Over 21, not admitted without Younger Sister

**Before you guys read this, just know that ... sometimes I like to tell funny stories. Everything I say is not the gospel, some of it is to make you laugh. However, the best jokes are the ones with a little truth in them.**

I work near the campus of George Washington University here in Washington, DC and every now and then just for a change of pace, I decide to go on campus to grab a bite. Almost immediately upon walking on campus, there’s an itch I get that I need to get off that campus. There’s just too much ass floating around the place. The other day I’m walking up a flight of stairs into the food court area they have and there’s a group of girls walking down. As I look up, I see a young girl, probably age 19 or 20 and she’s got on these leggings. And I know this little girl does not think she’s slick. Those leggings were about as tight as she could fit in them and it was obvious she had no underwear on underneath them. As I’m trying to keep myself from looking at this camel toe in front of me, it dawns on me. Men love and hate women under the age of 21.

It’s sort of scandalous to see what women in college wear on a daily basis, but I’m not even mad at them. In my opinion and theirs, their body is never going to be that fly ever again in life. Girls from the ages of 18-22, have perky breasts and asses that don’t jiggle … when they’ve stopped walking or moving seconds ago. They got it and they should flaunt it. The other thing is, outside of college there’s no other appropriate place to put your sexuality on display for everyone to see and pursue. After college you know what they call that woman? A hoe. Think about it, in college it could be 32 degrees outside, but a freshman girl put on about two threads of clothing, her stomach and back was out, her shoes were open toes and she went to the party. She threw on a North Face and the second she got in the door, she threw it off and started grinding on every dude she could find. Now think about women who walk into the club these days with no clothes on … every sister looks at, nods their head and says, “that girl is a hoe.”

Men over the age of 21 know that women over the age of 21 are encouraging them to stay away from women under the age of 21. Men, this is a trick! This is women’s attempt at trying to pull you into their abyss. Don’t fall for it. There’s nothing wrong with dating women seven years your senior, as long as they are 18. That’s a fact, a real O.G. told me that. Anyway, we know that we can get in trouble for doing that, so what do we do? We take our ass to happy hour with you guys and stop going to house parties with young sexually liberated 19 year old with perky breasts.

Ain’t that about a bitch?

Most men know this, but are afraid to follow through. Men have got to stop denying themselves the things they want. Mainly, bacon, fried chicken, white women, orgasms when we’re ready and last but not least, new p*ssy. I don’t mean that in a disrespectful manner, I mean that in the manner of which Quentin said in the movie, The Best Man. “Ain’t nothing better than some p*ssy, but some new p*ssy.” Can I get a witness? And that’s why men love women under the age of 21. It’s just fresher. I think about it like an Impala. Yes, you can get an Impala from the 80s, that’s pretty fly, but you probably gonna have all types of issues with it; it burns a lot of gas and the cops always pull you over for driving in it late at night. Or you can get a new Impala; of course most Negroes will hate on you, but you’ll have less problems and that ride is “tight”.

The last thing that scares men about women under the age of 21 is that they’re smart. At the same time, they love this about women under the age of 21. You see these women have all the potential in the world. And a man enjoys nothing more than screwing that all up by getting you hooked on his d*ck. And even if he doesn’t intend on destroying your life as most men who are just f*cking females plan on doing, he knows you’re not even smart enough to figure it out, because you’re just too damn smart. You know how hard it is to explain to a 20 year old that you can’t get an “A” in life just for getting all the right answers? There is no study guide to getting d*cked over by men that you can study and get a good grade on the test. The only tests that you take around here are pregnancy tests and STD tests and all these sumbitches are Pass/Fail. The only problem here is, they’re smart enough to ask questions, and questions are the trickiest part of a man’s game. If you EVER want to catch a man in a lie, ask him a barrage of questions that only have one word answers. If he says, “um” or tries to explain a simple answer, that brother is lying. (This should also explain to you why men get so uncomfortable whenever someone starts asking them more than three questions in a row. “Son, chill with the questions!”)

With all that said, I was once going to pick up my friend from a high school in Northern Virginia. Yes, Black people do go to Virginia … if and only if you are going to pick up a white person. He’s a girls lacrosse coach. As I pulled up to the school he said, “Jackson, come here, take a look at this, what do you smell?” I said, “Dirt, hurry the f*ck up.” He said, “No, I smell p*ssy. Brand new p*ssy. You know how a new car has a distinct smell, you should come in the locker room after practice. Now I’ve got bad credit and horrible driving history, so I can’t get one of these cars anytime soon, but that smell … [he took a deep inhale and let it out slowly].