Your Twat Has Lost All Its Value

I spend time watching my twitter timeline on Tweetdeck sometimes for hours at a time. I actually know a lot of the people I follow so I’m watching them as they comment. I’m pretty sure you really only see women b*tching about their relationship situation. Most men aren’t bitching about theirs, but rather the entire subject of relationships as a whole. Twitter at night is good for seeing a random tweet from a chick about the dude she’s talking to. Things that she would like to say to him but can’t muster it up and so she says it to Twitter. And I can never forget all of the tweets that talk about how some dude approached a woman and how he was disrespectful or not up to par. Well, the message that I always preach is that you can tell a lot about yourself by how people treat you. Chances are if a random guy comes up to you off the street and says something wild like, “I bet you like your ass smacked really really REALLY hard,” you were giving off this image that you weren’t worth much more than that. Now when a chick is ranting about her requirements and I know her offline, a lot of times I want to say, “You really ain’t the type of chick to be making those types of demands.” It’s like I told my friends the other day, “there’s a lot of people who say you shouldn’t treat women like jumpoffs, but they fail to realize that not every one of these girls has what it takes to be a wifey.” And those women need to just take what they can get most of the time. Quite frankly, most women never realize it, but there comes a point when your twat has lost all value whatsoever.

I was talking to my friend and I said, “It’s tragic because that girl might have a really great personality and in public they will tell her that it really don’t matter how many dudes a chick been with. Behind closed doors when it’s just the fellas they are always like, ‘Yeah but she smashed mad dudes.’” And that’s real, that’s my secret’s out moment of the day, behind closed doors regardless of what we tell you, no man wants something that everyone else has. Or could have had either. The same way that women look at a man’s past relationships and make judgments on how they think that man views them, men do that too about women. If we find out that you let some football player blow your back out for a couple years in school on some “just sex” shit, we low key take some value from your pussy. We now know that you are capable of having just sex relationships and that means that we can not be 100% sure that you actually care about all the people you had sex with. Plus, it was a football player.

Here are some other ways to bankrupt your twat:



We can all prolly hit.


1) She ripping and running – I told my cousin one time long ago, figure out the woman you want to be and back yourself into that woman. And if you know what your dream guy is, just always be the type of woman that he would want. I told her that I see these chicks out here in their late twenties and they good girls, they just ain’t going to find a man to marry them because they been in the streets so long. That’s just unbecoming of a lady. And while some women don’t want to subscribe to that thought system, that don’t stop the fact that they will probably end up being single forever. That’s just how men think. We sit and do the math. You been trying to lock Andre down for years and you know that if you can get him to finally settle down you’ll be married, but you not with him, so you’re free to do what you want. So you bounce around each year living life a single woman. Now at age 32, as a man, we don’t think you’re a hoe, actually no we think you’re a hoe, we just don’t think you’re a slut or a jumpoff. Like if you smash off 20-30 dudes in your lifetime, you a hoe, but it’s politics around that vag, but that 23 year old twat still looks better. We look at the value of your twat and it’s done lost all its value because truth be told ain’t nothing really special about that twat except I’m the last person who’ll have it. We always joke that jumpoffs in college is like a game of hot potato, dudes just kept passing her around and you hope you not the one who got her pregnant and ended up stuck with her.

I want a video too, like four.

2) She had her fun – It ain’t nothing wrong with a woman going out there and having some fun. But it’s something wrong when people know about it, especially your man knows about it. I was talking to this girl one time and she told me that she had a threesome and she was into anal. I had done none of these things with her. And while most men will tell you, they were like, “aw shit this jawn is a freak.” Really what that means is, “Yes, I want to f*ck her, but wifing her, hell to the no. This twat is rancid.” With that said, I always want to advise people against doing too much adventurous stuff in the bedroom before marriage or with too many people, it takes away from the value of your twat. In an argument about threesomes I said that people have to be very careful because most women will have them but not with a dude they care about. That’s going to bug your husband to know that some dude you didn’t care about got to have all the fun. And if you do it with your husband it might bother you that you saw your husband f*cking some other chick. Sidenote, no man is really stoked about watching a chick do things to you and not to him, so don’t try that. Why you get to be pleased by the other person and not him?! This quickly turns into what I would imagine a room with Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston and the last crack rock on Earth would look like.

3) Wasted time with an ain’t shit negro – When a man is dating a woman he always wants to know about her past. I was really interested in seeing a friend of a friend and once she told me that her ex-boyfriend was a jerk and over possessive, my first question was, “How long they was together?” She said, “Oh they’ve been dealing with each other for two years, but officially nine months.” I didn’t want no parts in that twat no more. Something wrong with you to stay with a negro who treating you like shit for so long. It speak to the person you are on the inside and now I’m like, maybe I’ll smash, but I can’t wife that down. Another time I was trying to talk to this chick who had a kid, then someone pointed out her baby daddy to me. I looked at this guy and was like, wait a second, she let that dude get her pregnant?! In my mind I was like, “Men cut off limbs not to have to go to Vietnam and that’s a finger they already had.” Let me leave this alone though… Anyway, I asked her about it too because I ain’t want to stop talking to her and never tell her why and she said, “She was in a different place at that time in her life.” I just told her to go back because this place would never respect her twat’s capability to make sound decisions.

"You sleep?" - Funniest quote ever in bed.

4) It’s old – Look man with IVF nowadays women can have kids up until they’re like 40. But, let me put this as clear as possible. Not every n*gga has that type of money though. And still even with IVF it don’t do nothing to change the fact that the baby is more susceptible to down syndrome the older the mom is. That’s just a fact, you can look it up on Wikipedia. So if a man is intending on having kids with that twat he going to want it to be a certain child bearing age. So the older your twat gets the more and more he’s saying to himself, “I don’t know, by time we have kids she’ll be damn there 36.” Other thing about old twat is that women will say, “My sex drive went up when I hit my 30s.” Word? OK, but that’s a when you wanted it type of feeling. Earlier in their life, women was so amped to get out of their mama house and make some money they jumped at the opportunity to get a job. I told my homegirl at 22 that in five years she would be telling me how she was ready to stop working and be housewife. It only took her four. What happened to that ambitious girl? She was like “nah f*ck that, I’m tired and I want to take nap in the afternoons and watch TV.” So yeah you’re sex drive goes up when you’re 30, but you also get more fatigued in old age and when you’re tired, you’re not in the mood. Last but not least, you don’t give a shit about shit. Self-confidence is a two-edged sword, I tell men all the time, sometimes you might have to conclude you want a chick with low self-esteem. Self-confidence will make a woman stop going to church and the gym and say, “I love my curves.” Self-confidence will make a woman say to her man, “You want the p*ssy or not, the scarf is staying on.” Self-confidence will get you boyshorts everyday when you told her that you prefer thongs. She’ll wear those boyshorts and wonder why you don’t want no ass and would rather spend your time in the other room on your laptop watching “videos.” And at that point, you know what she does? She sets out on a mission to win the war and men can’t win this war. Damn that was a rant. All that to say self-confidence is beautiful, but it can also lead to stubbornness and that’s ugly as all hell.

Diagram 1 - Your Twat FICA score over the next ten years.

Keep in mind that this value of the twat thing is deep, #punintended. It goes back to supply and demand too. If you think about it, at a constant rate the value of twat is going down with time. There’s new twat everyday. If you go back to college, you’ll remember how much fun was as a freshman female, sophomore year was less fun, but okay if you were a really cool girl, but by junior year you were so fed up with the men on your campus and their antics. But they really weren’t antics, they basically didn’t want to put up with your bullshit because they dropped a boatload of fresh meat off each year on college campuses. I think 60% of all women realize their sophomore year that they got a lot of play because they was new, and the other 40% realizes it their junior year. And I know what someone will say to refute this, but if you had a man this don’t apply to you. Your pussy is brand new when you break up with your man from home or the guy you was with since freshman year. What I will say is that chick’s twat had a renaissance its senior year when men were like, “I am trying to just hit that one time before I never see her again.” Shit, I’m about to go to a Sade concert for that very reason and I don’t even like Sade all that much.

Now as the supply of twat, especially good twat goes up each year. You have to be concerned about how much effort you make a man put into your twat, it’s a very delicate balance. If you don’t have any vag politics then your twat loses its value immediately. That time you went home with that dude you didn’t know; if your twat has a credit rating it would be at 320. If you have too high vag politics then your twat loses its value because no one is willing to pay your price for it, so if you don’t adjust the price it will just sit there unattended and the new twat will gain more value. It’s a balancing act.

Sigh, back to those girls on Twitter. I want to say something sometimes, but I just can’t be that guy. I don’t want to have that argument and have to be the one to tell her that she needs to lower her expectations to something more in line with her vag’s potential. I don’t want to be that guy, but at times, I sense that I will have to do this one day. I have never had the privilege of sitting and explaining to some young lady why I didn’t think she was wifey material. Actually, I did once, but it was cool, and she respected me for it. But it had to do with her attitude problem, not her twat. Anyway, these are my thoughts and theories, feel free to disagree. Good night.