Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Afternoon Mail - 4.26.11

Benny: Marybeth, I know what I am. Don't think for a second that I don't, 'cus I do. Like when I hear you and Ridley talking to some of the other girls, things yous able to talk about
Benny: you're smart, you got schooling, you know things. Me, what do I know... I know that being with me must be like being with a retard. I look in the mirror sometimes, I wonder what you're doin with me. I know you do, too. When the day comes, you find somebody better, 'cus one day that will happen, I ain't gonna give you no shit over it, ok? I'm just gonna be grateful that I had some time with you. You's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love you.
(Source: Life is Hot in Cracktown)

Put this movie on your queue. It’s not the greatest movie, but it is actually a really great movie about crackheads. And yes, Kerry Washington is in it.

Ain’t it weird when an actress you find attractive is in a movie as a prostitute? Like you want to see a little skin, but it’s sort of like, “But I don’t really like seeing her in this position of servitude.”

Whole movie got me to think about the whole head and knees thing again. I’m still going to say that I don’t think it happens anymore. And by knees I mean, her knees on the floor, not on the bed.

My post on SBM was a success just as I wanted it to be. But it got me to thinking about some people who read blogs. Do you ever get the feeling that people think they’re “blessing your blog with their presence” everyday? I think that there are some people who think that the party doesn’t start until they show up. Reminds me of these $1 parties that the Sigmas used to throw at Cuse. These were the most hilarious parties ever. They were basically free parties because the ticket cost like a $1 or they gave it away for free. AND THEY DID NO WORK PROMOTING THE PARTY, THEY JUST HAD THE PARTY AND PEOPLE SHOWED UP IN DROVES. Why did that remind me of that? Because sometimes I wonder if I did a blank post, what would happen in the comments section. Allegedly, it’s the readers who make the blog … dique … so it really doesn’t matter what I write, does it? Anyway just to go back to the original point, just so you know, if you don’t show up on a blog one day, you just get replaced. In reality, never in the history of blogging has a commenter’s absence caused a blog to shutdown. I’m pretty sure it’s when the blogger stops blogging. I’ll ask Slim how many comments a day he’s getting over at 3ways.

I am an obsessive counter. For example, I have a bad habit of counting pregos all day long. And then I have this visual memory that when I go from my commute from my home to place of work, I can remember each one. I counted four today. One was running. Now we are in the warmer times of the year. Yesterday I went to Red Lobster for the last day of Lobsterfest. #NIIIICE. I counted in downtown Silver Spring no less than 6 maxi dresses, one of the shorties was making it a-okay to have it on, the others looked horrid. The one shorty who was bad, was married. #LOSS. I counted eight teenagers standing in an area. They could have been no more than 16, and they all had tattoos and were smoking Black & Milds. Who’s signing these permission slips on these tattoos? (Sidenote, remember back in the day the only fun thing to do was go to the mall? Couldn’t get into any places because of your age.)

The point of that was today, 50% of the women I saw had on nude pumps. A few had on beige and thought we was going to let that slide, but whatever. Be prepared as Scar once said, these nude pumps are coming y’all.

So it’s like 90 degrees outside in DC today. That means everybody wants to wear their summer dress, or at least a dress. All the women and gay men that is. I don’t have on a dress, I have on deck shoes though. And it became obvious this might not be the best idea once I got to work. After work I’m going to buy a new suit. Anyway, so the wind is blowing like at least 30mph today. And that means most of the women have to hold their skirts down. So today at lunch I went to Baja Fresh and I sat in a high chair that was viewing the outside of what I think is 21st and I. This is a crazy intersection because there’s a BoA across the street. And you know what that means…

It means that you have to let go of your skirt to place your hand over the screen to deflect the glare, and also use your other hand to type in your information on the keypad or screen. Needless to say, “I see Paris, I see France, I see someone’s underpants.”

And what is it about people and their ridiculous sunglasses. First things first, if you are a man and your shades take up 50% of your face, seek professional help. Another thing that’s clearly out of style these days is the random colors that we had for our shades. I see this lady with these sunglasses with a brown tint. I thought that was sort of cool, but the brown to clear fade went out a few years back, like 2006. Stoooooooooop.

Oh snap, this was a longer than expected post.

I swear this guy at my job is always eating and smacking. Then he asks me, “Why you always looking at me like I’m bothering you?” And I smile and respond, “You’re okay.” He be knowing though, he be knowing. One of these days I’m just going to lock my screen and walk away when he comes around.

Pray for me. Some days I think that I’m a likely candidate to end up on CNN with a hostage situation at my job. That won’t work out for me either since I work so close to the White House.

Life is good. God is good.



Mrs.Brightside said...

Great quote as usual. Coincidently last night my nightly message was “It’s really hard to be smarter than other people but that doesn’t mean it’s easier to be dumber.” Get out of my head sir.

(Then I’m going to skip down.)

How do you feel about the nude pump? Are you welcoming it or hoping the fad dies?

Lol Really, panty watching; hilarious. You did a lot of land marking in this post. Am I too new to know that’s not unusual?

Lenore said...

"He be knowing though, he be knowing" - HAAAAA! This was my favorite part today.