Morning Mail - 3.28.11

Vernon: You know how they say that we can only access 20% of our brain?
Vernon: This lets you access all of it.
Vernon: They have had clinical trials, and it’s FDA approved.
Eddie: Alright, just out of curiosity, and that’s all.
(Source: Limitless)

I had very low expectations of this movie. I actually only went to see it because someone else wanted to see it. Me, I’d have been perfectly fine spending the day watching more college basketball. The movie is the third movie I’ve seen to date that really deals with the mind. Inception, Adjustment Bureau and Limitless are all apart of this mind over reality approach to life. I can’t say that I buy into that. Actually, we don’t use 20% of our brain, we use I think 13%, and then that guy Stephen Hawkins whose like a genius uses about 16%. So when you think about the concept of this movie, you really don’t need to use all your brain, you only need to use about 3-5% more than you currently use now.

That pill that he was taking though reminded me of PCP. Like and that made me laugh throughout this movie so much because I couldn’t’ get over the way PCP really affects people. Nobody knows this but PCP was originally an experiment by the military to create super soldiers. But they messed up and gave it to Black people to test it out and them n*ggas went crazy. It really does give you super strength. You see for a long time in America they try stuff out on Black people and we end up using it for some good.

Lot of people don’t know this but fried chicken and soul food is actually something that white people started.

Out of all those movies I thought that Adjustment Bureau had the most underlying meanings and undertones worth digesting. Here’s my list of people I know who are taking NZT (pill from Limitless).

Barack Obama is taking that ish, as soon as I got to the end of the movie, it was very clear that Obama is taking that pill.

Bradley Stevens is taking that ish too, there’s just no way Butler can be that good.

Also had to tell a friend that she should recommend that her girlfriend’s boyfriend get Viagra. A lot of men let their pride get in the way. If you can’t get it up, then you can’t get it up. Viagra was put on earth for man to use it to get a hard on and start having sex.

OH MY GOD! You ever heard a group of men talk about Viagra. It’s sometimes the most uncomfortable yet questionable yet hilarious exchange in the world.

Older Guy, like in his thirties: Yeah man, I can’t be f*cking these chicks like you do anymore. I swear my wife would love the shit out of you.
Me: [confused look, anticipating him asking me to f*ck his wife.]
Older Guy: So yeah, we’re going on vacation next week, so I had [frat] write me a prescription so I could get a few of these pills. Gotta have my blue pills.
Me: [Did this guy just tell me he can’t get it up? I really think conversations about your dick should be between you and the woman you sleeping with.]
Older Guy: Yeah but when I get down there, I just be f*cking her for like 3 days straight. I’m popping pills back to back. My wife love that shit.
Me: [Wait, I can’t do that though…]
Older Guy: This is what you gotta do to keep these women satisfied when they are my age.
Me: OK, so hypothetically speaking what would happen if I took Viagra?
Older Guy: You’d probably get a hardon for like 6-8 hours.
Me: Word.

Have you ever thought about your sex life in terms of experience? Like one of my friends is dating this guy who is in his mid-fifties, she swears by his sex game. Got me to thinking, let’s say I been having sex for about ten years, this guy is about to retire from the game at 55, start a second career. He’s got 40 years in the game. There will be a hall of fame press conference for that dude when he stops having sex.

This analogy has so many implications in life too. Like think about it, when you’re 19 you reach your peak, but you don’t master it at 19. You have no clue what you’re doing with a vagina at the age of 19, you THINK you do, but really all you have is a lot of energy. And the older guys are like, “yeah, these young girls want a guy they can bounce all around with and sh*t, that’s your young ass.” But older guys put these chicks to BED. It only makes sense, I mean how else do you get good at sex except by having sex?

I’ll be straight up and honest with you. The first time I tried to have sex with a girl until she came. (Because the first few times I didn’t give a shit.) It was like a game of handball. I was just throwing shit at the wall, at different angles and speeds and hoping that something would work. And when she said “ooh” or “right there”, I used my athlete’s gene to remember exactly what I was doing when she said that. It was the most random part of my life.

Now with some experience under my belt, sex is like a game of bowling. I may not knock them all down, but I’m going to hit something. And I’m actually a very good bowler. I’m good for 6 strikes, and 3 spares in ten rolls.

Trust me on that.

Life is good. God is good.

Not sure how I feel about what I said and then bringing God into it.