Morning Mail - 2.7.11

Vivian: When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would- I would pretend I was a princess... trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly this knight... on a white horse with these colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword. And I would wave. And he would climb up the tower and rescue me. But never in all the time... that I had this dream did the knight say to me, "Come on, baby, I'll put you up in a great condo."
(Source: Pretty Woman)

I think this might be Julia Robert’s prettiest movie. She’s just cute as a button.

Speaking of cute as a button … Kimmy! The whole time I’m watching the Super Bowl I’m just thinking, I wonder when Kim Kardashian will have a commercial. As time went on, I just got sad and irritable. The only saving grace is that my homegirl actually reminds me of her, she was sitting next to me most of the game. I was trying to convince her to have my kid, but her sister keeps blocking. Anyway, then the commercial came on. In case you missed it, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQWG__N9so0). Man, when she throws that towel over the bar … woooooooo! I couldn’t breathe.

Oh she agreed to have my kid, but I have to take care of it and sign a prenuptial agreement because apparently she’s going to make more money than I do. But she doesn’t know that for sure, so I was like, I love when a woman with a professional degree mentions a prenupt. They just love to think they’ll make more money than a man. Watch! Watch!

So I guess the situation in Egypt was pretty serious. I didn’t know that because I was so busy at work and by the time I actually sat down to read about it, it was well out of control. I’m not mad about that though. I don’t know why. I guess in some ways I’m more concerned with us not getting involved. I do find it interesting the way the US is NOT getting involved. Actions speak louder than words. I mean, most people don’t want us to get involved, but at the same time, what does “that’s messed up” mean?

How about that Super Bowl last night? I felt real good yesterday. The guys were in the living room watching TV and commercials, and the women were in the kitchen making nice snacks for us all. Although one guy ate most of the food, smh, it was great. After they came and they joined us and we talked about a few things. Mainly, women & weight, Ben vs. Kobe, wack commercials, and collarbones.

I think that men are always surprised at the ability of women to deal with hurt feelings. I think they do it better than men because men go out of their way to avoid getting their feelings hurt, they never experience it to learn how to handle it. Women on the other hand are pros.

I don’t take domestic violence, sex assault and rape lightly. I just don’t. I really feel like if you made more college males registered as sex offenders the word would get out on the street, that ain’t cool.

“Dear Kim, Your rack is unreal.” That flower commercial was pretty funny.

Have you ever asked someone what they like about you the most? Is it bad if a man is like, “I love your breasts”? I feel like I’ve been asked that times when a woman just wanted me to say something other than one of her body parts. I mean, why are you setting yourself up for failure in the situation? I think there’s a false sense of security that women seek in men. They know that their man loves their breasts, but they want him to say something like, “I love that I can talk to you.” ( The biggest copout ever used by a man. Of course he can talk to you! How else would you communicate?!)

Waka Flocka said that if he went to college he would major in Geometry? Someone told me they were surprised at the success of Waka and I told them, “Not me!” I love Waka! I love Waka for a different reason than most people though. I love him because it’s clear that he’s not that smart, has an intentional speech impediment, and he’s just straight ignorant and obsessed with being in the hood. The funny part about it is that he reminds us what the majority of Black America really looks like. As successful Black people often do, we forget that most of Black people in America are illiterate or not at the appropriate reading level, we often fail to realize that we have a large percentage of our population in jail or unemployed, and Waka reminds us that this exists! Sooner or later, we’ve got to stop acting like it doesn’t exist and do something about it.

Waka!

In the last week I was compared to Juicy J. That wasn’t that bad, that’s happened before. Then this girl said, “OMG Wiz makes you look fat! I mean I guess if you were his height then you’d be the same size.” I gave her this look like, “Bitch I own you!”

Unexpected guests continue to bombard my apartment, it’s getting to the point where I really don’t like it. And it won’t stop for most of this month. I’m evaluating ways to reduce it right now.
In other news, life is good. God is good.