Morning Mail - 3.14.11

Aldous Snow: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.
Aaron Green: So you only slept with Jackie?
Aldous Snow: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.
(Source: Get Him to the Greek)

This is so freaking funny. I thought the movie was quite hilarious, I haven’t finished it, it was on way too late last night, so I just decided to go to sleep. You know how you start trying to get in the uber comfortable position on the couch? At a certain age you start to realize, this is the position I get in when I’m really tired and I typically end up waking up on this here couch at three in the morning.

Do you think it’s weird how some couple move to stay together? Relocation is a bitch. Like for example, imagine if you’re Natalie Portman’s baby daddy. His whole life he’s dreamed of making it to Hollywood. He just got there, and now Natalie wants to move away. I feel his pain. I support him in his efforts to stay.

I’m starting to get more and more annoyed by women who act like they’re into sports just to get men to like them. It’s a freaking epidemic. Women will tell you they love the Cowboys and Troy Aikman is their favorite player. Biggie was living when Troy Aikman played his last game. Shut the hell up. I appreciate those women who are lovers of beer, fantasy football and do not just blindly cheer for a team because they like ONE player on the team.

Don’t have conversations with your friends who don’t know anything about sports.

I keep trying to tell most men not to mess with crazy hoes, but they don’t listen. And then they end up in a weird situation. Do you know how expensive it is to replace four tires on an Escalade? You can find out by f*cking with crazy b*tches.

If you date a girl who never attended college, you never have to worry about attending her college reunion functions. My thoughts on college reunions and shit. People spend all this time at these events wondering why someone, “hasn’t grown up yet.” But what we fail to realize is that when we were in college, we were grown. We just were in this weird place called higher learning. At the age of 18, you pretty much are the person you will be for the rest of your life. Like right now, the thing that interests me the most is those women who since I’ve known them around the age of 18… are still sleeping with men while requiring that they put little to no effort in. They are easy, hoes, jumpoffs, ratchets, or whatever you want to call them, and they never change.

My alma mater has this reunion for Black folk every few years. It’s mad funny because you’ll always hear stories of a chick who is married now, but she end up f*cking a dude that she used to be with back in college, or that she always wanted to be with back in college. In her defense, there is just way too much alcohol involved with these reunions. I’m ecstatic for it this year!

I have no words for some people in this world. You ever find yourself in a situation where something so enormously childish and immature was going down, and you felt like if you don’t at least get semi-involved then it’ll look like you are wrong in the situation? That’s what no words is, the point at which you realize that there is no way to handle the situation and act like an adult.

Just a couple weeks away from the moment I’ve been waiting for. And I’m now noticing that this weekend in April will be a great weekend. Final Four and Lil’ Wayne. I’m going to set some money aside now.

I’m convinced this girl is crazy. I will let you know more when I know it.

I would encourage everyone to check out the new show Shameless on Showtime. It’s a great show and anyone missing out is at a loss.

Life is good. God is good.