When you think about it, every dude out there has been involved in some real weird or freaky sex, it had to happen with someone.  I’ll be the first to tell you, I haven’t.  That’s because dime pieces have a tendency to not do what they don’t have to do in the bedroom.  And since that’s all I have ever been with, I can’t comment.  But that’s a basic broads call to fame is her bedroom activity.  She’s willing to go above and beyond to make sure that no stone is left unturned. 

He was in jail for three years, somebody made him a basic broad.
I’m a resident expert at Law & Order.  I’ve seen every episode about six times, (and still continue to watch repeats even when I know I’ve seen it before.)  But anyway, every time a dude gets in trouble and he needs an alibi he asks his girl.  And you can bet your bottom dollar if it’s a bad ass broad, she’s not copping to shit.  If the cop asks her where you were, she replies, “You got pen and paper, I’ll tell you were he’s at right now, where he was last week, I’ll tell you where he’s going when he die.”  Not your basic broad though, your basic broad has no problem telling the police that you were with her last night, or that the gun was hers and not yours.  She’ll even take a bid for you too.

One thing you can count on from a pretty ass chick is that she doesn’t go to you for any type of validation.  So unless you got one of those Ginger shorties from Vegas, chances are you ain’t going to be able to control her every move with a little coke or any other wack shit like love.  You can rely on your basic broad to never change it up too much.  I know men who come home one day and his girl done chopped off his hair, he’s got this look on his face, what in the …  Not those basic broads though.  You see once a basic broad finds something that works, she sticks to it.  She won’t have an ugly stage, neither will she have a fly stage, she’s just going to keep it basic and steady.

She can go head and fix her face, she not serious.
You can ask a basic broad to do something that she doesn’t want to do and then she performs with great attention to detail.  Personally, when you ask me to do something I don’t want to do, I either don’t do it, or I half ass it.  Now a basic broad is different, she knows that, what? … you will drop her ass like a bad habit.  So even though she might hate doing something, she’ll do it anyway because she knows she has to stay in your good graces.  You might have a driver and car outside your crib, but if you tell your basic broad to get on Metro and travel an hour to get to you at 2AM, she’ll do it.  She won’t even bitch about it when she gets to the crib either.  She’ll just laugh and say, “You know you wrong right?”  But she there though…

You ever said something almost completely disrespectful to the point that you were expecting to get in a fight or for your life to end up like Kane on moving day?  If you did that and lived to see the next day it was because you were dealing with a basic broad.  You can’t just tell any woman, “baby you know your ass is too big.”  But if she’s a basic broad, she’ll go change.  Yep, remember in Why Did I Get Married, when he told his wife to drive up instead of flying?  That’s because Jill Scott’s character was a basic broad.

Last but not least this is what a basic broad does best; she blends in.  She blends all the way in like Mystique.  She’s not ever interested in being the prettiest girl in the room, she’s never loud, nor does she ever fall out in the middle of the dance floor.  Your best basic broad convinces everyone that she doesn’t exist.  And you know what?  That’s what makes it real easy for her to get a man and keep a man.  That fool don’t even know he got a girl half the time!  All he knows is that if he needs something he can snap his fingers once or twice and magically a girl appears to take care of all his problems.

That makes basic broads strong, that make basic broads wise, and that makes basic broads the second most likely group of women to get married or in a relationship.  You don’t have any downside to the basic broad, but there’s no upside either, don’t get it twisted.  She’s reliable because you know what you’re getting in her.  Overall, people may say, she’s a 5, but most men know, there’s a lot of shit that comes with those 8-10 females, and the 6s and 7s get taken off the lot quicker than Priuses.  (You never peeped that did you, a Prius is the fastest car off the lot, it ain’t the best joint that Toyota got, but it’s serviceable and it has a great gimmick.)  So sometimes you get stuck with that Camry, but a Camry can do you service for a long time and nobody is mad at you for driving a Camry.

PS – I know what you’re thinking, but in terms of Toyota, the 8-10 would be the Lexus.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

The first post of yours that I'm left with a "What the HELL" feeling at the end of it. I'm not too sure that a woman who does all that and gets seen as basic to her man is "winning"

redlady821 said...

You are so wrong for this post but there's definitely some truths to it. I've seen "basic" but I still think the girl in the first picture is more than just basic, I think she's pretty. We beg to differ.

lashea iyonna said...

Wow very interesting article and I can relate to alot of both ends i guess were gonna have to start a new category for me.lol. I can see the "basic woman" doing any and everything to please there man and go through great lengths to do so. The bad broads know there bad have very high standards that sometimes arent attainble for a lot of guys and they refuse to settle due to there list and end up alone, single and a bad ass broad. But if we can learn to be a baddass broad with basic qualities thats when your really winning. I think im in that direction I hope all the woman follow. Basic is just such a negative term in our culture it seems demeaning but when broken down as you did ever so cleaverly it make a LOT more understandable. Thanks for the article

max said...

I don't think I'm a basic broad, but based on this description I think I have a tendency to act like one sometimes. This needs to stop immediately.

Mika's Thought's... said...

I'm so confused after reading this. Is being a basic broad an insult? Are ALL women in these categories?

I dont understand.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand your caption underneath the first picture in the article. "This goes to show that even light skin girls can be basic." I don't think it has anything to do with skin color of a chick's basicness so maybe you should revise that statement because it can be read the wrong way.

Dr. J said...

@Anonymous - You missed the satire. The comment basically goes to show you that some people consider light skin women to be attractive for no reason but that. It's like you have to inform people at times, "She's not attractive, she's just light skin." Not changing that caption, just think about it.

Tunde said...

i've definitely messed with a few basic broads in my day. i've successfully moved away from them though. its hard because you hit the nail on the head. the sex. *shrug*


Almost got punched in the face the other day for telling someone that his girl was “a good look” and “a solid 5.”

true story: when i was home last week my cousin showed me this pic of a girl on facebook and asked me what i thought. my reply? "why do you always mess with these lame chicks? she's a 5.3 at best." come to find out that was his girl and he was pretty upset. my bad. lol

SaneN85 said...

I agree with Red, that girl in the first picture is pretty. If she's a 5 to you, I need to see some pictures of your exes that are ranging in the dime area. I need to compare.

I don't feel basic, but I'm pretty sure I'd fall into a few of these categories. I mean, in the end, most of it sounds like just trying to keep your man happy and doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with having no self-respect (which is the feeling I get from these descriptions).

Almost got punched in the face the other day for telling someone that his girl was “a good look” and “a solid 5.”

You rude.

SaneN85 said...

Oooh, look at that. I only had to hit the "publish your comment" button once!!!!

Jouromeo said...

#Winning.
Without getting offended, I can agree that I love basic broads. They hold a brother down, take care of him when he sick, pick him up, visit him and just all around solid companions. Personally that is the whole purpose to getting involved with each other. All my women have been basic broads but one or two of them was around a 7.
I agree, co sign and support everything in this post.

Elle Kay said...

Based on your description of a "Basic Broad" they seem to be "Doormats with No Sense of Self". It's unfortunate if that's what a male would describe as "Winning"

Dr. J said...

I think that if anyone is confused they should read the linked post so that they fully understand the satire. That's what's missing and instead of responding to everyone individually, please see the original post to understand this one.

Adonis said...

This post is MONEY!!!

That is the type of woman I want... Call her basic...

I call her a woman who knows her place...

Even tho this is satire... It was too much truth overflowing in this post...

Adonis said...

The girl is pretty... But she is 5-6... The lightskin is irrelevant...

Basic > lightskin Thank you...

Adonis said...

@lasheaiyonna

You get it... Thank You

Adonis said...

I think alot of people forget (even myself) how beautiful the 8-10s are...

And average girls think they are beautiful too, so of course you gon say the chick is pretty...

Mr. Dapper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Dapper said...

@Tunde wrong move I have learned that the hard way.

With friends I know have similar taste I can candidly rate women with them. Some men get mist when it comes to women. You can't convince that guy something is wrong with his belle. You wish the best.

Youngest MILF said...

One of the things I think people are heavily missing about this piece is that obviously a "basic broad" is also easily "the marrying type"... I do agree that I think the girl in the main picture is pretty, but Adonis hit the nail on the head. I'm an average looking woman, but I do consider myself beautiful in my head lol. But back to the point... basic women get married. Its interesting that you suggest that a basic woman will conform to/for a man though. Consider this...perhaps that behavior is just the bait. In the end, as she becomes more beautiful and valuable to him because of the behaviors she performed to acquire him, he also works harder, wants to change for, and work harder for said "basic broad". I don't think any woman wants to walk around labeling herself basic or average or middle of the road, but I know a LOT of lonely dimes. They may always get in VIP, have the newest red bottoms or that 2011 Gucci Cruise bag...but a lot of times the guy who tricked all that off on them goes home and sleeps in bed with that basic broad. And he's not trading her.

krystllyght said...

Is it a given that if we're basic we would know or do we just have to wait and see how dudes treat us?

Anonymous said...

When are guys gonna learn that a "5" to you may be a 10 to someone else? Get a grip dude. You aren't a 10, know why? you aren't bill gates, LOL. No but seriously, get over yourself.

You almost got punched because you're a bitter lonely person who couldn't stand to see a happy couple.

Constant Meditation said...

This is the most IGNORANT,poorly written piece of shit, trying to pass for an article I have EVER schimed through. This is why you will remain in the chit'lin curcit.SMH! FAIL.

Adonis said...

@ Constant Meditation

B*tch, go play in traffic

nupe said...

to the guys on here saying they want a basic broad, that just makes you a baisc nigga or a lame one and birds of a feather flock together. to the women who say basic=marrying. WRONG. You can be a bad ass chick and be a marrying type. Your basicness does not have anything to do with you getting married. You gotta be a bad jawn to keep my attention, if i can see you, meet you, and fuck you in a week span or less sometimes depending on how free my schedule is, then you are absolutely ridiculously basic af, no excuses unless we both agree it's a 1nighter and we meet on the common grounds of being horny. Basic = Dummy; Wifey = A chick that aint afraid to disagree with me. My friend wants a girl he can tell to shut up and she will, he disagrees with me liking "CONFIDENT GIRLS" as he puts it. I tell him what he needs is a female servant or a live-in female butler that's not a wife.