Those Girls Wasn't Working Out for Me

This shit is just hilarious to me. Found it after the post was wrote.

There was this time in my life when things just started making sense for me. I wasn’t that old, the epiphany came in maybe the 6th or 7th grade, and of course a change of scenery helped to smooth over the transition. It was the moment that I realized that it probably wasn’t going to work out for me if I didn’t start exploring some other options in the dating world. You see, I’ve got this theory about dating. It’s held true up until this point, but here’s the theory: your environment combined with your level of insanity determines who you date. I know y’all don’t understand what I’m saying so let me break it down, in fact, I don’t have to do that, I’ll put it to you like this. Most Black women like Black men right? Now, most Black people roll together in the same circles, so their dating pool is typically Black men, but you have to ask, “How long do you stick it out with Black men before you look elsewhere?”

#MILK

The first person that comes to mind is Halle Berry. She dated a Black dude, he hit her with a baseball bat. She dated another Black dude, he hit her so hard she went deaf. She dated ANOTHER Black dude, he hit everything but her. She told us like George Bush told me, “f*ck you n*ggas I’m outta here” and went and got a white dude and she been shining ever since. However, we all know that Halle is a crazy bitch. And that’s why she put up with all those Black men in Hollywood for so long. She was doing Black movies and the people she dated were popular Black celebrities, but once all that craziness ran out and she was ready for a family she let that shit go and found a white man.

I got a point I’m trying to make.

A few things happened to me along the way that made me sure that I wasn’t supposed to only date Black women:

1. They used to terrorize me as a child – As a child, as a young boy, women grow faster than boys, yeah, okay I get that. But when I think about all the bullies in my neighborhood from when I was growing up, they were Black girls. I won’t holler their names individually because they might be reading, but there was one named Cassandra. She lived across the street. This girl would come all the way to play with us, just to push me around. Another named Krystal, she was just mean and bossy for no reason. She was like the rang leader, the Angelica of the bunch, but she always chose me to pick on.

2. I was short and skinny – Nobody likes short and skinny. Maybe some dudes are into that. I know mad dudes who are into petite women. But from the age of birth until my growth spurt, that shit was not in. It was the fat kid at dodge ball out. It happened early and there was no stopping it. I have been cute my whole life, and it bugged the hell out of me because cute ain’t hot shit in real life. And so yeah, for most of my developmental years, I was told by most Black women, that they weren’t into short and skinny. (I got that 6 inch growth spurt tho…)

3. I was outspoken – I never been the type to hold my tongue, and as I progressed into my older years, I found that by arguing a lot with women you will always find yourself out of favor. I have always had strong opinions and I’ve never been able to hold my tongue. I compared most women to the women I knew. And the thing is I grew up around a bunch of phenomenal women, so I thought that most women wasn’t shit because compared to them, they wasn’t shit.

4. I didn’t want to talk to them – I remember when this happened too. It was around the time when girls started developing and personalities came into play. There was the basketball court, and like I told my boy the other day, “I never took to basketball because it was always a lot of yelling and arguing.” Then there were the girls who were watching the game and they seemed to be just as loud as the basketball game. I decided to take my ass over to the soccer field and play that. Less arguing, and no intentional fouling because I was smaller than everyone else. But then I noticed that girls used to sit out on the field during recess, in circles, just enjoying the weather and talking about nothing. You know it wasn’t no Black girls in the sun, Black women and shade are #LIKETHISSON! But anyway, I just never wanted to talk to those girls because they were so loud and seemed like they had an attitude problem. (This was a sample, not saying all Black girls were like this.)

5. They made it clear that they didn’t want to be with me – I was 11 years old the first time someone said to me, “You look like you date white girls.” I was sure that Waiting to Exhale had something to do with that shit. By the time I was 13, my girlfriend was Bolivian. When we broke up, I had a crush on a Black girl, and her hair was pink … I don’t know what I was thinking either. She finally settled down, with a guy whose name was not Jackson. By the time I got out of college it was no surprise when I tried to get in a conversation with a group of Black women about interracial dating and they said, “Whatever n*gga, you don’t date Black girls.” Point of information, my girlfriend at the time was Black. She might have been two shades lighter than off white, but she was Black. But anyway, I guess word got out that I didn’t like Black women, and they all stopped talking to me. They made no attempts to see me romantically and this purgatory lasted for about “long enough for me to move the f*ck on.”

6. Everything else just fell into place – I have never had problems dating people. I’m actually very good at it. Never, not once, did I have a problem, but it seemed like when I was dating outside of my race, it just fell into place. I didn’t have anyone taking out their anger on me. I didn’t have to deal with constant complaining. By the time I realized I had been dating interracially, I had already done it for maybe 8 years. Put it like this, I had no clue how big interracial dating was and these are the races of my first eight girlfriends that I can remember: Bolivian, Guatemalan, Black, Liberian, Guatemalan (yeah, she was pesky, I’ll come back to this), Dominican, Guatemalan, Dominican. It don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that maybe I got a type.

If you dating outside your race, always make
sure that your shoes are always untied.

7. I never felt bad about it – You know how when a guy is walking down the street with a woman outside his race and he sees other women of his race, he does something to distance himself from the woman he’s with. Yeah, I never did that. In my mind, here was my logic; date women who are so beautiful that no matter who sees you with them, they think she’s a very beautiful girl. Sorry if I was naïve for thinking that, I’ve noticed some wincing in the past, but that’s just how I roll. Some guys sit and think if they are doing something wrong by dating outside their race, and I tell all those guys, if you’re having that conversation then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.

8. My momma said the shit was okay – My first crush in first grade was this Columbian girl at my elementary school, my mother sighed, but she knew what was up. It was an all Black school, like I said, she knew what was up. So at a young age my mother had to make some choices, she could either tell me why I should choose a Black girl instead of that girl, or she could say, “Who you love is who you love, just make sure they not wack.” I made up the last part, but still she told me that it didn’t matter who I dated as long as I was happy. I was 6 at the time.

9. My daddy said the shit was okay – My dad asked me one time why I never brought any Black girls over to the house and I said, “I don’t know I been focused on other things.” Yeah, I was in a two year relationship at the time. He asked me that when I had just started bringing girls around the house, period. What was I supposed to say? Oh yeah, let me start bringing some Black girls around the house just for you Dad. Thing is though, he asked me that once. Of course later, I would bring several Black girls around and so he began to learn that I ain’t have a complex or nothing, but then one day on a fishing trip we got to talking about life and shit. I shared with him my frustrations with dating, mainly how you shouldn’t chase after women who aren’t chasing after you, and why I choose to date women who are arguing with me all the time and know how to sit still and stop talking. He responded, “I can see why you date who you date now, and that’s alright man, just make sure they not wack.”

10. I tried, and I failed countless times – I swear to you, I’ve never approached dating like it was the grocery store. I didn’t go to the white section and pick out a bag of women, or head to the Black section and get a few sisters. I took the game as it came to me. And when everybody told me they didn’t think the chick was a good fit for me, I gave it a valiant try. I tried and it just never worked out. Either it was bad timing, or I liked someone else better, or it was clashing personalities, or I liked someone else better, or they got married because I was bullshitting around, or I liked someone else better. One time, I thought she was going to get pregnant and my mother was going to kill me, which put me in a place where I had to start making decisions about who was going to live and die. Needless to say, I tried, didn’t work out, not banging my head against the wall, I’d rather continue to take the game as it comes to me.

Go ahead, you can still this. It's probably
the hottest and most realest thing i've seen this year.
(I just left that incorrect spelling in there to
 prove a point, Mika know what's up tho.)

Didn’t think I’d have ten reasons why I chose to not only date Black women. But pay close attention to my wording. I said, not only. I never said, I don’t date Black women. There’s guys who date only Black women, and then there’s guys who don’t date them at all. Point of clarification: They might f*ck Black women, but they don’t date them. Lot of people get that mixed up. Same actually goes for a lot of Black men who f*ck white women, but they don’t date them. But somewhere in the middle are the guys who think to themselves, “I’m not going to stress myself out over the color of her skin.” I’m going to raise my kids this way too. They probably gonna be mixed and I ain’t got nothing to do with that, but I never agreed with telling your kids what to do or not do, I only do like my daddy told me, “use good judgment.” And this is my judgment, the ass in me says (pause), “back then didn’t want me, now I’m hot they all on me,” the more mature in me says, “I think everybody should do what works best for them.”