Morning Mail - 07.31.09

General Hummel: The men of marine force recon are selected to carry out illegal operations throughout the world. When they don't come home, their families are told fairy tales about what happened to them... and denied compensation. Well, I have choked on these lies my entire career. Well here and now the lies stop!
(Source: The Rock)

Men love this movie.

Have you ever really wondered like why are we here?

Caramel might be making a comeback.

My teammate has bronchitis. I have been telling her for over a week to go to the doctor. She also insists on always coming into my cube and talking to me. I got half a mind to think that she did that on purpose. Needless to say, it will take brain surgery to repair our working situation.

NYC better get ready, I’m coming to shut it DOOOOOWWN.

Two scoops, I’m chilling.

I’m working on not being so… MIA when in NYC, but it’s just so many people who want to be seen and not enough time. Best thing to do is to follow me on twitter, that’s where I usually post hints about my location to.

Last night, was ultra wack. I was really trying to do something chill, not Park not Shadow and ended up just striking out like Big Papi in 2009.

Yesterday on the train I am looking at my BlackBerry as I normally do, and a group of people walk on the train. One had blonde hair, stretch jeans and a bebe shirt on. They all had on leather flip flops…. They were loud and a hot mess. And they keep saying, “Thank you girl!” and throwing around hi-fives to each other. None of these people were girls.

Nope, Caramel is not making a comeback, the chick I was referring to is actually married. Back to the regularly scheduled programming.

I do a really good job at my job, but it takes so much effort to remain calm around people who just aren’t that smart. In my opinion, my job really revolves around the ability to control my stress.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why people live in Virginia. Like deep in Virginia, when Richmond does not sound like it’s far to you, something is wrong with you.

I am definitely going to need a nap.

Yawn, stretch, yawn.

Lig and Gig.

Stay classy.

Morning Mail - 07.30.09

Kemo: Sarah Marshall.
Peter Bretter: Yes. How did you know I was dating Sarah Marshall?
Kemo: Dwayne told me. Chuck told me. Even Rachel told me. I heard about it from everybody. You gotta stop talking about it. It's like "the Sopranos." It's *over*. Find a new show.
(Source: Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

I was slacking this morning, wasn’t on my thug thizzle.

I have some thoughts.

I was really proud of the young lady who was drinking beer last night. I noticed.

Quotes from last night:
“An afro like this… or an afro like this?”
“Binky, got to go.”

I’m so over some things right now.

Decisions are very different than choices.

Do I go out tonight, or do I sit inside and sip hot tea?

Everytime I think of this girl I hear clapping and think of Soulja Boy.. tellem.

And I repeat do not blog when drunk, it looks a hot mess in the morning.

Lig and Gig.

NYC… here we go again.

I'm convinced this commute will kill me one day. Why does metro refuse to get it together? They're gonna be responsible for a traffic nightmare.

Morning Mail - 07.29.09

King of Ward 3: I will not forget your voice!
Doctor's Wife: And I won't forget your face!
(Source: Blindness)

I have an ear infection right now, so I haven’t been blogging because it’s very frustrating. In my head I sound like darth vader, and when people talk to me, I can’t hear out of one side which means all the sound gets pushed through the other side and it’s like mass confusion.

The last two days I have been out until at least 11PM. I have not visited any club or lounge.

After a long conversation with my mother, I will admit that although this is selfish. I hate when people become emotionally attached to me. I really hate the fact that my actions can cause someone’s day to be ruined. Especially because personally I don’t feel that I ever intentionally want to ruin someone’s day. And like when people do similar things to me, I don’t get angry, because I think whether or not it was intentional. I can’t call it.

Do you guys remember my facebook note on co-workers? So I’m talking to my co-worker yesterday and she is like, yeah I only go to Park, Lotus, Josephine’s, Lima, Shadow, etc. And I give her this look like, 1) She’s not Black, which threw me off because of the nights she would go, 2) You’re too close to Dylan!, 3) This is how it begins. So my teammate who I also go out with from time to time is like, word, then we should all go out and see who really knows how to party. I stomped on his toe.

I’m not sure I’m ready for football.

I have noticed that I have new followers, welcome, and I’m going to keep making sure to keep pushing out good material. I know sometimes I get a little ultra-Kanye, but I try and keep it as 100, excuse me, 1-hunnit as possible.

Crashing the car is taking the world by storm.

Funny quotes from the week:
“Can I be your main side piece or just your emergency 3AM booty call?”
“Shorty got an onion on the low..” “That ish is not on the low.”
“That b*tch is craaaaaaazy.”
“Something about this photo album doesn’t seem right.”
“When it comes to crashing cars, I have the highest car insurance on the planet.”

Me and Castro are about to start Charm School and Charm Seminars on short weekends. If you know any ho3s or women in need of help with making better decisions, please let me know.

Morning Mail - 7.27.09

There will be no morning mail, because I really need to take some time today and sleep in the bathroom. At least a 30 minute nap will fix me up.

Lima on Sundays is not the best thing I choose to do with my life.

Dr. J

PS - I am taking walk-ins this week.

I'm Still Fly

“The ultimate test of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and moments of convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge and moments of controversy.”

– Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life couldn’t be better! It’s been a long time since I said that. And you know all the people around me who keep trying to bring me down, well, just know that you are not fazing me one bit. I see straight through you and though you pray for the death of me like, Amen… “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD. – Isaiah 54:17” My grandmother actually sent me this in a letter one time when I hadn’t spoken to family for like a month. She just knew that something was going on. But you know, we all need constant and continuous reminders that we’re not invincible. Life has not been good, so let’s recap.

I met a girl. The problem was the circumstances suggest that it’s probably not best for us to be talking to one another. Just not…et al. But like most things in life we do what we want and end up talking, couple months later, faced with a serious junction. Shorty decides to cut things off. Joof. I met a girl. Things were going fine, and then drama came about. Rather than dead the whole situation, I decided to keep going anyway. Totally disregarding common sense or logic. I dove in and was like, there’s a tight bond, let’s see where it goes. The girl got out on the other side of the pool. Double damn.

I felt like I just wasn’t really good at the steady girl thing. Like maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe, I’m like Crossroads. I’m like a rehabilitation center for chicks that need reform and to be shown how it is to be treated. I can’t call it. Somehow, Jack, Miller, Jameson and Jean Grey were always there for me. The hardest part of the process is that you have to figure out what you deserve and what you do not deserve. And when you realize that you are ready to admit that it wasn’t meant to be anyway. It’s not the hurt that bothers you, it’s the fact that you failed. But at the end of the day, I tried some ish, it didn’t work. Am I scarred for it? Yep, but that wound is healed and I have the scar to remind me, but it won’t define me. It wasn’t easy to move on and start picking up the pieces. I felt like I had been walking down the street on a windy day and lost all my papers to the wind. And now I’m trying to pick them all up. When it donned on me, why am I trying to pick all this ish up? I’m stuck here trying to makes sense of this mess. Now if I’m the only one who was right, why am I the only whose left?

And something weird happened, I laughed for like two days straight. I couldn’t do anything but just laugh. I laughed until I cried. I literally couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard. I stopped caring a long time ago, things could be worse, it’s time to pick up and move on. Everyone tells me, I’m a nice guy. I have no problem meeting women, I just keep “crashing the car.” How many more days am I going to sit on this couch and watch the same TV shows everyday refusing to go anywhere?

Straight copped a ticket to ATL and bounced. Came back home and got back to holding down my cities; DC and NYC. Everybody loves those DC boys, but the NYC swag keeps it’s so right, and you haters are so left. Because real talk, Dr. J needs to be near flash photography at all times. I’m still fashion forward, so all you haters fall back.“

Holla if you got me, and eff you had me.” - Drake

Morning Mail - 07.22.09

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me...
[singsonging]
Gracie Hart: You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to hug me... You want to smooch me... You want to...
(Source: Miss Congeniality)

Can I tell you that I think that Jay-Z is the greatest rapper of all time? However, I also think Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all time? And I never liked his attitude on the court and off the court as it pertained to his team. Just like I don’t like how Jay-Z thinks it’s cool to be 42 and dictating ish to people like he’s the bomb.

Nowadays, I feel like I’m an recovering addict. I say to people all the time, “Listen, I’m an asshole, I’m working on my ish.

Tell me why, my site is getting blocked hardbody for cussing. Eff them.

Should I move to NYC? Would DC miss me?

Real talk, I have to show love to True because it’s hard to describe our relationship. When there’s someone who I know like that, I just have to give it up.

Am I the only one who just doesn’t want to cheer for Sotomayor?

I also don’t agree with taxing the rich to pay for healthcare. It’s not that I don’t agree that charitable giving, or giving for the greater good is a great thing. I just don’t think it exemplifies good policy. Like seriously, the rich should pay for healthcare. Right, and the poor who don’t work, have nothing better to do, so they should clean the streets… Doesn’t make sense to me.

D.O.D. Death of Drake – Best I Ever Had music video

I can’t do this all day long….. Beyonce – Sweet Dreams

Taking my ass home after work.

Sometimes, I wonder if people realize that we are a lot older than childish playground gossip he said she said ish.

SBM is blowing up. Don’t forget to show love to buppie and TBJ though!

I wanna do a Prospect Park recap joint right now. Will do briefly.

Post Swap with DC Diva: 20 Something, Single, Fabulous & Unhappy

I’m so happy to be able to have this young lady bless the mic today. As many of you know I’m one of her biggest fans. Many of you close friends of the Doc have received several gchat messages, “Yo, check this out, start at the beginning and read until today. Bet 5 you be hooked.” However, first thing that drew me to her blog was her ability to remain real and true to herself and allow us a bird’s eye view of what’s going on. At this point now though, her commentary on the foolishness of these fellas out here in my city, combined with her love for vodka, keeps me satisfied. We are swapping our blogs today to get a change of pace. Visit her blog, http://dcdatingadventures.blogspot.com/, when you get a chance and make sure you follow her on twitter, @DCDatingDiva.

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. - Einstein

In my excitement to write a piece on something other than my dating life, I got overly excited about the possibility of writing about sex during my blog swap with Dr. J. I had it all planned out. But then I had an epiphany (it has nothing to do with the wack sex I got after a 6 week drought) and decided to write on why it is, that with every corner I turn, it seems as if single, seemingly successful 20 & 30 something’s are so un-happy. (don’t worry, I’ll write about hot steamy head board bangin sex next time) My vision came to me as I sat at Busboys & Poets this past Saturday eavesdropping listening to two women chat about their jobs. One was a new lawyer (yeah she was that loud) and the other I’m not too sure about. But their conversation went a little like this.

New Lawyer: “I’m sooo unhappy at work. I thought after becoming a lawyer and being able to pay my bills, and live in comfort, that I would be happy. But it’s not my passion. My productivity is so low. I’m not happy. I have to work all of these billable hours. I have no social life. My real passion is writing. I’m thinking about just quitting, following my dream of becoming a freelance writer and maybe waitress to make ends meet. But I feel like as a lawyer, I’m helping my family. I can pay my bills and not have to struggle. But I hate it. I'm not happy”. (yeah, she said it like 10 times as if her friend didn't get it the first three)

Her Chick Friend: “Yeah. I know what you mean”.

What her chick friend really should have said: "Stop bitching and do something about it"... Ok, maybe not that harshly (actually some people like it rough), but sometimes you gotta kick your friends in the ass, to get them jump started. You can't keep sympathizing with them and enabling them, by saying "I know what you mean". Ask them what the F*ck, they plan on doing about it...ask yourself what the F*ck you plan on doing about your situation...

It's not just job satisfaction that I've been hearing gripes about. It's relationship (or lack thereof) satisfaction, friend satisfaction, self image satisfaction, sex satisfaction (I'm raising my hand, cause I too suffer). My solution...disclaimer: may not work with people who have pint sized obligations, .i.e children end disclaimer... QUIT. Yep. I said it it. Quit. You hate your job, quit. You hate your relationship, quit. You hate the fact that you gained 20 pounds since college quit eating out and knocking back six packs, you hate your friends quit them too...ok quitting everything may seem a little extreme....but you get the point.

We can sit around all day and lament about our sad, pathetic lives, that others would dream of having. Or we could STOP BITCHIN' AND START A REVOLUTION...(i.e. do something about it).

Thanks, that's all.

Diva

J's Team Supreme Lineup: The Lawyer

As a person with several friends in the medical, law and business profession, I’m starting to notice a trend. It’s actually very troubling to me. But have you noticed, every attractive Black woman with a law degree is married, engaged or dating someone? And this doesn’t extend across fields. As I know many women who walked across the stage and earned their M.D. or M.B.A. this past May who are single as your last cigarette.

I hate to admit this, but I know several men who will not date women without advanced degrees. They just don’t feel like they have anything in common with them. Or they don’t feel like they are worthy of an educated Black man without the advanced degree. Me, I’m on the fence. My friends say I date hood chicks. What type of craziness is that?! OK… maybe I do date hood chicks. But I mean, I don’t mind my sisters with their professional degrees.

To me, there is nothing better than a woman in her business suit. Pencil skirt, white blouse, blazer, and some 3.5 inch heels (http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com/2009/05/high-heels-freestyle-random-rant.html). And I know that I need someone to take care of me when I’m old and can’t do it for myself, but the lab coat has nothing on the business suit. Moreover, it’s nothing better than an opinionated woman in a suit. You know when they get upset and the skin between their eyes squints up and they’re determined to make their point. Actually put some Prada glasses on a chick and got to take the Gucci bucket hat and put it over my face and say, “wooooooooooooooooo!”

Now, what is it about these women that is enabling them to be able to find nuptials at such a faster rate than any other genre of female. It may very well come down to the fact that every man sees what I do. So for the record where does that leave me in terms of women I find attractive. Let’s revisit the starting five:

#5 – Creativity breathes excitement, so an artist would be nice. She can’t be strung out on drugs tho.
#4 – You have to have a someone that’s not that smart, but looks real nice, but doesn’t read really good. So we are going to have to have a model here.
#3 – Got to have a mixed chick. Mixed with something like… Black and Filipino. Just so when you step in the club, people are like, “Who brought Cassie?” And you are like what has two thumbs and is with the baddest chick in the club, “THIS GUY!”
#2 – Shoulders, back and legs are sexy, so we need an athlete of some sort. I’m an asshole, so if I have to run from her, she shouldn’t be able to catch me. So we’re going to go with a basketball player here. (Shelden Williams if you mess up, I’m taking yo’ chick.)
#1 – Lawyer chick. She’s going to need flexible hours because I’m sure that morning coffee is going to turn into, “Sex in the kitchen, over by the stove, put you on the counter by the butter rolls…”

So yeah, that’s what this whole thing was about.

Every girl… not every girl… almost every girl.

Yuuuuuuup!

Morning Mail – 07.15.09

Ace: The point is, my friend, you are afraid of love.
Tripp: Bullshit. No, no, no, no, no, man. I'm not afraid of love. I love love. Look, I've had a lot of girlfriends, right? And sometimes I'm the rebound guy. Other times, when I get lucky, I'm the "explore new areas of your sexuality" guy. But every single time, we have fun. Thank you. I have fun, they have fun. It's good for me, it's good for them. And I would argue that it's damn good for civilization as a whole.
(Source: Failure to Launch)

If everyone just said what was on their mind all the time, where would that leave us?

You got paid, so smile.

Imagine if Perez Hilton and Riley from Boondocks got stuck in an elevator together.

Metro is just full of shit.

Trey Songz really makes me laugh.

Spreading my wings and flying… @DrJayJack needs more people. Follow me.

Check out my article on buppie today, Can Our Small Circle Really Afford our Lifestyle?:
http://buppie.blogspot.com/2009/07/can-our-small-circle-really-afford-our.html

I got a couple blogs to write today, including one on the single pregnant lady on the train.

Miss Jay, J.D. tells us why she has decided to stop dating Black men:

***This is Part 2, of a two part series. This is my commentary based on yesterday's blog, which can be found below, or at - http://thebookofjackson.blogspot.com/2009/07/miss-jay-jd-tells-us-why-she-has.html ***

I’ll be honest with you, I have this conversation more than I’d like to. For some reason Black women feel empowered to mention to me that they have decided that they want to date white men. Although that is not the case here, I typically tell them that somehow they have me mistaken for someone who doesn’t date Black women, which is completely false. I just prefer to date faces and not races. Most times when I’m thrust into this conversation it usually is for some dumb reason. “Why is it that Black men are the only ones who are allowed to date outside their race?” They never have been. There are actually plenty of white men who don’t date solely in their race. “I can’t find any qualified Black men to date in my race.” This isn’t true, the qualified Black men don’t want to date you, and maybe you should evaluate what you are doing and make some revisions.

However, when I had this conversation as much as I do not like when Black women go IN on Black men, I actually agreed with a lot of points and thought to share. I’m going to respond to a few things she said and actually begin with Black men’s sense of entitlement, complaining, and standards.

I do not understand how a Black man can feel a sense of entitlement, that’s just ridiculous. It’s definitely a case of not really understanding where they came from, I mean let’s be real, it may be some successful men who feel like they are holier than thou, but to be perfectly honest the vast majority of us are pulling up the rear for the gender. Isn’t it odd that Black men are some of the sexiest men on the planet, but compose the majority of the people incarcerated? Ain’t that a bitch.

Next, yeah us Black men do a deal of complaining about random ish. We complain about how crazy women are, we complain that we have to put up with all these requirements and rules, we complain about anything we can complain about. We’ll complain that you have self-esteem, we’ll complain that you’re a smart ass, we’ll complain that you always are trying to talk over my head, we’ll complain that you are always talking… I think you get the picture, don’t take us complaining about shit that serious because we’d complain even if you did everything right. Don’t you remember when Dwayne Wayne complained that Whitley was always perfect?

Standards. Can a Black man really profess to having standards? Can any man really profess to having standards? A man would have sex with a Heineken bottle if he can fit his junk in it. Listen, honest to God confession, I love my Jetta, if my Jetta had a vagina instead of a gas can, i'd have sex with it and have beautiful black and green babies. But on a more serious note, Black men are selective because they are in a position where they are clearly outnumbered by women, so they can create arbitrary requirements. The negotiations are much like car sales. It's like once you feel like you can get a deal, you try and go for the HOMERUN.

me: And i'd like sex everyday and twice a day on the weekend.
girl: Sure. How is your credit?
me: Really?! Hmm... good. Well i'd like head in my car. Oh yeah, and my credit is horrible.
girl: I love giving head in the car. Do you think you'll ever graduate from college?
me: Oh sh*t! OK, now this deal really hinges around how you feel about threesomes. How do you feel about it? Oh and about college, I decided that college wasn't really for me.
girl: Will this complete the sale?
me: I don't know... I'm still undecided.
girl: Well sure. As long as you don't sleep with her when i'm not around.
me: [Jumps up and does the "Wipe Me Down" dance] Church! You got yourself a deal. Well, about a relationship, I think I will have to sleep with the other girl just to make sure she's a good lay.

You see how these standards go for a guy? So i'd be inclined to agree, the standards are just ridiculous.

In conclusion, it's fairly simple, you know how when you're friend is in a barfight you have to defend him to the death? But after you let him know how stupid it was for him to start the fight over someone stepping on his foot in a crowded bar anyway? This is one of those situations. I'll just have to admit when it's hard to defend the home team. As it pertains to a sense of entitlement, excessive complaining, or high standards, maybe our actions can't be defended.

Miss Jay, J.D. tells us why she has decided to stop dating Black men:

***This is Part 1, of a two part series. I will post my commentary to this tomorrow.***

Recently, I was chatting it up with a friend. I'm close enough to this young lady that she can feel free to say anything and I won't get angry or judge. So imagine that while i'm visiting a blog that I actually frequent because I think it's an excellently written blog, idatewhite.com, and she sends me this message: "I have decided to stop dating black men, and let me disclaim this entire conversation by saying I know some amazing black men who have a number of virtues that any woman would be lucky to have. Clearly they are not free of flaw but neither is anyone. They are still catches."

Of course, I didn't think anything was wrong with that. But I was still interested to know why and below are some of the highlights of the conversation:

First, my best friend [it’s a male] sent me an article on what single women can learn from Michelle Obama the article's argument was that many black women wouldn't date the community organizing earning 30K or something; and excuse me, I'm about to say something that some people cannot stand because I'm about to get very nitpicky and classist. Please forgive me in advance. Barack graduated from Columbia and then went to Harvard law. Michelle met him AT HER LAW FIRM. So it is different if he's highly educated, able to hold his own with certain people in conversation, etc and chose to earn 30K.

Now a point on Michelle, a top Princeton grad who went to Harvard law as well, she knew her earning potential. I'd argue that a lot of girls who went to the top schools aren't necessarily looking for the money. The money is already under control, they can earn it. They want someone with the credentials. That's another issue, maybe thats a problem, but that's not at issue right now. Yes, a community organizer who doesn't make that much comparatively but that was by choice which is important he's not making that much bc he cannot make more, he's making that much bc this is a career choice he's passionate about.

[A former male classmate], God bless his soul too but not as much, sent me something someone wrote on black women needing to stay fit and they cannot be surprised when men aren’t interested if they gain weight or already are fat. I am naturally thin, very thin, I will probably always be thin, BUT I understand that weight is an issue thats a little more complicated than eat right and work out sometimes, and eat right and work out in itself can be complicated. If you control for socioeconomic status, black men are less healthy than black women, its just true. But it doesn't seem so, why? Their dating pool.

They have a very large dating pool available to them and won't necessarily exclude girls who will be excluded after controlling for education and/or socioeconomic status. My friend always loves to say...round everyone up and ask all the men, "how many of you have or know someone who has dated someone who was in jail or had just gotten out of jail?" and then you do the same for the women and after those answers, you cannot complain about a black woman's standards because it will be clear what they really are. so then men still complain black men that is, and why is that? Because they can. it's literally a world where the odds are so in their favor that they can demand excellence and produce nothing. It won't work for all black men, but in theory it could.

That results in a group of entirely spoiled black men with elevated senses of self which I feel horrible saying but it’s true, and that’s not to say that their aren't girls who are full of themselves or have an elevated sense of self worth. And while I love you all so it's actually just a bit insane. so, as a result of all this, I talked myself into anger and am removing myself from the black male dating pool.

me: now do african men count?
I think I'm going to end up making it non black American men ... with both black and American being who separate subjective tests. meaning a man of recent African heritage who has been sufficiently "Americanized" will also be excluded, the point is to remove myself from the dating pool of anyone who has been affected by this nonsense.

me: Well, don't date white men, because of the reasons you named for Black men, it's out of control for white men.
White men have a sense of entitlement for other reasons and its the fault of the British. I've never excluded groups based on race, my serious relationships have only been with black men but I've dated white guys, so I'm not going to exclude them. I date based on the person anyway, white guys have a higher bar bc I'm very anti fetishizing. And I generally don't have to worry about a black guy fetishizing me for being black...that actually makes no sense. It would have to be based on something else, so the same restrictions will be placed on white guys. Nothing is changing. I’m' just actively not dating black men.

To be continued... tomorrow.

Dr. J is now on twitter....

Please follow me @DrJayJack.

Why was Regis spooning with Kelly Ripa?

Why am I needing to get up but can't? The (in)cation begins!

Can someone tell me why this girl said, I'm on a dick hiatus. Now that just doesn't make sense to me. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Morning Mail - 07.09.09

Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.
Joanna: Well, so what do you wanna do?
Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'?
Joanna: I love 'Kung Fu'.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Joanna: Totally.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight.
Joanna: Ok.
[Peter nods]
Joanna: Ok. Can we order lunch first?
[Peter nods again]
Joanna: Ok.

(Source: Office Space)

This is the story of my life....

I’ve been all over the place lately, but I’ve kept up with a steady amount of blog material. Please check out my posts on other sites if you haven’t.

Why is it that Black urban professionals get money and then become Republicans?
http://buppie.blogspot.com/2009/07/buppie-why-is-it-that-black-urban.html

My weekly Single Black Male post, also the Get Over it Series, which is a HIT:
Get Over it Series: Men Are Judgmental
http://www.singleblackmale.net/2009/07/09/the-get-over-it-series-men-are-judgmental/

And if you may have overlooked, yesterday’s post, make sure you check that out.

Please, please, please, whether you have a PDA or not check out blogger.com’s new Mobile Blogging feature. It’s great.

I respect a lady, but this bitch is crazy…

A man ain’t a man until he’s had to deal with a few crazy b*tches. And I want you to repeat after me, say it slowly, craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy b*tches. I mean the chick is so crazy she makes you wonder if something is wrong with you. I can give you some pointers on how to deal with crazy women, afterall, I’ve had a few, and I know a few that have affected my boys or are friends of mine. (Re: My crazy female friends: I love you all, but you are crazy.) Less I hold you too long here are some signs that you might be dealing with a crazy chick:

1) She has no middle ground, either she’s super nice or she’s completely evil. Be careful this doesn’t mean that when she’s completely evil she’s screaming and tearing the club up. It means she has no middle ground. These are the ones who use phrases like, “Nothing” “Don’t worry about it” “Just drop it” or the infamous “I’ll take care of it.” And afterwards they don’t want to talk, but they still have that look on their face like someone farted and they’re the only one who smells it.

2) You wake up or look away and look back at her and she’s looking at you. You ever been watching TV with your girl and you’re watching like a movie or something, or maybe sports, and you glance at her and she’s staring at you, instead of the TV. Or you wake up in the middle of the night and you notice she’s staring at you. THIS GIRL DOESN’T WANT TO LET YOU OUT OF HER SIGHTS. You guessed it, she’s crazy.

3) If you think her nickname could be 21 questions, she’s probably crazy. Now women have explained to me several reasons why they nag and I’m beginning to understand it, but hitting old homeboy with a gang of questions that seem to have no end… UNACCEPTABLE. And you know how you know she’s crazy when you can’t answer one before she starts asking another.

Your Lady: How was your day? Why you didn’t get home to 6PM today? Where was your coworker Tony? What about that chick Kim? Does Kim have a man? She always be talking about happy hour. Where does Kim live? Did she use to be a freak in college? What school she went to? You ever tried to talk to Kim? Why can’t I meet Kim? Don’t Kim work in a different department or project than you now anyway? Are you friends with her on facebook? Let me see her page. You never did nothing with Kim? You never kiss her, touched her, or nothing? You f*cked Kim didn’t you?

You: Baby, who’s Kim?

4) Men, I need you to shut up and really listen to me right now. If you feel any of the following ways, your girl is crazy:

a. You have to hide things from your girl because you fear she will get mad
b. You can’t talk about certain things around her because you fear she will get mad
c. You ever felt like you could do something that would cause her to stab or shoot you
d. You ever felt obligated to not do something because you fear she will get mad
e. If you have to tell your friends that if she asks, you were with them last night, when you really were with them last night, just because your girl will flip out at the slightest difference in story…

That’s right, you guessed it, your girl is crazy!

What do y’all think? Any other signs that a girl is crazy? I kind of left this one open because I really want to hear your thoughts and stories. The floor is now open.

So I'm glad to report we now have mobile blogging. It works through my text messaging so because I have vzw I can post even when underground. More to come.

Morning Mail - 07.07.09

Emma Woodhouse: One does not like to generalize about so many people all at once, Mr. Knightley, but you may be sure that men know nothing about their hearts, whether they be six-and-twenty, or six-and-eighty.
(Source: Emma)

Morning Mail - 07.02.09

Dennis: As you get older, you're gonna realize there are a lot of things that you don't like. Things much worse than this. And when those things happen, you can't just run away.
Jake: why not?
Dennis: Because it doesn't solve the problem. The problem's still there. You've got to stick at it, and then figure out a way to solve the problem, even if it's really really hard.
Jake: Is that what you do, Dad?
Dennis: [just looking helpless and speechless... ]
Jake: Dad?
(Source: Run Fatboy Run)

Songs in my head:
Jaheim - Once In A While
Lil' Wayne - I'm Me

Be sure to catch the new series, Get Over It, airing Thursdays on http://singleblackmale.net

The Morning Mail is back. I apologize for any inconvenience.

DC Bloggers what it do for the weekend? Sidenote, why is it that I encourage the chat room and I don't have one? That's funny. But DC Diva's joint is popping. Hopefully, they stop cracking the whip and I can engage in some chatting today.

Keep it 100.

Keep Ya Bidness Out The Tweets: Top 5 Ways To Get Caught On Twitter

The following is an entry from Radio, a good member of the Type iLL blog Family. Wooooooo! He hit the nail on the head with this one!

"It's Twitney, Bitch!" - Anonymous

Twitter! Home of just about everybody right now…right? This damn new “thing” adds an unnecessary level of f*ckery to our everyday lives, whether public or private. With quick and easy first hand access to so many people, one would think that they have hit the gold mine with regards to pimpin.

I beg to differ, and I have 5 reasons why:

1. Everything you say is “googlable.” Yes, I don’t give a f*ck about bing.com. At least not yet…Google is still the search engine of champions. If people want to know something about anything, they “google” it. Some of you have screennames that are extremely uncreative (you used your real name).Game over for you if you try to get cute and say some slick sh*t, and it ends up popping up as the first line in your girlfriends random google search. Got ‘em.
*note that even if your partner doesn’t have twitter, this is how you can still “get got.”

2. Sending messages that should be DM’s. Oh sh*t! Some of us send mad reckless tweets to more than one female at a time! Chicks y’all be wyling alot too. Don’t get reported to @hoecop, seriously. You know that “@replies” are fed to everyone, right? …and then there’s the literal f*ckups , like being on ubertwitter and squealing “oh sh*t” after publicly asking @yourconcubine for the time to meet at the hotel so you can get it on. I know, you thought you were sending a DM. Your bad.
*Twitterberry is good for doing people dirty with this one.

See the rest at, http://nonstopradio.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/keep-ya-bidness-out-the-tweets-top-5-ways-to-get-caught-on-twitter/