|I bet he's going to tell his boys that he beat it up.|
So how do you know if you just got f*cked, I can break this down like this;
|He's the one who said he was a gigolo.|
One day my boy was telling me how everybody got a win last night. I wasn’t invited so my response was, “F*ck you, can’t call nobody.” He said it all happened kind of a sudden, some chick called him up and was like, “some of my homegirls are in town tonight and we trying to have fun, what’s good?” After they exchanged ideas about the night she was like, “You got some friends?” And that all led to a bunch of debauchery in his living room with him and these girls, again I wasn’t invited. I busted out laughing so hard it was almost insulting. I told him, “Do you realize that you are a jumpoff? They called you on the same bullshit we call these hoes on. ‘Yo, what’s good I got some boys in town we about to go out, you got some friends?’”
She tells you when y’all are going to meet up.
I humbly ask that you not admit me into “you are a bitch” status for what I’m about to tell you, but I think most of us have tried to make plans with a girl that we REALLY wanted to hang out with and she said, “Cool well I’ll let you know.” We took that ish and ran with it to mean, “Yes, I’d like to hang out with you and I’ll let you know when I’m free tonight.” We sat in our houses twiddling our thumbs until it got late and we send a text and she replies, “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.” Well, a lot of men done been put in this situation before and some of them even stay in that situation. They never get to dictate the pace, they always are at her beck and call. You know what, she’s f*cking you. She’s coming through when she wants to get what she wants whenever she wants it.
I guess I should talk about some more light hearted material…
|If this ain't the jackpot, I don't know what is.|
You ever been headed to the crib or to a hotel room with a chick that’s way out of your league. Like on any normal night that you go out, this girl would never in a million years choose you, but tonight! Tonight! She chose you and you’re not wasting anytime rushing into the end zone. Let me tell you something buddy, you are not Jon Blaze. Happens to men all the time, you get a little tipsy and then that 5 starts looking like a 10, and you just want to get a nut, so you went with it. That’s basically what happened to you on that night, you just happened to be in the right place and the right time. Yes, you got used.
|Jay-Z ain't going to like this, but Terrence is #3.|
You ever been in the middle of something with a chick and then she does something a little outside of your comfort zone, but you just go with it anyway. This can happen in many forms, sometimes a girl might pinch your nipples, but it’s not like sexual it’s more like she’s turning an old school television channel. You’re writhing in pain, but you look up at her and it kind of turns you on. This is almost like when a chick kisses you on the dance floor. You don’t really want everyone up in your business, and post-25, it’s really not the move to be tongue kissing in the club, but you know, shit happens. This chick is the one who breaks the rules and dares you to call shenanigans. She knows you won’t.
This is the sigh of all sighs. Men have this ability to ignore all the signs of what a woman tells them. A woman can tell you on the third date, “If we have sex tonight, then I’m probably going to lose interest shortly thereafter.” Do men listen to this? Hell f*cking no. We go for it anyway, in our minds, “No sir! Not me! I’m double platinum just like my Ferrari!” After you do the deed and try to hit her up a few days later, she won’t return your texts … you go the EXTRA mile and actually call, but get voicemail. A few weeks later you see her out in the club and she’s with another dude. It’s at this point that you realize that this girl, “hit it and quit it.” This is why I always tell dudes to drink red bull before they have sex, you never know, a chick might break you off and cut you off.
Shakira and Adina Howard have taught us that you might bump into a woman who just wants it all the time, over and over again. Let me be honest with you, every now and then a man can go forever and ever, but I’ll be damned, some women have the sex drive of a rabbit. They have you pulling on your shorts like you have just played five back-to-back pickup basketball games, but your manhood won’t let you just own up to it and tap out. She’s the type who tackles you upon entering the house. She comes over your house to watch a “movie.” If you’re a real G, you just wacked off in the bathroom before she got there so you don’t have one in the chamber, but she showed up in a trenchcoat ready to WORK. She’s the type that you wake up in the middle of the night and she’s laying on top of you asshole naked. She’s the type to make you crash your car on I-95 because she goes after your junk for a rolling O while you’re driving. (It gets real funny when she rips open your jeans because they are button fly.) I joke about this all the time, but if there’s anything more powerful that hard d*ck, it’s wet p*ssy, ain’t no telling what can happen.
|This has nothing to do with this, but it's a damn good picture.|
“One problem … we don’t know their names, we don’t have their number or any idea where they are actually staying.”
I’m pretty sure those chicks f*cked them.