Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Summertime Fashion Push

For the Ladies: Nude Pumps and the Return of Maxi Dresses

For some reason we can’t kill off these maxi dresses. Of course there are some really good bodies in maxi dresses, but let’s be honest people, you don’t really see a lot of maxi dresses on people who should be wearing them. I’d say 5 out of 6 of them shouldn’t be wearing the maxi dress. But le sigh. The maxi dress is comfortable, it’s versatile. And you know what I’d rather you wear a maxi dress and sandals and be able to transition from the day move to the night out on the town, than the always awkward need to return home so that you can change for the night.

Here are some keys to victory from a man’s point of view. Figure out what you’re going to do about your underwear situation before you put that dress on. You have a few choices, you can go with VS seamless panties, a thong, or commando. You should know your body type so that you can tell which one you want to do. One time I was at this cookout and you could tell this girl wanted to go commando, but she had a little too much going on under that dress. It was like watching waves rolling from off the shore. At the same token, I was with a pretty fit girl one time and she decided that because people could see her panty line that she’d rather go without and her body wasn’t one that jiggled, but it was shapely. I think the thong is for those women who just hate going commando, and the seamless is for women who need to hold it together, or need assistance in getting the right shape. Don’t sleep, underwear can pull things together. Here’s what you don’t do; don’t wear lace, or embroidery, people can see that and it’s disgusting. And although many people don’t agree with me recommending this, here’s my you didn’t get this from me piece of advice; you can solve a lot of problems with maxi dresses by copping a pair of spanx.

Nude Pumps. My homegirl Mia wrote a wonderful piece on Nude Pumps yesterday over at the StylEdit. You guys know I love that site. So I’m always referring people to it. If you haven’t already, please follow it. Anyway, here are my thoughts on the nude pumps; I think they should match your complexion, if not then they are just beige pumps. Which is perfectly fine. However, if you get the opportunity, and you are a darker or even bronzer complexion, slip on a pair of pumps to match your skin tone. It makes your legs look perfect, they compliment your skin, and give you this look that I’m sure you’ll like. If you search long enough you’ll find a soft leather pair, the only reason why I mention that is because I’ve seen a lot of patent leather ones. I had a friend who had a pair of nude patent leather pumps a few years ago. They were also her favorite club attire heels. Needless to say they got scuffed and getting those scuffs off where kind of difficult.

Gentlemen: Cuffed Jeans, the 70s, Polos and Deck Shoes

I’ll touch briefly on some male fashion trends and just talk personally about something that I’ve been doing. I am so on the fence about men cuffing their jeans because I have not seen it done the correct way most times. I can understand if you are wearing a nice pair of deck shoes and you don’t want your jeans dragging on the ground. I can live with that. Here’s what I cannot deal with is when I can see your bare leg above your ankle, that’s doing the 40 yard dash in the 30 yard room.

I’ve seen a lot of people with clothes that look like they are in the 70s … the 1870s. I’m not a fan. As a person who used to rock a hard rotation of Benjamin Bixby and still do a lot of shopping at Rugby, I’m nosigning this look with strong urge and fury. The reason why is because in the 1870s as a Black guy, you look like you belong on some cotton field. However, here’s a throwaway just because I’m feeling nice today; ribs are back in, which means the 70s are in … the 1970s. Undersized tee-shirts, shell tops, and be careful… but boot cut jeans are in. Take it the extra mile and visit Digital Gravel and get your vintage tee-shirt game up. Last but not least just a friendly reminder that people need to stop buying polos from Express and spend more time at Ralph Lauren, mainly their Polo and Rugby store.

Last note, I got into a big debate with a group of ladies about what if men started buying nude shoes. She nosigned it. But don’t listen to her. I think it’s perfectly fine for you to buy deck shoes that match your complexion. I think every man should have at least two pairs of deck shoes, you’re white shoes this year, make them deck shoes FTW. I actually like to buy mine from an outdoor store, only because I want them to grip on to a boat when wet. That’s me, I’m actually thinking about boats and h*es all the time. That’s a Stepbrothers reference for you feminists.

I’m getting out of here.

PS – I don’t know when this happened, but recently there was a shift and now you’re seeing more men pairing their ties with their socks. Make the switch if you like. As with most men fashion, electing not to partake is totally fine. People still rock the James Bond look and do just fine. This is why I respect women’s fashion so much more, if you wear something that’s ten years old but not in style that year, people will stare at you like you smell.

1 comment:

AtypicalPsyche said...

Funny you should mention that about the pumps. I think nude pumps are a cool style, but I'm brown as hell. That shit would look all flavors of dumb on me. Always gotta know what works for YOU. Fuck what's "in" if that shit looks miserable on you.