Wednesday, July 15, 2009

J's Team Supreme Lineup: The Lawyer

As a person with several friends in the medical, law and business profession, I’m starting to notice a trend. It’s actually very troubling to me. But have you noticed, every attractive Black woman with a law degree is married, engaged or dating someone? And this doesn’t extend across fields. As I know many women who walked across the stage and earned their M.D. or M.B.A. this past May who are single as your last cigarette.

I hate to admit this, but I know several men who will not date women without advanced degrees. They just don’t feel like they have anything in common with them. Or they don’t feel like they are worthy of an educated Black man without the advanced degree. Me, I’m on the fence. My friends say I date hood chicks. What type of craziness is that?! OK… maybe I do date hood chicks. But I mean, I don’t mind my sisters with their professional degrees.

To me, there is nothing better than a woman in her business suit. Pencil skirt, white blouse, blazer, and some 3.5 inch heels ( And I know that I need someone to take care of me when I’m old and can’t do it for myself, but the lab coat has nothing on the business suit. Moreover, it’s nothing better than an opinionated woman in a suit. You know when they get upset and the skin between their eyes squints up and they’re determined to make their point. Actually put some Prada glasses on a chick and got to take the Gucci bucket hat and put it over my face and say, “wooooooooooooooooo!”

Now, what is it about these women that is enabling them to be able to find nuptials at such a faster rate than any other genre of female. It may very well come down to the fact that every man sees what I do. So for the record where does that leave me in terms of women I find attractive. Let’s revisit the starting five:

#5 – Creativity breathes excitement, so an artist would be nice. She can’t be strung out on drugs tho.
#4 – You have to have a someone that’s not that smart, but looks real nice, but doesn’t read really good. So we are going to have to have a model here.
#3 – Got to have a mixed chick. Mixed with something like… Black and Filipino. Just so when you step in the club, people are like, “Who brought Cassie?” And you are like what has two thumbs and is with the baddest chick in the club, “THIS GUY!”
#2 – Shoulders, back and legs are sexy, so we need an athlete of some sort. I’m an asshole, so if I have to run from her, she shouldn’t be able to catch me. So we’re going to go with a basketball player here. (Shelden Williams if you mess up, I’m taking yo’ chick.)
#1 – Lawyer chick. She’s going to need flexible hours because I’m sure that morning coffee is going to turn into, “Sex in the kitchen, over by the stove, put you on the counter by the butter rolls…”

So yeah, that’s what this whole thing was about.

Every girl… not every girl… almost every girl.


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