What If I Don’t Want to Check the “Black” Box?

Not a real picture, in my day, we used typewriters for college applications.

While applying for college I would come to the part of the application that said, “Select Race/Ethnicity” and my mother would say, “Black/African-American” and I would say, “Nah I’m not going to check that.” My mother would argue with me and tell me I was being stubborn and that I should take any advantage available to get into college. Well, I applied to thirteen schools, I was admitted outright into twelve and waitlisted to one, and later got into the school during the second round or so of admissions. I wrote my college essays on, Living in a Colorless World. My thesis: We can only tell our race because of the ways that others view us. And so, I only wanted a colorless world. While some people wish that race didn’t exist or that we appreciated everyone’s differences, I just wanted to get rid of the entire system altogether. So when I sat down to do my college essays I didn’t want to associate as an African-American in order to somehow get into a college.

And if you’re wondering, I did this on my FAFSA too, my applications for Howard, FAMU, and Morehouse, and all my scholarship applications as well. And perhaps my name gave it away or my college essays about living in a colorless world. However, I sat and thought about those HBCUs, all of which I was admitted to. They admitted me without me indicating my race on a single application. But forget all that, each of the PWIs that I applied to, admitted me without being able to add me to their diversity statistics for the academic year. I sometimes wondered if they ever counted me as a result of affirmative action, but I know I did everything in my power to practice what I preached and I’m just not sure how they could add me to those statistics.

Some years later when asked to do the Census, I elected to not select a race once again. And I think I was in college because I told someone about this and they BERATED me about the Census being used to designate resources and make sure that the programs were appropriately allocated to communities. But I would not be moved, I refuse to select my race/ethnic origin on the Census. First, I think the Census is racist as hell, but also because I just don’t see why it’s all that important. I have my point, respect my point of view.

And now recently as the real Dr. J continues to urge, (I almost wrote “force”), me into business school, she keeps sending me all these things for MLT and Consortium. I found all the materials in a cooler I needed for my cookout this past weekend. And it got me to thinking… Each time my mom would send it, I would say, “Nah ma, I don’t want people thinking that I got in because of the color of my skin.” Because somewhere inside of me, I believe that they let those people in because top business schools know that people will recruit those students from them, giving them diversity numbers and placement too.

What I’m thinking is that I wonder if there’s something wrong with my approach. I don’t even hang around all Black people, I have never even noticed race as much as my counterparts. I was recently at a wedding and we were 75% of the way through the reception before someone turned to me and said, “Have you noticed you’re the only Black guy here right now?” I’m so used to not paying attention to race that in a lot of ways, I don’t even think I need to indicate it. I don’t agree with people who pick and choose when they want to use their race and only use it when it’s advantageous. Neither am I the person who acts like there are social injustices every day, I’m quick to point them out. I’m just a Black man who made a decision not to check the box.