Friday, February 25, 2011

The Benefits of Dating Someone Who Didn’t Go To College

Shaun: I have to go to college.
Cindy: Why?
Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.

(Source: Orange County)

I was giving some dating advice to a close friend of mine because he was dating a girl in the area who didn’t go to college. I told him that at the end of the day it’s not the end of the world, there’s several good things about dating someone who didn’t go to college. But to take a step back and explain something that happens in Washington, DC more than in other areas because of this great thing called the Federal Government. In DC, you can be perfectly fine graduating from high school and getting a good government job. For a lot of women this is the easiest way out of their parents’ house and they take it. The government pays well, has excellent benefits and rewards time in service. Meeting a girl in DC who didn’t go to college ain’t rare.

Anyway, here’s a few benefits to dating someone who didn’t go to college:

Every Couple Does Not Have to be a Power Couple – I know some power couples and it’s not all it’s made up to be. It’s hard work. When you’re dealing with two people who are trying to chase the utmost success you may run into some problems. You have to have someone who leads, not two people fighting to lead.

Not Going to College Doesn’t Mean You’re Stupid - Neither does it mean you can’t be a great parent or spouse. Trust me when I tell you that college has nothing to do with being a mother or father. Although there are statistics that show college educated folks are more likely to be married, doesn’t say anything about how smart a person is.

No Uncomfortable Alumni Events - Every school has those alumni events when everybody meets up, now if your girl went to college you have to go to them. Imagine that feeling of being in a room and being “that guy”. That guy who wifed that girl down, and you know it’s like three dudes who used to smash … in that college way of smashing. Think about that for a second.

Independence – For some reason being independent comes with experience. I think that a person who is earning income starts to learn how to become independent. One thing I find with women who went to college is still that they are in the cycle of going to someone else to have things they want provided for them. You have to go to your parents for money, go to school for education, and so on and so forth. When you’ve been on your own from the age of 17, you’ve got a leg up on everyone who just started at 21.

You told yourself Stats weren’t important – If it’s one thing men hate, it’s women who ask them for their stats. What type of car do you drive? What do you do for a living? Where did you go to school? What city are you from? So when you think about it, you’re relationships should really rock out on the connection that you build without talking about the college you attended, or something you read in your senior thesis project.

I understand that not everyone will vibe with this, but I’ve dated someone who didn’t go to college and I didn’t think it was that bad. In my opinion, the reasons why we are no longer talking have nothing to do with her not going to college. I think that people can come across so uppity when the first thing out their mouth is, “But she didn’t go to college.” I always kind of side eye those people because they probably dated someone who didn’t finish college anyway. Although I’m biased being from the District of Columbia, meaning, I’ve got a bunch of family members who just went straight into the government, I still think it’s worth noting that there are some good things that come from dating a high school graduate.


redlady821 said...

I think that dating an established person who never went to college is better than dating someone who has "some college". Those people are the worst because they walk around with an inferiority complex and they say things like, "I went to college, I'm college educated" (only because they never finished).

They constantly apply for jobs that require a college degree and then get frustrated when they don't get hired or have a low ball salary.

Give me a self aware person every time. Thank you.

max said...

As someone who did not go to college I approve this message.

Theone said...

LOL... I love Max... I will co-sign & approve this message also

SaneN85 said...

Ditto what Max said.

Bianca said...

dr j, i need relationship advice! help me out!

Anonymous said...

"Not Going to College Doesn’t Mean You’re Stupid."

this is the truth. my best friend is high school is one of the smartest people i know (aside from myself). he finished top 10 in our class yet he didn't even take the SAT. he said college wasn't for him and he felt more comfortable working. college isn't for everyone.

Anonymous said...

I have dated women who did and did not graduate from college. I find the former to be lacking in intellectual curiosity, absent research skills, weak minded in critical thought and unable to complete long-term projects. Those who don't go to college seem more likely to be divorced with children. That makes them even less desirable. If I need someone to hang out with, I will date a woman who didn't go to college but if I'm looking for a serious relationship, she has to have demonstrated intellectual credentials. Please, no University of Phoenix graduates.

Anonymous said...

The prior post intended to say "latter" rather than "former."