Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm Still Fly

“The ultimate test of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and moments of convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge and moments of controversy.”

– Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life couldn’t be better! It’s been a long time since I said that. And you know all the people around me who keep trying to bring me down, well, just know that you are not fazing me one bit. I see straight through you and though you pray for the death of me like, Amen… “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD. – Isaiah 54:17” My grandmother actually sent me this in a letter one time when I hadn’t spoken to family for like a month. She just knew that something was going on. But you know, we all need constant and continuous reminders that we’re not invincible. Life has not been good, so let’s recap.

I met a girl. The problem was the circumstances suggest that it’s probably not best for us to be talking to one another. Just not…et al. But like most things in life we do what we want and end up talking, couple months later, faced with a serious junction. Shorty decides to cut things off. Joof. I met a girl. Things were going fine, and then drama came about. Rather than dead the whole situation, I decided to keep going anyway. Totally disregarding common sense or logic. I dove in and was like, there’s a tight bond, let’s see where it goes. The girl got out on the other side of the pool. Double damn.

I felt like I just wasn’t really good at the steady girl thing. Like maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe, I’m like Crossroads. I’m like a rehabilitation center for chicks that need reform and to be shown how it is to be treated. I can’t call it. Somehow, Jack, Miller, Jameson and Jean Grey were always there for me. The hardest part of the process is that you have to figure out what you deserve and what you do not deserve. And when you realize that you are ready to admit that it wasn’t meant to be anyway. It’s not the hurt that bothers you, it’s the fact that you failed. But at the end of the day, I tried some ish, it didn’t work. Am I scarred for it? Yep, but that wound is healed and I have the scar to remind me, but it won’t define me. It wasn’t easy to move on and start picking up the pieces. I felt like I had been walking down the street on a windy day and lost all my papers to the wind. And now I’m trying to pick them all up. When it donned on me, why am I trying to pick all this ish up? I’m stuck here trying to makes sense of this mess. Now if I’m the only one who was right, why am I the only whose left?

And something weird happened, I laughed for like two days straight. I couldn’t do anything but just laugh. I laughed until I cried. I literally couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard. I stopped caring a long time ago, things could be worse, it’s time to pick up and move on. Everyone tells me, I’m a nice guy. I have no problem meeting women, I just keep “crashing the car.” How many more days am I going to sit on this couch and watch the same TV shows everyday refusing to go anywhere?

Straight copped a ticket to ATL and bounced. Came back home and got back to holding down my cities; DC and NYC. Everybody loves those DC boys, but the NYC swag keeps it’s so right, and you haters are so left. Because real talk, Dr. J needs to be near flash photography at all times. I’m still fashion forward, so all you haters fall back.“

Holla if you got me, and eff you had me.” - Drake

1 comment:

FiGZ said...

Drake is a member of the "Decepticons"...LOL